Pigyy Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 (edited) Here's the situation... I’ve been married for 9 years, been with her since we were 16 (I’m 36 now). We have 2 kids. The love hasn’t exactly been there for a while now and over the years I’ve cheated a few times and felt very guilty, this time its serious and I dont feel guilty at all?? I do love her but I don’t feel any passion anymore and I’m not attracted to her anymore, I guess its more if a friendship love now... after all Ive been with her for over half my life. In the summer we were away with some friends, well not really friends, just acquaintances. One night me and the other women were up late, sitting outside by the fire. We were both quite drunk and somehow we started talking about our feelings for each other. Turns out we were both very attracted to each other, it ended that night with a kiss. The next night we fooled around a lot. The weekend ended and we started meeting each other during the day at home. It was just sex, and really good sex. Then a month later and we're at the same place again, this time I’m alone as the family stayed home. We ended up getting together each night despite her husband being nearby. One night be both layed there in each other’s arms and it just happened... All of a sudden it wasn’t just sex anymore... we both looked into each other’s eyes and we both knew it... there was far more than just sex/lust here. This was, dare I say it.. starting to feel like love. The weekend ended and we had to go our separate ways. When I drove off for the 5 hour ride home I was sadder then I’ve ever been in my life, I had to pull over several times as I broke down, she felt the same way. Since then we've been in contact several times a day and have met on many occasions. Her marriage is over, it has been for some time. I don’t know what to do, I think I love her, I miss her every second and I just want to hold her. I can’t get her out of my mind and I’m depressed when I’m away from her. If there wasn’t kids involved this would be an easy thing to do but its killing me. I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially not my kids but how long can I keep feeling this way and still live a productive life. I don’t understand how this happened so fast.. it was literally hours. I’ve told her we have to cool it down but I still can't stop... its torture when we can’t see each other for a few days. At home I’m depressed, moody and I don’t want to be there. My wife suspects something is going on but she has no idea it could be this, with this women. I know there is no easy answer, either way people will be hurt, myself, my wife, the kids, the other women. I hate that this happened but love that it did as well... I’m confused and torn. What do I do??? Edited October 18, 2010 by Pigyy
alexandria35 Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Can you elaborate some more on your marriage? You say you cheated on your wife before. Did she ever find out? Why do you think you are not attracted to your wife anymore? Her marriage is over, it has been for some time. I don’t know what to do, I think I love her, I miss her every second and I just want to hold her. I can’t get her out of my mind and I’m depressed when I’m away from her. Gotta laugh at you saying her marriage is over. A marriage is over when the couple divorices. Or is at the least seperated for a good while. Why don't you go give her husband your condolences on his marriage being over? See how he reacts to that news.
ilovelife75 Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 You're not in love with this woman, you are in love with the feeling, the high you get from the newness, the lust, the passion, the fire, the flame, the feeling of being wanted by someone. You have cheated "a few times" and now this one too. Your wife needs to know about this. That hot, steamy animal lust passion really only lives about 2 years in any given relationship under normal circumstances. You got bored with your life, your responsibilities, the mundane in and outs of daily life. You need to be checked for any STD's, and your wife needs to be checked, too. How would it make you feel to know you have given her a life threatening disease?? I have a friend who is dying now because her husband had an affair. Not just sick, but dying. From this STD he got from sleeping with another woman and then sleeping with his wife. This wonderful, unsuspecting mother of two children, this woman who does so much for the community and practically does everything for this husband of hers, is now losing her battle with her life because of his self fishness. This is the issue in your life. You need to be honest with your wife and tell her the truth, so she can make the choice for her, the choice you have stolen from her over the past 20 years of your lives together. Because honestly, you haven't had a life with her, you have had what you wanted while she has been stuck with you, living a fake life. I mean this in all sincerity and gentleness. I am not calling you out to insult you or to hurt your feelings.
on a learning curve Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 What do you do? You are a 36 yr old married man with children. Don't be so selfish. Examine the reasons for why you no longer desire your wife, and gently explain them. You are acting like a tool.
bentnotbroken Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 What do you do? You are a 36 yr old married man with children. Don't be so selfish. Examine the reasons for why you no longer desire your wife, and gently explain them. You are acting like a tool. :lmao::lmao: Sounds like something I would say. Maybe your wife needs the same options you have. Let her go find a guy who gets her off better than you might, then let's see if she desires you any longer.
