enufdrama Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 many years ago i was bi curious, but i never really explored it and have decided that its something that is just a curiousity and it has no place in a relationship. my boyfriend has always stated in the past that he has no interest in this, so it's never been an issue. until this past weekend. we went out, we were drinking, this random girl latched on and was kind of flirty with me, next thing i know we are taking her and her male friend back to my house! i of course am not really sure how all this went down. but what i do know is i did nothing, thankfully. but the next day, i couldnt believe what stupid thing i had done by allowing this to happen. thanks to alcohol. but after a few talks with my boyfriend i realize that he had been entertaining the idea of a 3some with this girl and me. he said he can't get the idea out of his head now. and he keeps asking me "what if" questions and he is trying to feel out if this is even a possibility. he said he was curious about doing it that night, but scared of it so he brought her male friend to prevent anything from actually happening. what i am confused about is he has always acted like he had no desire to be with 2 women before, but now he is almost consumed with it. what's up with the change?
Cee Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Sounds like your boyfriend saw an attractive woman flirting with you & he liked what he saw. And now that he's sober, he's still intrigued with the idea and wants to discuss the possibility of doing something like that for real in the future. He wants to know if you're still bi-curious b/c he's tri-curious.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 my boyfriend... had been entertaining the idea of a 3some with this girl and me. he said he can't get the idea out of his head now. Drama, drama, drama... If yo are really true to your screen name, you will protest until your dying breath. Few relationships can remain stable and survive any sort of a "threesome". Don't do it!
xpaperxcutx Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Sounds like your boyfriend saw an attractive woman flirting with you & he liked what he saw. And now that he's sober, he's still intrigued with the idea and wants to discuss the possibility of doing something like that for real in the future. He wants to know if you're still bi-curious b/c he's tri-curious. And if his intentions are as stated, he'll jump on the wagon of having sex with another girl without changing the status quo of the current relationship. If you're both having sex with the same girl, it's not called cheating, is it?
daphne Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Personally, I would run in the opposite direction if my bf asked for it. Nothing good can come from it, except maybe a little excitement if your'e lucky. Don't expect the health of your relationship to be good if you do pursue it.
Author enufdrama Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Drama, drama, drama... If yo are really true to your screen name, you will protest until your dying breath. Few relationships can remain stable and survive any sort of a "threesome". Don't do it! i agree. in my younger years i was more curious. now i just want more of a healthier life. i've had enough drama. we've talked more about it today and he said that it's a fun thing to talk about, entertain the thought, but to do it would be poison in a relationship. we've agreed to never do anything like that. but my concern is, if you even entertain the idea. like flirt with it, in the bedroom, or when you are out aren't you keeping that possibility alive and won't it grow into actually doing it, when say you are drinking and your guard is down?
xpaperxcutx Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 i agree. in my younger years i was more curious. now i just want more of a healthier life. i've had enough drama. we've talked more about it today and he said that it's a fun thing to talk about, entertain the thought, but to do it would be poison in a relationship. we've agreed to never do anything like that. but my concern is, if you even entertain the idea. like flirt with it, in the bedroom, or when you are out aren't you keeping that possibility alive and won't it grow into actually doing it, when say you are drinking and your guard is down? Are you having trust issues? When you had the talk, you should have adamantly shot the idea down, giving him no perception that any amount of persuasion is going to convince you otherwise. Now if he decides to want a threesome and does do it outside of the relationship, then he's obviously not for you. Have a good faith in your bf, that is a reason why you are with him? If you hold this over his head forever, this relationship is already doomed. Please don't chastise him just because he decides to get drink in the future and thinks stupid things. That's like punishing him for a crime he hasn't committed yet.
Knittress Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Why? He's a dude. I think I heard somewhere that a threesome with two hots chicks is the top-rated dude fantasy. I'm not convinced that opening up a relationship is necessarily 'poison' or anything like that. Maybe most open relationships fail, but then again most RELATIONSHIPS fail. My two cents is that if you're curious this is the sort of thing that's easier to pull off when you're young, and even if it sucks you'll at least have something to remind yourself of your adventurousness when you're middle-aged and shuttling the kids to soccer practice. Maybe check out polyamory.com for etiquette and communication tips, or just to see how interesting human beings can be...
Something_Awesome Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Trust me, when he does have a threesome (if ever) he will conclude that it is nowhere near as good as a twosome. I think the sex is better for both parties when both can focus on eachother exclusively. Three is a crowd. My 2 cents
Trojan John Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Three can be good, provided all parties are open an honest about their intentions, wishes and feelings. It's fun while it lasts. If you're not into it, though, don't do it.
2sure Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Most men entertain the idea, and most men would not turn it down if offered. I wouldnt read much more into it than that. Simply tell him it is not an option and is not going to be an option...if it isnt. If he continues to bring it up tell him he is turning you off. That should indicate to you whether it is important to him or not. If that doesnt do it, ask him how he would feel if you requested a 3 some with him, you, and another guy. That usually does the trick.
Author enufdrama Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Most men entertain the idea, and most men would not turn it down if offered. I wouldnt read much more into it than that. Simply tell him it is not an option and is not going to be an option...if it isnt. If he continues to bring it up tell him he is turning you off. That should indicate to you whether it is important to him or not. If that doesnt do it, ask him how he would feel if you requested a 3 some with him, you, and another guy. That usually does the trick. I did that. i told him that I also had this fantasy and if we entertained the 2 girls fantasy, then we would entertain 2 guy fantasy. he said no way, he said he isn't sharing me with another guy and doesn't want to think that other men turn me on.
Author enufdrama Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Are you having trust issues? When you had the talk, you should have adamantly shot the idea down, giving him no perception that any amount of persuasion is going to convince you otherwise. Now if he decides to want a threesome and does do it outside of the relationship, then he's obviously not for you. Have a good faith in your bf, that is a reason why you are with him? If you hold this over his head forever, this relationship is already doomed. Please don't chastise him just because he decides to get drink in the future and thinks stupid things. That's like punishing him for a crime he hasn't committed yet. my concern is this. we had talked about this before and it was a big no for both of us in the past. but this weekend, i felt like i was drunk and he put me in a position for this to happen. he saw the girl flirting with me and entertained the idea and he also said that if a guy was flirting with me there was no way he would be coming home with us. he said that is why he brought the guy friend home too, because he knew that with him there a 3some with the girl was not going to happen. i have to tell you, a 3some was no where in my mind that night. but apparently it was in his to the point to where he brought her to my house. that is my worry. its ok to flirt with it at the bar, but bring it home with you when you both agreed no to it.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 If I loved someone dearly and it was returned, I wouldn't even think of endangering our relationship that way. It would be disturbing to even envision her sucking pussy or w/e. I'm not possessive but my love would be based on a trust in a single identity I could know and which has been shown to me time and again. Turning her out would shatter that and give ME an identity crisis to say nothing of her.
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