ashleysun Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I was with a guy for 3 years - I thought it was great for the most part. We had our obvious fights, as all relationships do. The first year together I waited for him through a deployment. Then next 6 months I waited for him while he was stationed in another state until he got an honorable discharge. The next 1.5 years we lived together. We went through alot together - he just up and ended it at the beginning of this year. We tried to rekindle things once but he ended that within 2 weeks (giving me no reasoning why aside from he needs to "think"). I found out he moved 500 miles away and think about him non-stop everyday. I am to the point where I just don't know what to do, I run 5 miles a day due to frustration, I can't seem to concentrate on anything. I have dated 2 other guys since him, yet everything brings me back to him and what we had. I would give anything in this world for another chance with him, a real chance. He didn't relocate for a job, he moved to where his parents are at. To my knowledge he is in college there. He told me a few months back that he still sees me in his future and doesn't know what that means....I can't get that out of my mind. We aren't friends on facebook anymore but his myspace states he is still single.....I need advice on what to do? Do I reach out to him? Do I leave him alone and wait for him to (maybe one day) come to me?? I am 25 and could have other guys - if I wanted - but I only want him. I am miserable all day and just don't know what to do....
Idalis Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Sorry that you're feeling down, I know from personal experience what you are going through and its not that uncommon. I dont really have an answer. I went through something like this in my early 20's and it was hard for a whole year I would say. I had a life and everything yet I still found it hard. I don't think theres an a-ha moment where everything just snaps in to place and you're good as new, its just a conscious decision that you have to make. It sounds like you still need to wrap your head around the break up, and I'll tell you that is the first step and the most important one. You know his whereabouts and his status, which tells me that you spend time researching him. If youre honest about healing that behavior needs to stop. I'm all for the advancement of technology but sometimes I wonder if social networks didn't do us more harm than good. In my mom's day towns were so small that if you broke up with someone you still got updates on them all the time and heard what they were up to. And we're sort of back in that place, only now its online. He didnt lead you on and seemed clear that he needs time to think, think about what exactly? Who knows, but that is not your concern anymore. Put the FB & MS down and concentrate on yourself. The running you are doing (just make sure its in healthy quantities) and creating a life for yourself, are all good starts. Regardless of where your ex might be, you need to take care of yourself. It sounds like you did a lot of the compromising for this relationship, given the circumstances I can see why as he was in the military, however once that ended he was apparently not able to make any compormises for you and your feelings. And thats okay b/c now you are a young 25 year old with your whole life ahead of you and a world of possibilities. I really hope you are able to see that sometimes things are just best left as they are. By the way the guy in my experience did come back eventually (took like 2 years) and to his surprise, and moreso MY surprise I wouldnt have wanted him not even on a silver platter!!!! Time had opened my eyes and I saw nothing that I even remotely cared for in him, isn't that funny how things work out!?
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