2sunny Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I don’t understand how this happened so fast.. it was literally hours. I’ve told her we have to cool it down but I still can't stop... its torture when we can’t see each other for a few days. sure you do. it happens when you focus your time and energy on another woman. the time and energy you are stealing from your wife and kids has now been placed on another woman. best thing? tell your wife she didn't marry the man she thought she did - that you have cheated and that she deserves more. that would be an honest start.
on a learning curve Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 :lmao::lmao: Sounds like something I would say. Maybe your wife needs the same options you have. Let her go find a guy who gets her off better than you might, then let's see if she desires you any longer. Seriously, my goodness... OP-Ever thought of talking to your wife? She may have similar feelings. Don't be a jackass.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 (edited) Here's the situation... I’ve been married for 9 years, been with her since we were 16 (I’m 36 now). We have 2 kids. The love hasn’t exactly been there for a while now and over the years I’ve cheated a few times and felt very guilty, this time its serious and I dont feel guilty at all?? I do love her but I don’t feel any passion anymore and I’m not attracted to her anymore, I guess its more if a friendship love now... after all Ive been with her for over half my life. did it ever occur to you that its way to difficult to have passion with a serial cheater as yourself? you aren't there for her emotionally because you'd rather be banging other women....so of course there is no passion there. In the summer we were away with some friends, well not really friends, just acquaintances. One night me and the other women were up late, sitting outside by the fire. We were both quite drunk and somehow we started talking about our feelings for each other. Turns out we were both very attracted to each other, it ended that night with a kiss. The next night we fooled around a lot. The weekend ended and we started meeting each other during the day at home. It was just sex, and really good sex. geez, you could have at least had the decency to not bring this "woman" into the marital home/bed, whatever. talk about blatant disrespect. Her marriage is over, it has been for some time. I don’t know what to do, you know exactly what to do. set your poor wife free from you so no more of her short time on this planet is wasted. she could be out there searching for a decent man in the time it takes you to make up your mind. I think I love her, I miss her every second and I just want to hold her. until the next pretty face shows you some attention I don’t understand how this happened so fast bs buddy. you have cheated on her for the longest time with different women, and you wonder how this could happen "so fast"? please don't bs us as if you are somehow helpless and don't have any control over your actions. I know there is no easy answer, either way people will be hurt, myself, my wife, the kids, the other women. I hate that this happened but love that it did as well... I’m confused and torn. What do I do??? file for divorce and set your wife free. do not use the kids as an excuse, otherwise all you will do is stay in the marriage, hold your wife hostage, and make everyone miserable. your wife shouldn't have to waste her life because of your choices. Edited October 19, 2010 by Dexter Morgan
Author Pigyy Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Some pretty blunt responses here, to be honest some of you come across as bitter divorcies... not that what you're saying isnt true, its just blunt... Anyway... Can you elaborate some more on your marriage? You say you cheated on your wife before. Did she ever find out? Why do you think you are not attracted to your wife anymore? Gotta laugh at you saying her marriage is over. A marriage is over when the couple divorices. Or is at the least seperated for a good while. Why don't you go give her husband your condolences on his marriage being over? See how he reacts to that news. We both cheated on each other, long ago before we were married, not that it makes a difference but she actually cheated on me first and yes both were found out. Im not attracted to her anymore because she has become lazy, overweight and trying to get anything resembling love making is like trying to get water from stone. There is sex once in a while but its very mechanical, more like "I guess you should service you tonight?"... wow, that really does it for me.... You can laugh at me saying her marriage is over but its the truth and the other side knows, she told him to his face long ago. He has two sides to him, the one he portrays to friends and the one behind closed doors, there had been abuse in the past, he controls her and basically holds her prisoner.
