How do I prepare for this?

[sdarren40]

The love of my life broke up with me (4 year relationship, living together)...he said he wasn't ready to be in a relationship right now.

Well, recently I found out from mutual friends that he has been getting close to a new woman. I began to wonder, "maybe he broke up with me to be with her.."

 

I know it sounds horrible but I just had to know. So I looked through his emails and facebook. Turns out he had been emailing, chatting, and hanging out with this girl for awhile. Their conversations seemed innocent enough, but I could tell that he is interested in her. Which is probably why he broke up with me.

 

I will be moving out of our apartment, but due to our personal circumstances (mutual friends, same college, same hometown etc), I know it will be inevitable to see him from time to time.

 

My question is...how do I prepare for when him and this woman begin to start officially dating? I am terrified at the thought of him being with her, but I feel it is only a matter of time. Just thinking about it makes me shake and feel sick. I try to expect the worst so that I'm not disappointed, but when it actually happens...my world will fall apart, I just know it.

 

I loved him so much...and I still do. We were best friends since child hood. I think seeing him with someone else will be a bigger devastation to me than the actual break up...and I don't think I could take it.

[Leandro]

The love of my life broke up with me (4 year relationship, living together)...he said he wasn't ready to be in a relationship right now.

Well, recently I found out from mutual friends that he has been getting close to a new woman. I began to wonder, "maybe he broke up with me to be with her.."

 

I know it sounds horrible but I just had to know. So I looked through his emails and facebook. Turns out he had been emailing, chatting, and hanging out with this girl for awhile. Their conversations seemed innocent enough, but I could tell that he is interested in her. Which is probably why he broke up with me.

 

I will be moving out of our apartment, but due to our personal circumstances (mutual friends, same college, same hometown etc), I know it will be inevitable to see him from time to time.

 

My question is...how do I prepare for when him and this woman begin to start officially dating? I am terrified at the thought of him being with her, but I feel it is only a matter of time. Just thinking about it makes me shake and feel sick. I try to expect the worst so that I'm not disappointed, but when it actually happens...my world will fall apart, I just know it.

 

I loved him so much...and I still do. We were best friends since child hood. I think seeing him with someone else will be a bigger devastation to me than the actual break up...and I don't think I could take it.

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. My ex told me the same thing, then started another relationship a month later. I think she was talking to him during the summer. I tired to prepare for the worse but it's doesn't help when you actually hear it. I live in a small town as well and I really don't want to see her and him together. Just seeing her in the distance makes me sick and weak. Go NC to heal. If you have him on facebook you should block him so that you don't see when they become official. Everything will be ok, it just takes time.

[paleblue]

Im real sorry to hear about all this sdarren. This is never a good feeling, things like this. Dreadful. I don’t think there is really anyway you can prepare for it. You just have to do your best to get thru it. Do what you need to. Cry, scream, throw things, rant, write a novel, whatever you need to do. It is going to take some time. You will hurt for awhile, but eventually things will get better. That is one thing I can tell you for sure. I never thought I would get over my ex. I thought I would hurt forever and never get over it. Well, I have. Took awhile. But I am living proof things do get better.

 

There is no short cut getting over things. You just have to go thru it. but if you want to get over things faster, instead of dragging this out forever, my suggestion is to cut off all contact once things are settled and you are out. All of it. Erase the number. Hide him on your facebook. Cause you don’t really want to see that when he’s “official” with her. Emails, all of it. delete it. Don’t keep going back and forth and fall into some ridiculous friend’s scenario that he offers. It’s really not friends. You will just wind up hurting longer and feel lousy. While he is out there living his life with his new relationship and not caring about what you think or feel. Sorry to be blunt, but that’s what happens. It is a sickening feeling, yes. But if you keep your dignity and your head held high, even if you have to fake it, it will get better. Hang in there.