AD1980 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 (edited) I got advice from someone on here to hit on girls im not normally attracted to because it would be easier but they showed no interest in me either... My thinking is if im gonna get rejected anyway i might as well go after girls im attracted to rather then try to go out of my way to woo girls im not attracted to because they might be easier to get.. Do people really put that much thought into league or numbers when approaching? Do you say he or she is cute but he or shes a 7 and im a 5 so theyre too good looking for me? To me most people the streets are average or slightly below or above rarely do you see someone so hideous or stunning that you fele you dont belong with them so its not that easy to say ok i have no shot with this person i shouldnt approach or this persons mediocre looking im medicore looking im gonna give it a go.. How much thought do you put into the others persons attractiveness level compared to your own when approaching? To me its a very hard and subjective thing to do and you should just approach people your attracted to Edited October 18, 2010 by AD1980
carhill Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Personally, it's (some psuedo-objective scale of beauty) not on my mind when approaching, but a lot more on my mind when being approached/showed interest and attention, simply due to long life experience. When I get that 'kind' of attention from an otherwise very attractive woman, my first honest thought is 'what does she want?' and life experience has shown me that it hasn't been me, the person. Perhaps that's an unhealthy perspective, but it is an honest one, and one based on unanimous experiences with such women. I'm sure women could share similar experiences with, perspectives on and effects of their interactions with men. Life goes on Personally, I'm not a 'league' person, rather a 'rugged individualist'. Never was much good at team sports.
EyeAlone Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 My thinking is if im gonna get rejected anyway i might as well go after girls im attracted to rather then try to go out of my way to woo girls im not attracted to because they might be easier to get.. Don't go after someone you're not attracted to. What do you have to lose by approaching someone that's "out of your league?" You never had them in the first place so if they reject you, it's not like you lost anything. Sure, you might feel humiliated and your ego may be bashed, but that will subside. Who knows? They might find you attractive! As you said, attraction is all subjective. My friends and I all differ in opinions on what a guy that is a "10" looks like. My 10 is someone that is nerdy but still knows how to dress well. One of my friends thinks a 10 is someone who is slightly taller than her and weighs more than her if she was pregnant. Another friend's 10 is someone on a GQ magazine. You just never know. Anyway, the only way you'll find out is by approaching them. But to answer your question, no I don't think about leagues when I'm hitting on someone. I just do it.
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Any guy can get any girl and vice versa, provided he/she has the right combination of certain attributes. Looks are a lot lower down on most girls' lists than guys give them credit for. Look at all the famous 'ugly' men who get the hottest women. Some have a lot of money, some have a great sense of humour but all of them are below a 5 in the league tables. You have your own personal plus points that will attract girls, you just need to be confident about what they are and make sure the rest of the world gets to know about them. Never go after somebody you're not attracted to. That's just a recipe for disaster. Go for the girls you like and play up your good points. There is something unique about you that a certain girl will notice and then who cares who's better looking.
TouchedByViolet Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Any guy can get any girl and vice versa, provided he/she has the right combination of certain attributes. Looks are a lot lower down on most girls' lists than guys give them credit for. Look at all the famous 'ugly' men who get the hottest women. Some have a lot of money, some have a great sense of humour but all of them are below a 5 in the league tables. You have your own personal plus points that will attract girls, you just need to be confident about what they are and make sure the rest of the world gets to know about them. Terrible advice. Women are very much attracted to looks, even more so then men IMO. Average men are not famous or rich or have a hilarious sense of humor. All the above advice is useless for the average joe. Confidence is overrated. Never go after somebody you're not attracted to. That's just a recipe for disaster. Go for the girls you like and play up your good points. There is something unique about you that a certain girl will notice and then who cares who's better looking. Good advice. If you like a girl, go start a conversation and flirt. Believe that a girl somewhere you are attracted to will find you attractive. Don't take it seriously and after many attempts/rejections you will get a date. As long as you put yourself out there you will learn and it will eventually work out. Don't worry about leagues.
Cracker Jack Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I honestly believe the number system is stupid. You either find someone attractive or you don't. That's just me, tho. And even though I barely hit on any women, I only believe in approaching a woman you find attractive. No sense in just hitting on anything.
Author AD1980 Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 Terrible advice. Women are very much attracted to looks, even more so then men IMO. Average men are not famous or rich or have a hilarious sense of humor. All the above advice is useless for the average joe. Confidence is overrated. Yeah i never got the looks arent that important to women thing..Couldnt be further from the truth..