Author Pigyy Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 You're not in love with this woman, you are in love with the feeling, the high you get from the newness, the lust, the passion, the fire, the flame, the feeling of being wanted by someone. You have cheated "a few times" and now this one too. Your wife needs to know about this. That hot, steamy animal lust passion really only lives about 2 years in any given relationship under normal circumstances. You got bored with your life, your responsibilities, the mundane in and outs of daily life. You need to be checked for any STD's, and your wife needs to be checked, too. How would it make you feel to know you have given her a life threatening disease?? I have a friend who is dying now because her husband had an affair. Not just sick, but dying. From this STD he got from sleeping with another woman and then sleeping with his wife. This wonderful, unsuspecting mother of two children, this woman who does so much for the community and practically does everything for this husband of hers, is now losing her battle with her life because of his self fishness. This is the issue in your life. You need to be honest with your wife and tell her the truth, so she can make the choice for her, the choice you have stolen from her over the past 20 years of your lives together. Because honestly, you haven't had a life with her, you have had what you wanted while she has been stuck with you, living a fake life. I mean this in all sincerity and gentleness. I am not calling you out to insult you or to hurt your feelings. I have been checked for STD's so you need not worry there, Yes Im being selfish but I would never endanger someones life... Ever heard of condoms... I have. I do agree with you on the lust part and yes I realize that lust only last so long in any relationship however the lust I feel now was never ever anything close to what I felt with my wife. Its 100x stronger which makes me think, did we ever love each other or was it just comfortable? :lmao::lmao: Sounds like something I would say. Maybe your wife needs the same options you have. Let her go find a guy who gets her off better than you might, then let's see if she desires you any longer. I would actually be happy if this were the case, sadly I do not think it is but then who knows. She has, as far as I can tell, zero desire for sex these days... at least with me. Part of me wishes she was cheating as well. did it ever occur to you that its way to difficult to have passion with a serial cheater as yourself? you aren't there for her emotionally because you'd rather be banging other women....so of course there is no passion there. Sorry if you misunderstood me but where did I say Im a serial cheater? I said I have cheated in the past, we both did, before we were married. I said it above, not that it matters, but she did this first, with me asleep in the other room on a very special day, with one of my friends. I only found out 6 months later from someone else and it crushed me. So what did I do... I went out and did the same thing. Once that happens you lose the trust forever. We probably shouldnt have even gotten married but we did... geez, you could have at least had the decency to not bring this "woman" into the marital home/bed, whatever. talk about blatant disrespect. Wow... you must be reading another post or just trolling, I have never brought her into my marital home/bed... please show me where I said that!!! you know exactly what to do. set your poor wife free from you so no more of her short time on this planet is wasted. she could be out there searching for a decent man in the time it takes you to make up your mind. until the next pretty face shows you some attention bs buddy. you have cheated on her for the longest time with different women, and you wonder how this could happen "so fast"? please don't bs us as if you are somehow helpless and don't have any control over your actions. file for divorce and set your wife free. do not use the kids as an excuse, otherwise all you will do is stay in the marriage, hold your wife hostage, and make everyone miserable. your wife shouldn't have to waste her life because of your choices . Please dont bother responding if you have nothing to add but holier then thou BS. You are trolling here, I think you better read the sticky like I did and decide if what you're saying is helping in any way other then making yourself feel "better" then me.
greengoddess Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Some pretty blunt responses here, to be honest some of you come across as bitter divorcies... not that what you're saying isnt true, its just blunt... Anyway... We both cheated on each other, long ago before we were married, not that it makes a difference but she actually cheated on me first and yes both were found out. . :laugh:Are you really using her having cheated on you FIRST as an excuse as being a cheater? Um hon, you married her after the fact. That means you forgave it. Tell her the truth. Don't waste your life unhappy or waste hers. Please don't use the excuse that she cheated first before marriage tough. Take some responsibility.
Author Pigyy Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 I dont know what to say, I thought I could speak to people in the same sort of situations like myself. I had hoped to to discuss this, not be berated for what I did. I think only 2 people actually did this while the rest of you just vented on me for obviously similiar situations you've experienced and are obviously still bitter. Perhaps I should just tell her how Im feeling, at least that way we can dicuss the why's and what's of this and if its mutual. Just the other day she suggested that maybe I need to be by myself for a while... Its ****ing sucks and if I came across as 100% happy about what happened then thats my fault because Im not. To those of you that helped with constructive posts, thank you, anything else you can add would be appreciated. To those that simply berated me... have a nice perfect life...
