Johnny_A Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I've been with my gf for 2 years now - we live together and have been very happy, with the occasional up's and down's that comes with any relationship. Back in the summer I left town for a couple of weeks due to work and she started hanging out alot with another guy - a friend of a friend. She was open with me about this, told me that she found him attractive but there was nothing going on, and I completely trusted her. I recently went home alone for thanksgiving because she had to work all weekend. When I came home, I found her to be very distant, she wanted to talk about our relationship and said alot of strange things. She was still herself overall, I just noticed some nuances - I felt like she had something else going on in her mind the whole time. I never snoop through her emails because I trust her and don't want to be like that, but occasionally she leaves her password in (which she has told me) and it automatically opens when I try to go to mine. I noticed that there was an email from this guy, but I didn't open it. Later on when she came home, she opened it and immediately started acting very strange. I knew it was because of that email - so the next day I just went for broke and looked in the trash bin of her gmail settings (not cool to do, I know, but I had a gut feeling that I couldn't deny). I found the guys email - it mentioned how he was confused at how she was making him feel, and that he's not sure if it's a good idea that they get together unless she's serious. She was out and called me (drunk, from a bar) to say she would be late getting home - I confronted her and came clean about snooping - she said that they had kissed. I had to pry out of her the fact that it was this last weekend while I was gone. When she was drunk she was really confrontational and told me that 'sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, sometimes it means more'. I got up early to go to work and haven't spoken to her, I've ignored her calls and have heard her messages - as she's sober, saying that she loves me and she's a mess right now and needs to talk to me. Of course I will talk to her, but I'm at a loss... She told me that she broke up with an old boyfriend by cheating on him. I'm a good boyfriend, I know this - saw no sign of this coming, and she's only upset now that she's been caught. I don't think that she would have told me about this. Part of me feels like a clean start on my own is the best thing to do - it just sucks. Anyone have any insights? Thanks
WTRanger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Once a cheater, always a cheater. I'd listen to her "excuse" for doing what she did, then I'd calmly tell her that it's over. It sucks you had to find out about it that way, and part of what you did is shady. She has the right to be mad at you as well. Clearly, what you both did shows a lack of overall trust between each other, so that's a huge red flag that this relationship is on it's way to the morgue. I hate it when my gf's tell me passwords. I don't want to know, I don't want that pressure to check. Face it, sometimes we are curious creatures, especially when they start acting strange.
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