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Yeah i never got the looks arent that important to women thing..Couldnt be further from the truth.. Then you're either very young or you're going after the wrong women! My advice stands.
Cracker Jack Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I know you mean well, LittleTiger. I really do. But, the power of attraction is generally equal between the genders. Even if you go after the right woman, she has to be attracted to you in order for you get your foot in the door. Being nice and funny won't do much if she's not into you visually.
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Terrible advice. Women are very much attracted to looks, even more so then men IMO. Average men are not famous or rich or have a hilarious sense of humor. All the above advice is useless for the average joe. Confidence is overrated. ^^^ This. ^^^
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Women are very much attracted to looks, even more so then men IMO.Average men are not famous or rich or have a hilarious sense of humor. All the above advice is useless for the average joe. Confidence is overrated. Wow, somebody has a very low opinion of the human race. There are plenty of women who look for other qualities besides looks - young girls go more for looks perhaps, but women who want a life partner look beyond the packaging.......and 'average joe' as you call him could very well have an hilarious sense of humour - why the h*ll shouldn't he have? The rich and famous have nothing more than the rest of us except high profile, well paid jobs and a lot of luck that got them into those jobs in the first place.
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I know you mean well, LittleTiger. I really do. But, the power of attraction is generally equal between the genders. Even if you go after the right woman, she has to be attracted to you in order for you get your foot in the door. Being nice and funny won't do much if she's not into you visually. Yes, it will! Of course she has to be attracted to you, but attraction is NOT just about how you look on the outside. Believe this guys because IT IS TRUE!
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Wow, somebody has a very low opinion of the human race. There are plenty of women who look for other qualities besides looks - young girls go more for looks perhaps, but women who want a life partner look beyond the packaging.......and 'average joe' as you call him could very well have an hilarious sense of humour - why the h*ll shouldn't he have? The rich and famous have nothing more than the rest of us except high profile, well paid jobs and a lot of luck that got them into those jobs in the first place. No, he's just being honest and saying it the way it is. Looks come first, for both genders. That's just the way it is. If physical attraction isn't there, nothing else matters.
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 No, he's just being honest and saying it the way it is. Looks come first, for both genders. That's just the way it is. If physical attraction isn't there, nothing else matters. No, that isn't true, because physical attraction isn't just about looks. It's actually mostly about pheromones. It's about how somebody smells, how they move, how they sound, what they say etc AND if you like yourself and present yourself with confidence women will notice that just as much as a good looking face or a hot body.
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 No, that isn't true, because physical attraction isn't just about looks. It's actually mostly about pheromones. It's about how somebody smells, how they move, how they sound, what they say etc AND if you like yourself and present yourself with confidence women will notice that just as much as a good looking face or a hot body. Oh it's very much true. Women care just as much about looks. Looks come first. If you're not physically attracted to someone, it doesn't change. Sorry, but your post is bologna. You can have all the confidence in the world. If you don't find the person physically attractive, it doesn't matter.
sweetjasmine Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 There are plenty of women who look for other qualities besides looks - young girls go more for looks perhaps, but women who want a life partner look beyond the packaging.......and 'average joe' as you call him could very well have an hilarious sense of humour - why the h*ll shouldn't he have? Yeah, my SO is an "average Joe" with a lot of wonderful qualities, including a great sense of humor and sharp wit. I've seen/met men who were more attractive, physically, but for me that sort of attraction is very fleeting. I would never be able to stay interested in a conventionally physically attractive man in the long-term unless he had the qualities that my SO has -- independence, a strong sense of self, kindness, intelligence, a sense of humor compatible with mine, a strong sense of responsibility/discipline, drive, ambition, a positive outlook on life, etc.. All those things make my SO even more attractive to me. Even though I'm attracted to him physically, if he didn't have those qualities that I greatly appreciate and admire, I would have probably been "meh" about him over time.
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Oh it's very much true. Women care just as much about looks. Looks come first. If you're not physically attracted to someone, it doesn't change. Sorry, but your post is bologna. You can have all the confidence in the world. If you don't find the person physically attractive, it doesn't matter. You're missing the point. Physical attraction is NOT just about looks. If it was, the of the whole human race would look like film stars by now. We'd all be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie lookalikes because any of the 'lesser mortals' wouldn't be getting any sex!
carhill Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Carhillism: Physical attraction is a roll (or ten) of Smarties. Elemental attraction is a perfectly cooked steak. The sweet and sour sugar high from the candies is wonderful, but fleeting. I smell the steak coming, slowly cut through the flesh to reveal the tender pink interior, and savor every bite, chewing slowly to extract every last bit of flavor. A little wine, another bite. A little conversation, another bite. When I'm with a woman I'm attracted to, elementally, I always order steak, and leagues are the furthest thing from my mind there is.