TigerCub Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Pigyy, this is how I see it... You're obviously not happy with your wife. You have cheated on her before, but never felt the emotional connection you do now with this new woman. So its making you wonder if THIS case is more special. Truth is...at the end of the day, even if you left your wife and went with this OW, would you really be able to trust her not to cheat on you? I'm mainly asking this because you said - in reference to you and your W cheating on each other, you said "after that happens, the trust is gone" (or something to that effect) so would you trust this OW, if you were to be with her? That's def. something to think about. You also said that you and W cheated before, but then you got married, and maybe you shouldn't have. Honestly, that doesn't matter, you still got married, and you must have loved her enough to want to have kids with her. You have kids (and I can tell that this is really something that concerns you because you sincerely don't want to cause them pain) so...if you're really thinking about your kids: - talk to you W about some of the issues you're having in the M (not about the cheating), but about what's missing. -Stop cheating on your w -Attend MC with the W and then if none of that stuff helps, maybe it would be best to get a divorce, and have shared custody. But its not fair to anyone, if you just claim to love you kids and care about what happens to them, and then you're lying to and playin their mom. That's eventually gonna come and cause everyone so much pain. I wish you the best. I do think, that you at least should give it a good shot at trying to fix what's broken in the M (since there are kids). But if after a good honest effort, it can't be fixed, then it time for a D.
greengoddess Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Pigyy what is it you want to hear? You know what you need to do. You know cheating is not the answer and is only hurtful to everyone involved. It's hurtful to you, your wife, your ow and her husband and it will be especially hurtful to your kids if they find out. You are no willing to leave this woman. You only have one real option then. Stop cheating, leave your wife and have an amicable split without the cheating being found out and then you can persue her. You know this though so I don't understand what it is you want people to say to you.
2sure Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Here's the situation... I’ve been married for 9 years, been with her since we were 16 (I’m 36 now). We have 2 kids. The love hasn’t exactly been there for a while now and over the years I’ve cheated a few times and felt very guilty, this time its serious and I dont feel guilty at all?? I do love her but I don’t feel any passion anymore and I’m not attracted to her anymore, I guess its more if a friendship love now... after all Ive been with her for over half my life. You love your wife and kids but have been cheating on her for some time. You feel the passion is gone. Was it the lack of passion that led you to cheat the other times? How long have you been cheating? If there wasn’t kids involved this would be an easy thing to do but its killing me. I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially not my kids but how long can I keep feeling this way and still live a productive life. Divorce is always difficult but most families get through it successfully. If your wife found out about your current affair would she divorce you? You are taking an awful lot of risks involving the well being of your children. At home I’m depressed, moody and I don’t want to be there. My wife suspects something is going on but she has no idea it could be this, with this women. So your homelife is already a mess. How is that not hurting your children? If you love your wife at all, even as a person or a friend...dont you think she should be given the opportunity to make her own life choices based not on suspicion and stress but on reality?
dreamingoftigers Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Wow, just wow. So basically you are saying the love is dea between you and your wife, well since she isn't here to talk about it: what have you done to encourage love from her? See most of us on here that have been kicking around have tried to save our relationships before settling for unsavory behaviour. Cheating is unsavory. I think what you are really trying to ask is if you can justify this behaviour to yourself and not have it affect your family in a negative way. Can you find a way to have your cheating fantasy and not have it affect your kids? The answer is no. If you are going to up and leave your wife, your kids will suffer. If you stay with this cheating bs or even if you don't your wife will probably find out anyways (things like that don't stay a secret forever) and then it will affect your marriage and kids, your kids probably have a pretty good idea of what is going on anyways, kids are like that. Your OW's marriage is not over, that is laughable. Do you know how many dysfunctional fights I have had with my husband where one or both of us have said it is over. Then we try again. If it was over, it would be over, they aren't just having an extended sleepover. Just because you felt an amazing connection to this woman does not mean the universe aligned so that you could be together. It means that you slept with her and now feel some emotional attachment to her because of the hormones coarsing through your veins. It won't last. And it won't last because life gets in the way of impulsive hormone blasts. You are a cheater getting together with a cheater. It can't last. Both of you going through divorces would slaughter this relationship. Of course you want your wife cheating as well it would justify what you have done. Your wife being lazy and overweight etc. does not stack up against you having cheated after marriage. Btw, cheating more than once makes you a serial cheater. Try to examine why you let your home life get so crappy so that you could try to justify cheating to yourself. Whether or not your marriage survives. It doesn't sound like your wife is very happy either. I am quite certain that if you put half of the energy and effort that you put into your cheating that your marriage would be a much happier place. You are supposed to have the role of protecting your spouse, not causing her great harm. Cheating is incredible harmful and traumatic and sorry to tell you but if you are not intelligent enough to figure out that this "new fling" is unstable at best, you probably cannot hide things from your wife. Your moodiness alone will out you. It isn't meant to sound insulting but you probably need to hear some harder angles.
