HeartOnSleeve Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Hi Everyone! I need some advice. I recently met a great guy online about a month ago. I'm not one to "need" the chase, but I have a feeling he is! So how does one "play hard to get"? It seems like a game to me, but I feel as though I should give it a go. I've done he obvious: not call/text him back straight away. Don't be too availiable, which is hard becuase I like him, and let him do a lot of the contacting. What else is there? We've already slept together and have a great connection. Help please...I like this guy! lol
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 For the love of God don't play games. This. Playing hard to get will send any respectable man running for the hills. I have done the same and will continue to run if a girl plays hard to get. And you've already slept with him? So you sleep with him and then want to play hard to get? You're not mature enough to be in a relationship.
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 Clearly, some of you are bitter. But in any case when I say play hard to get I don't mean play serious games and be a b*tch...I meant it more on a playful level. I am a pretty easy going 27 year only woman. I don't play "games" and most men know if I like them. I know that men like the "chase". So it's not always fun to have a girl that is at their beck and call. Hopefully this clarifies where I am coming from and everyone can be a little bit nicer. I just want to keep the playful chase alive a tad bit longer and was looking for fun responses
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Clearly, some of you are bitter. But in any case when I say play hard to get I don't mean play serious games and be a b*tch...I meant it more on a playful level. I am a pretty easy going 27 year only woman. I don't play "games" and most men know if I like them. I know that men like the "chase". So it's not always fun to have a girl that is at their beck and call. Hopefully this clarifies where I am coming from and everyone can be a little bit nicer. I just want to keep the playful chase alive a tad bit longer and was looking for fun responses You have balls. You're the one that created this thread and because you're not getting the responses you want, you result to personal attacks. And once again, you're mistaken. Men do not like the chase. If you want to be taken seriously, you don't play hard to get, playful or otherwise.
waynebrady Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Alot of men absolutley hate it when women play hard to get. If a woman played hard to get with me I would move on quite fast. Women who are that immature that they play games are not relationship material. Two guys have already expressed in this thread that they do not like when women play hard to get. Now with me there's three. Playing hard to get is something that women enjoy, most men do not like it when women play hard to get. The only reason it might work is because you give the man no option but to chase you and put up with all your hard to get bull**** if he wants you.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I don't know. How does one actually play hard to get when they're already " given it up"? A guy chases a woman because he finds her hot, the ultimate goal being getting her in bed. That's the homerun. First, second and third base are merely the obstacles to getting that score. If you already threw him the ball for that homerun, why would you think he would want to run back to third base when he'd already stole home base?
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 The only reason it might work is because you give the man no option but to chase you and put up with all your hard to get bull**** if he wants you. It only works if the man has no other options. I do have other options. Therefore, if a girl plays hard to get, I take off faster than Usain Bolt.
BentSpine Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I know that men like the ''chase''.Wrong. Some men may enjoy the chase, but their prevalence is probably comparable to women that value the fatness of a man's wallet above all his other qualities.
DollWelch Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 HeartOnSleeve - Question: Are you two exclusive -i.e. Does he genuinely want a relationship with you? If you don't know the answer to that question, ask him. The situation is, if you want to keep him, cease the mind games. Whilst you are at it, be more mature. Otherwise, it is game over. No offence to you, it's just a thought/idea. I'm just telling you how it is.
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 No doubt I made this thread, but if you are accusing me of doing the attacking...all THREE of you should probably read you posts (mainly directed at MadMen) I made the post because I was curious and really did want more cute, fun, and real answers. So what you are all saying is you want a girl that girls you every day, is always available, and tells you all the time that she wants you...yada yada yada. No work involved at all?? Why is that most men end of with b*tches and get bored with all the nice girls? Kind of like the "nice guys finish last". Excuse me? Who are you to come off to say that we do the attacking, especially me? No one attacked you. YOU called us bitter because you didn't like the input you received. If you want a decent man, you don't play hard to get. It really doesn't get any simpler than that. So when a man plays hard to get with you, you would probably complain about that. There is no reason for men to put in any more work than we have to. You play hard to get, you will drive away all the good men. It's a very simple concept.
