9Lives Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 As some of you know, I have been broke up for good(off/on relationship). This happen Aug 19th. he has been texting me every month saying hi and how are you. I have ignored them all until this last one last week. I responded(bad mistake) Still in a lot of pain. Cared too much for you. still trying to get pass this. didnt realize you stop caring. still dont understand. time heals wounds. Guess what? No responds. That is when I got mad! so that night I text him I thought about what I said earlier and it occured to me that you really dont give a fk. You text me several times asking how im doing, I let you know, then you go silent. Im finish with this childish bs. Now I dont give a fk. Good bye ex name. I get a text back EARLY that morning which told me he thought about it all night cause he dont text me early like that. He says childish pls. I texted u last sat just checking on you. All you had to say was Im good ex..thanks for asking. But its always the drama. I know how you feel. I do care and respect u enought to check on you. but u take care and you wont hear from me again. no need to reply. I got so mad!!! First of all, you dont tell me how to respnd or not to. Your ego is too dam big. I dont have to thank you for a darn thing. I didnt leave... you did and I havent text you at all. So I tell him: U care 4 & respect me. LOL. what a fking joke. u respect me so much u want to tell me how to respond & when. wow. Im done. so take care & u wont hear from me either. He says: take it how you want to.U right like always. Peace. I say:wait a minute big man, i thought u wasnt going to text me anymore. i guess you cant be real about that either. He says:just replying to your cry...grandma (im 3 years older) i wasnt crying so I dont know why he said that. I say: like I said...CHILDISH I got upset cause he has been texting me and when I respond he goes silent. I realize this was a stupid game and I wasnt going to play with him. I feel like my ex wants me at his leisure and my expense cause he knows i love him. But Im not dealing with it anymore. I have been so good to him and he treated me in ways I just cant understand. I know I did the right thing. Now he wont be text me anymore. For some reason my aunt thinks he will. I dont get it. Seems like he would be happy now. its crazy to me.
ShannonMI Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 As some of you know, I have been broke up for good(off/on relationship). This happen Aug 19th. he has been texting me every month saying hi and how are you. I have ignored them all until this last one last week. I responded(bad mistake) Still in a lot of pain. Cared too much for you. still trying to get pass this. didnt realize you stop caring. still dont understand. time heals wounds. Guess what? No responds. That is when I got mad! so that night I text him I thought about what I said earlier and it occured to me that you really dont give a fk. You text me several times asking how im doing, I let you know, then you go silent. Im finish with this childish bs. Now I dont give a fk. Good bye ex name. I get a text back EARLY that morning which told me he thought about it all night cause he dont text me early like that. He says childish pls. I texted u last sat just checking on you. All you had to say was Im good ex..thanks for asking. But its always the drama. I know how you feel. I do care and respect u enought to check on you. but u take care and you wont hear from me again. no need to reply. I got so mad!!! First of all, you dont tell me how to respnd or not to. Your ego is too dam big. I dont have to thank you for a darn thing. I didnt leave... you did and I havent text you at all. So I tell him: U care 4 & respect me. LOL. what a fking joke. u respect me so much u want to tell me how to respond & when. wow. Im done. so take care & u wont hear from me either. He says: take it how you want to.U right like always. Peace. I say:wait a minute big man, i thought u wasnt going to text me anymore. i guess you cant be real about that either. He says:just replying to your cry...grandma (im 3 years older) i wasnt crying so I dont know why he said that. I say: like I said...CHILDISH I got upset cause he has been texting me and when I respond he goes silent. I realize this was a stupid game and I wasnt going to play with him. I feel like my ex wants me at his leisure and my expense cause he knows i love him. But Im not dealing with it anymore. I have been so good to him and he treated me in ways I just cant understand. I know I did the right thing. Now he wont be text me anymore. For some reason my aunt thinks he will. I dont get it. Seems like he would be happy now. its crazy to me. This exchange you had goes to show what an insensitive prick your ex is. I wish you hadn't continued to text him. He isn't worth your time or frustration. IF HE TEXTS YOU AGAIN DO NOT RESPOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, look how pissed and upset you are now! He's so not worth it!
TLCbear Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I got upset cause he has been texting me and when I respond he goes silent. I realize this was a stupid game and I wasnt going to play with him. But...you ended up playing the game with him. Unfortunely, I agree with him. IF you decided to respond to his text, you should have kept it simple... "I'm doing good, thanks for asking" ...as he said. Never let them know exactly how you feel if it's negative, don't give that type of satisfaction. It's a different thing if he said both of you needed to sit down and talk, but he didn't. Looking at it from his point of view, I can see it as sort of dramatic, however, looking at it from your point of view, I can truly understand why you did what you did. You are still angry at him and that is completely understandable. But now, all you have done is reset the clock...and that is not good. Maybe you need to just let go all together. He's probably never going to want to know your side of things..that's just like people who have hurt someone...never wanting to take responsibility for their actions. But good luck to you, sorry for what you are going through.