bentnotbroken Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I dont know what to say, I thought I could speak to people in the same sort of situations like myself. I had hoped to to discuss this, not be berated for what I did. I think only 2 people actually did this while the rest of you just vented on me for obviously similiar situations you've experienced and are obviously still bitter. Perhaps I should just tell her how Im feeling, at least that way we can dicuss the why's and what's of this and if its mutual. Just the other day she suggested that maybe I need to be by myself for a while... Its ****ing sucks and if I came across as 100% happy about what happened then thats my fault because Im not. To those of you that helped with constructive posts, thank you, anything else you can add would be appreciated. To those that simply berated me... have a nice perfect life... Chi ching. How many posts did he take to get the the "B" word? Obviously someone who thought they were going to be patted on the head with a wink and a nod. Constructive is for someone who wants to build something, you want to tear something apart. So what you got were comments from all sides of the triangle.
dreamingoftigers Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Some pretty blunt responses here, to be honest some of you come across as bitter divorcies... not that what you're saying isnt true, its just blunt... Anyway... We both cheated on each other, long ago before we were married, not that it makes a difference but she actually cheated on me first and yes both were found out. Im not attracted to her anymore because she has become lazy, overweight and trying to get anything resembling love making is like trying to get water from stone. There is sex once in a while but its very mechanical, more like "I guess you should service you tonight?"... wow, that really does it for me.... Was it always like this? If not, find out what you are doing differently with her. Provide some of the stimuation that used to be there. Women don't tend to put much effort into the performance if they don't feel attractive or appreciated and it sounds like you don't do either for her. Sounds like it doesn't do it for her either. You can laugh at me saying her marriage is over but its the truth and the other side knows, she told him to his face long ago. He has two sides to him, the one he portrays to friends and the one behind closed doors, there had been abuse in the past, he controls her and basically holds her prisoner. So basically you get to feel like the White Knight, giving her love when her abusive husband tries to lock her away in the dungeon. if she really wanted to go, she would have found a way by now. This is probably her way to justify the cheating. Apparently that prison isn't guarded anywhere near what she claims if she can get out and cheat on him.
2sure Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Of course you should talk with your wife. If you are unable to talk with her honestly right away..the best thing for both of you and for the children would be to "take a break" for awhile. Separate. That distance alone will get all involved accustomed to the logistics of living apart, used to dealing with reality - its hard sometimes but that does not make it unnecessary. Because you do have love and respect for your wife ..eventually you are going to have to be honest with her. But with the separation in place, she at least will not be shocked to hear it. As a BS who has divorced..I can tell you - his cheating was not the hard part, another woman can be gotten over...its the betrayal of the lies and the length of time. As difficult & painful as this process may be for you...you have do make the changes. No one else can, especially since the affairs have been a secret.
Dexter Morgan Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Some pretty blunt responses here, to be honest some of you come across as bitter divorcies and if any of us were bitter, I suppose you could blame us after being dealt the crappy hand at the hands of people like yourself? but hey, just another of the old "you're bitter" response....as if that is suppose to get our goats or something. Being called bitter by someone that would callously hurt other people is a compliment:) Im not attracted to her anymore because she has become lazy, overweight and trying to get anything resembling love making is like trying to get water from stone. There is sex once in a while but its very mechanical, more like "I guess you should service you tonight?"... wow, that really does it for me.... ok, so she is lazy and overweight and you are blaming her for your cheating. so get a divorce and go find that perfect little hot body out there for ya He has two sides to him, the one he portrays to friends and the one behind closed doors, there had been abuse in the past, he controls her and basically holds her prisoner. not that it would make it right, but couldn't have anything at all to do with the fact that she is an untrusworthy cheat could it?