BackUpOrGetStung Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Wow HoS, you are dense. First, Mad Max has not made a single personal attack on you yet. Second, you're trying to say that just because a girl isn't flaky and ambiguous, they want a doormat. What most men really want, is someone that's dependable and they can grow with. Now, I'm going to attack you. Your posts read like that of a high schooler and your maturity level seems to be right there too. " I was curious and really did want more cute, fun, and real answers." Your panties are all in a wad, because all you got was real answers. Haha, I feel bad for you. Men want a woman that IS hard to get, not a girl that plays it.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 No doubt I made this thread, but if you are accusing me of doing the attacking...all THREE of you should probably read you posts (mainly directed at MadMen) I made the post because I was curious and really did want more cute, fun, and real answers. So what you are all saying is you want a girl that girls you every day, is always available, and tells you all the time that she wants you...yada yada yada. No work involved at all?? Why is that most men end of with b*tches and get bored with all the nice girls? Kind of like the "nice guys finish last". Umm... I'm a girl and even I know playing hard to get is difficult especially if you had sex. If what you meant was leveling the playing field so that you don't come across as desperate, then be a " bitch". First of all, do you even know if this guy is a player? How many times have you guys dated? Honestly, I just follow this saying- never make a guy a priority until he has made you one.
xpaperxcutx Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Wow HoS, you are dense. First, Mad Max has not made a single personal attack on you yet. Second, you're trying to say that just because a girl isn't flaky and ambiguous, they want a doormat. What most men really want, is someone that's dependable and they can grow with. Now, I'm going to attack you. Your posts read like that of a high schooler and your maturity level seems to be right there too. " I was curious and really did want more cute, fun, and real answers." Your panties are all in a wad, because all you got was real answers. Haha, I feel bad for you. Men want a woman that IS hard to get, not a girl that plays it. Emphasis on that!
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 And you've already slept with him? So you sleep with him and then want to play hard to get? You're not mature enough to be in a relationship. Pretty sure telling me I’m not mature enough to be in a relationship is a personal attack but so be it. Sorry MadMen if you felt offended by any of my comments. Why don't you try giving me real advise then, instead of criticizing my question to start. What do you suggest I do, other than not play games? I'm willing to listen.
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 Wow HoS, you are dense. First, Mad Max has not made a single personal attack on you yet. Second, you're trying to say that just because a girl isn't flaky and ambiguous, they want a doormat. What most men really want, is someone that's dependable and they can grow with. Now, I'm going to attack you. Your posts read like that of a high schooler and your maturity level seems to be right there too. " I was curious and really did want more cute, fun, and real answers." Your panties are all in a wad, because all you got was real answers. Haha, I feel bad for you. Men want a woman that IS hard to get, not a girl that plays it. You claim that I write like a highschooler?! Check yourself buddy. I think MadMax can handle himself. You just sunk down to the level that you think I am at...."Now, I'm going to attack you"...really. GROW UP! On that note. Thank you for you input, I did think that what you said "Men want a woman that IS hard to get, not a girl that plays it." is a valid point. And if you read my original post you would see that playing games is not really my thing. Hense I came on here, NOT to get attacked, but thought I would get reasonable awnsers from normal people. Everyone seems pissed off about something. As I said to MadMax...I am open to suggestions as to what you think I should do a this point rather than what I SHOULDN't do.
