lechiffre Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Ladies - would like some honest advice please! I'm a 30 year old male who has never been in a proper relationship. I spent the majority of my adult life overweight (roughly 20kg) and as a result, had some very negative experience with women (fair enough I guess) and as a result, suffered from a huge lack of confidence and thus really didn't have much interest in the dating world. Still got on really well with girls from work and who are friends of mine, but dating wasn't an area of focus for me. Looking back, there were a couple of opportunities, but I generally either thought "nah that can't be right, why would she be interested in me" or was just too shy to do anything about it. As a result, I just removed myself from that scene completely and focused my life on progressing my career, buying my own apartment at 28 and doing a lot of travel. All of which was great! In the past 9 months have managed to turn my life around and lose a lot of weight (feeling much better) and as a result, have decided that it might be time to try the dating thing again. No expectations given I am now 30 and have always been prepared for the fact that I might very well be flying solo for the rest of my life. Obviously I am a bit more mature these days and have built up my confidence quite a lot. I have never had a problem dealing with girls before (outside of the dating world) and my sense of humour is definitely a strength. So, I joined up to a well known dating site and have been on a handful of dates recently. Tried to just "be me" given I am a very honest person and not into trying to be someone else (which I get the impression is how some people operate on dates). But whenever the question about relationship experience comes up, I am hitting some serious brick walls. I have just been honest with what happened. But girls just seem to think I am some sort of freak? Fair enough that I'm a bit different from other people, but it just seems a bit superficial? I know one should not give up on this as its not an easy thing to find a partner, but my gut feel is that I am pretty much wasting my time as most girls are not going to give me the chance to prove that I am a decent person and am actually interested in a long term relationship. Personally I don't want to know about people's past, and sure, I may not have had a whole string of dalliances over the years, but I am just getting the impression that people are judging you on that exact fact? Bottom line, trying to figure out whether I have in fact "missed the boat" or whether I am just running into the sorts of girls which are completely wrong for me! Would appreciate your honest advice as am really struggling with all of this! Many thanks.
krz12 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I can't really give you advice, but maybe you can give me some. I just turned 24, and I'm in the same boat (so to speak). Never had a serious relationship, just went on the first 2 dates of my life in the past couple weeks. " But whenever the question about relationship experience comes up, I am hitting some serious brick walls. I have just been honest with what happened. But girls just seem to think I am some sort of freak?" When are people bringing up relationship experience? Second date, third date?
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