Dexter Morgan Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Sorry if you misunderstood me but where did I say Im a serial cheater? you won't admit you are, but here is what you said: "over the years I’ve cheated a few times " over a period of time you have cheated more than once...that makes you a serial cheater in my book. I said I have cheated in the past not just once, but a few times:o Wow... you must be reading another post or just trolling, I have never brought her into my marital home/bed... please show me where I said that!!! "The weekend ended and we started meeting each other during the day at home" Please dont bother responding if you have nothing to add but holier then thou BS. sorry to burst your bubble, but there is nothing holier than thou about telling you to spare your wife and quit wasting her time. what are you waiting for, you said it yourself, she is overweight and lazy(your words, not mine). obviously you have disdain for her, so why prolong her suffering any further? You are trolling here, I think you better read the sticky like I did and decide if what you're saying is helping in any way other then making yourself feel "better" then me. well lets see, I've never cheated, and never slept with someone elses wife...never will. so as far as "better", well...... simple fact, you are disrespecting your wife, you insult her to us on this forum, its obvious you don't want to have sex with her and blame your cheating on her. So if you want to call it trolling that I am telling you to d oright by her and get a divorce, so be it. I can't think of one reason that you should still be married to her given your lousy attitude towards her. and I'm the troll:rolleyes:
Dexter Morgan Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 To those that simply berated me... have a nice perfect life... I sleep very well at night knowing I don't go out and hurt others in real life. so thanks, I'll have that nice perfect life
alexandria35 Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 OP sorry you didn't get the response you were looking for here. You could try posting over in the OW/OM forum since technically you are both a MM and an OM. I don't know that you would get much sympathy from there either, because while there may some differences of opinion between the two boards I think for the most part both boards agree that it is unacceptable to continue cheating and not make a decision one way or the other. Dexter is right in that you do seem to be contradicting your initial post. You did say that you have cheated a few times and you did say that you and your affair partner have been meeting at home. So why get pissed at people for responding to what you said? If the posters here seem harsh it's probably because they have heard it all before. There is nothing unique and special about your affair, it's just another cheating story as told by the cheater. You have rose colored glasses on concerning your OW. The story she gives you is also the same that most cheating MW tell. The abused and controlled part stands out because it doesn't add up. I've been in a abusive controlling relationship and I would have never had the gumption to cheat on him while he was sleeping nearby. So you wish your wife was cheating on you? If she was I can bet you she would be telling the same stories about you that your MW tells about her husband. I stand by what I said before about her marriage not being anywhere near over. Sure she may have said it to him once long ago but she is still there. Actions speak louder than words. If you went to work one day and told them you were quitting but continued to show up there for work everyday for years after, would you be surprised to find out that your employer kind of thinks you still work there? If you and the woman you are cheating with are both so mistreated by your terrible spouses then I don't see what the problem is. Just dump your spouses and get together with each other.
stuckinoz Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I don’t understand how this happened so fast.. it was literally hours. I’ve told her we have to cool it down but I still can't stop its torture when we can’t see each other for a few days. ...You can't stop because it's an adrenaline rush!! What do I do??? You sound miserable in your post - so I'm not going to berate you here besides that I've no room to talk. (cheated myself) If this is REALLY how you feel At home I’m depressed, moody ~ I hate that this happened but love that it did as well... I’m confused and torn then it seems to me are only 3 answers to your question. 1. You leave your wife. Many have done this & have lived to tell about it. 2. Leave the other woman & get on with trying to mend what's left of your marriage. If you think it can be mended at all. 3. Leave the other woman & Leave your wife & look into finding yourself & what it is you want out of life. You just need to figure out which one is the right answer for you. Sorry there's no cut & dry answer to your question since we here in LS don't know the ins & outs of your everyday life BTW: Fence sitting on your decision....NEVER A GOOD IDEA only leads to a chapped @ss!!
Dexter Morgan Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Dexter is right in that you do seem to be contradicting your initial post. You did say that you have cheated a few times and you did say that you and your affair partner have been meeting at home. So why get pissed at people for responding to what you said? . no kidding. I couldn't believe I had to repost his own words.
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