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Yeah, my SO is an "average Joe" with a lot of wonderful qualities, including a great sense of humor and sharp wit. I've seen/met men who were more attractive, physically, but for me that sort of attraction is very fleeting. I would never be able to stay interested in a conventionally physically attractive man in the long-term unless he had the qualities that my SO has -- independence, a strong sense of self, kindness, intelligence, a sense of humor compatible with mine, a strong sense of responsibility/discipline, drive, ambition, a positive outlook on life, etc.. All those things make my SO even more attractive to me. Even though I'm attracted to him physically, if he didn't have those qualities that I greatly appreciate and admire, I would have probably been "meh" about him over time. Another woman's perspective at last - thanks for the back up.
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Carhillism: Physical attraction is a roll (or ten) of Smarties. Elemental attraction is a perfectly cooked steak. The sweet and sour sugar high from the candies is wonderful, but fleeting. I smell the steak coming, slowly cut through the flesh to reveal the tender pink interior, and savor every bite, chewing slowly to extract every last bit of flavor. A little wine, another bite. A little conversation, another bite. When I'm with a woman I'm attracted to, elementally, I always order steak, and leagues are the furthest thing from my mind there is. Beautiful analogy carhill.
Mad Max Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 You're missing the point. Physical attraction is NOT just about looks. If it was, the of the whole human race would look like film stars by now. We'd all be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie lookalikes because any of the 'lesser mortals' wouldn't be getting any sex! You do realize that Pitt and Jolie aren't the only attractive people on the planet, right?
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 You do realize that Pitt and Jolie aren't the only attractive people on the planet, right? Actually, I personally don't think either of them are attractive at all. I was using them as an example because they usually come 'top' of the 'attractive celebrity poles'.
PJKino Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I think all people want an attractive person but the realazation eventually sets in that some cant get an attractive person and people settle for what they can get,doesnt sound romantic or straight out of movie stories but it is what it is Both genders are as shallow as they can afford to be.. Whoever thinks looks dont matter to women is lost..I dont think either gender is more shallow but i think Men find more women passibly attractive to them then vice versa.. Most guys in our social circle had all the women chasing just them for years..And these guys are out in the open of not being mongamous or gentlemanly yet the staus of their looks was enough for them to forget about their flaws.. As an unattractive Man it only slightly tips in your favor when women hit that age where therye desprrate to have chldren and the social stigma of women being single by a certain age is too much for thme too bear and they stop chasing after the guys every ewomen wants and settle..
DollWelch Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I got advice from someone on here to hit on girls im not normally attracted to because it would be easier but they showed no interest in me either. Why do you think that is, AD1980 ? You must understand that good looking individuals, especially women, build an increasing in value "Gold Plated Empire" of their worth each time they date men whom do not meet their requirements. Hence the rejections. The startling part is, average women, do the same. Average women with inflated egos tend to share the same "Gold Plated Empire" of their worth with good looking women. Overall, more and more women are superficial and shallow than ever before. Don't go after a woman based on her attractiveness -i.e. don't make it your priority. Find an activity/hobby you both have in common, and then take it from there. With physical attractiveness comes trouble -and heartache. * *Not always, but some of the time.
LittleTiger Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I think all people want an attractive person but the realazation eventually sets in that some cant get an attractive person and people settle for what they can get,doesnt sound romantic or straight out of movie stories but it is what it is Both genders are as shallow as they can afford to be.. Whoever thinks looks dont matter to women is lost..I dont think either gender is more shallow but i think Men find more women passibly attractive to them then vice versa.. Most guys in our social circle had all the women chasing just them for years..And these guys are out in the open of not being mongamous or gentlemanly yet the staus of their looks was enough for them to forget about their flaws.. As an unattractive Man it only slightly tips in your favor when women hit that age where therye desprrate to have chldren and the social stigma of women being single by a certain age is too much for thme too bear and they stop chasing after the guys every ewomen wants and settle.. I never said that looks don't matter. What I said was they are not as important as you guys seem to think. Your view of life is very sad and disillusioned. I'm sorry that anybody would ever feel they have to settle. There are so many amazing people in the world why on earth would anybody settle??? No wonder there are so many divorces if that's the general thinking these days. It's tragic.
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