yoga18 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Excuse me? Who are you to come off to say that we do the attacking, especially me? No one attacked you. YOU called us bitter because you didn't like the input you received. If you want a decent man, you don't play hard to get. It really doesn't get any simpler than that. So when a man plays hard to get with you, you would probably complain about that. There is no reason for men to put in any more work than we have to. You play hard to get, you will drive away all the good men. It's a very simple concept. Agreed I don't like games but I have to say I feel that most men I have met do play games and they play them well. I think what op may have meant is that she doesn't want to come off as needy or over excited or desperate. I have seen plenty of men get totally turned off by woman who are genuinely excited to hang out, call often/text. It seems to turn them off. I really don't like games but I try to play it cool like I'm not crazy excited....it might scare some people off so I think what she might be trying to say is how do I play it cool without looking like I'm a crazy nut falling for a fun guy???? What do you think Mad Max about what I've said. I'm sorry I wouldn't call it games but I have to tell you my first date with my boyfriend....it went so well I would have married him that night! However, I played it as cool as I could it was so hard. All I thought about is I want to kiss this man but I played it cool....brings back memories lol
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 You claim that I write like a highschooler?! Check yourself buddy. I think MadMax can handle himself. You just sunk down to the level that you think I am at...."Now, I'm going to attack you"...really. GROW UP! On that note. Thank you for you input, I did think that what you said "Men want a woman that IS hard to get, not a girl that plays it." is a valid point. And if you read my original post you would see that playing games is not really my thing. Hense I came on here, NOT to get attacked, but thought I would get reasonable awnsers from normal people. Everyone seems pissed off about something. As I said to MadMax...I am open to suggestions as to what you think I should do a this point rather than what I SHOULDN't do. The thread title seems to indicate otherwise.
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Agreed I don't like games but I have to say I feel that most men I have met do play games and they play them well. I think what op may have meant is that she doesn't want to come off as needy or over excited or desperate. I have seen plenty of men get totally turned off by woman who are genuinely excited to hang out, call often/text. It seems to turn them off. I really don't like games but I try to play it cool like I'm not crazy excited....it might scare some people off so I think what she might be trying to say is how do I play it cool without looking like I'm a crazy nut falling for a fun guy???? What do you think Mad Max about what I've said. I'm sorry I wouldn't call it games but I have to tell you my first date with my boyfriend....it went so well I would have married him that night! However, I played it as cool as I could it was so hard. All I thought about is I want to kiss this man but I played it cool....brings back memories lol I would say that you're meeting the same type of men. Most men are not like that. Quality men are not turned off by eager women. Eager and desperate are NOT the same.
BackUpOrGetStung Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Just be yourself, rather than "doing something that's not really your thing".
Author HeartOnSleeve Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 Thanks MadMax! I'll keep that in mind. ***Truce*** Sorry to the men I "attacked" here. No hard feelings.
Star Gazer Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Thanks MadMax! I'll keep that in mind. ***Truce*** Sorry to the men I "attacked" here. No hard feelings. Don't worry about it. You didn't attack anyone. The ones who flip out are just defensive (because part of them knows it's true). As for playing hard to get, don't PLAY hard to get. BE hard to get by being your awesome, busy, social, I-have-a-life-outside-my-relationship gal.
somedude81 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I would say that you're meeting the same type of men. Most men are not like that. Quality men are not turned off by eager women. Eager and desperate are NOT the same. Pretty much it. Not being needy and desperate does not equal playing hard to get. HeartOnSleeve, you need to find the balance. Also don't be too hard to get, it's annoying. If he invites you to something don't say no just because you think it makes him want you more.
yoga18 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I would say that you're meeting the same type of men. Most men are not like that. Quality men are not turned off by eager women. Eager and desperate are NOT the same. I believe there can be a fine line between eager and desperate. For instance when I met my guy I wanted to spend ever second with him, I really just wanted to be in his presence....that could be mistaken for being desperate. The men I have met have all been very different. I say this because I've never been asked out by a guy....) Yes that's right you read correctly. My ex said it cause I look unapproachable and bitchy. Neither of which I am but I've met many different men not all the same
Surrealist Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I dont like game playing so I guess that is another addition, and no its not bitterness it's the inherent ambiguity and the fact that I don't chase regardless of options. This. Playing hard to get will send any respectable man running for the hills. I have done the same and will continue to run if a girl plays hard to get. That there is the key - any respectable man.
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