Author 9Lives Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 But...you ended up playing the game with him. Unfortunely, I agree with him. IF you decided to respond to his text, you should have kept it simple... "I'm doing good, thanks for asking" ...as he said. Never let them know exactly how you feel if it's negative, don't give that type of satisfaction. It's a different thing if he said both of you needed to sit down and talk, but he didn't. Looking at it from his point of view, I can see it as sort of dramatic, however, looking at it from your point of view, I can truly understand why you did what you did. You are still angry at him and that is completely understandable. But now, all you have done is reset the clock...and that is not good. Maybe you need to just let go all together. He's probably never going to want to know your side of things..that's just like people who have hurt someone...never wanting to take responsibility for their actions. But good luck to you, sorry for what you are going through. thank u for responding. actually I feel GREAT!!! I know the game is to say I'm doing good or whatever but the truth was I was still hurt behind it and I don't regret letting him know my true feelings cause it wind up setting me free. Now I KNOW he aint going to call or text. He is gone for good and that's what needed to happen. I don't like that he tried to tell me how I should respond. I'm glad he is gone for good!!!! its like a light switched off for me. my ex would have used that friendly gesture to open dialogue that I'm not ready for so far as I'm concerned...it worked out. I'm not missing sht!
Author 9Lives Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 again I want to say again...today I felt amazing!!! I didn't think about him all day. I didn't feel heavy inside. I felt free for the first time in a long long time. I'm glad I told him exactly how I felt at the time. I wasn't feeling good..i wasn't glad he asked. I wasn't glad he texted me. I have experienced so much pain and anguish from this relationship. I let myself get too deep with a man who didn't deserve it and its partly my fault for getting so hung up. so I'm glad I finally stuck up for myself. I don't care that he didn't like my response and what's done is done. who cares what he expected me to say. I had some reasonable expectations during our rel that didn't get met so... its all good. I'm free!
Trovador Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Geez, he made it sound like he was doing you a favor when checking on you... Txs for sharing, somehow your story is helping me to understand their side of things... like why they check on us? Pity, ego, regret, love, etc?
Author 9Lives Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 I didn't like his attitude either. Truth is he was thinking and missing me. he wanted me to be over the situation so we could start talking again. he didn't like that the sht was still on my mind. he wanted me to be fine. I agree that you should stay NC and not give the ex anything but I'm tired of acting like I was fine when I really wasn't. now I feel like everything is out on the table. now he won't call me or text me. I like he was sitting in the cut knowing I still cared and he could come back if he wanted to. now the playing field is even. there was maybe a chance for him to come back but after he ignored me...it piss me off a lot. I wanted him to know that the woman that use to adored could care less now. that is the only reaon he responded. cause I said good bye. I never said good bye. it felt like we was on pause for some reason. now it seems like its over. I wanted this strength to let him know I'm done with you. DONE!
Trovador Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Yep, most of the time when they call it's just for talking, without feelings... and when we get emo they wonder what's wrong with us, like "wtf are not you over yet?" It hurts so much that it's funny... Good thing is that I am convinced that my ex is not worth my friendship, she is not in my leagues ha ha!
TLCbear Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 thank u for responding. actually I feel GREAT!!! I know the game is to say I'm doing good or whatever but the truth was I was still hurt behind it and I don't regret letting him know my true feelings cause it wind up setting me free. Now I KNOW he aint going to call or text. He is gone for good and that's what needed to happen. I don't like that he tried to tell me how I should respond. I'm glad he is gone for good!!!! its like a light switched off for me. my ex would have used that friendly gesture to open dialogue that I'm not ready for so far as I'm concerned...it worked out. I'm not missing sht! Glad to hear that! It concerned me to see you so upset in your dialog with the ex, but maybe you needed that. So congrats to you! I hope it really closure for you, but I doubt he'll truly stop contacting you. He'll be back, lol...mainly because he knows you haven't moved on. Let me know the update, I don't care if it's a year later, he he he.
Author 9Lives Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 TLCBear.really? why would he contact me again. He is the one who broke up with me initially. I didn't want to but I gave up after trying for a long time. now he has what he wanted. I'm gone.so why would he contact me? I thinks that crazy. I feel like he doesn't have the luxury of thinking I'm waiting for him. he needs to experience this lost as a real lost not a fallback spot. I like the position I'm in.
TLCbear Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 TLCBear.really? why would he contact me again. He is the one who broke up with me initially. I didn't want to but I gave up after trying for a long time. now he has what he wanted. I'm gone.so why would he contact me? I thinks that crazy. I feel like he doesn't have the luxury of thinking I'm waiting for him. he needs to experience this lost as a real lost not a fallback spot. I like the position I'm in. Most people fail to realize the main reason ex's contact them. It's not really to see how you're doing or wanting you back, it's to see whether or not you are over them or to see if they still have a foot in the door. If you are going on and on about how hurt and angry you are with him, he knows you are not over him. However, if it's just the opposite, he assumes you are over him and moving on with your life. When a person truly knows you are over them and have moved on, they will leave you alone. Some people love to poke at you when you're down, it rises their ego.
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