When did you decide to give up with online dating?

[Sith Apprentice]

Online dating is going to be a waste of time for most men. Many of these sites have a 10-1 ration of women to men which means 80-90% of the men on there will never get any play based on the numbers alone. The guy will either have to give up or lower his standards and settle for the the elephants, lamas, and welfare mama's.

[pandagirl]

Most every single person I know has tried online dating. Some have found success, most others not.

 

I've always used online dating as a way to get my groove back on or when I felt like I needed to motivate to get myself back on the dating scene. I've met some nice guys, including my most recent ex who I actually fell in love with.

 

So, I guess it can work, but I'm bowing out from online dating for now. I've done it enough to know how it works, but I think it's best left for those who just want to casually date. There's something unorganic about it to me. Like you meet someone, and it has to be "there" or not, instead of a real life situation where you wouldn't be so discriminating and probably be a little more patient in getting to know the person.

[yoga18]

I couldn't meet anyone! I'm a library book nerd, but I think a cute one so no parties or bars for me. All my friends and they didn't have any single great male friends soooo a friend convinced me to try match and I did. At first I felt dumb, but I gave it a go. It was difficult bc I had hundreds of responses how the hell do you weed through all that. First rule I got rid of any man showing his abs, I was looking for serious no Mr. Right Now. I loved and hated being on there lots of dates so weird, some blah, some cool, and some clicks. I actually made 4 friends out of the deal still talk a ton to each of them. Here is the bonus I went out with one, no chemistry but we enjoyed building a friendship. One day out of the blue he calls says he knows this great guy and thought we would make an awesome couple. Turns out he was right our first date was amazing, he's really sweet, almost 10 months later and still going strong. Funny part my SO was on there! I saw his page he was an eye stopper but that day I vowed to close the account bc I wasn't finding anyone but friends. I didn't feel like paying a site to find me a friend. I remember looking at his page....tempted, really considered going back on what I said and thought no I'm done! A week later I get a call from the friend I made on match he said check out my friend I want to set u up with he's on my fb page....imagine my surprise when I recognized him from his match profile. I told my SO the story and I swear he might not believe me had I not been able to describe his page photos and all....give it a fair shot!

[daphne]

Lucky Yoga. I know several people who have met their fiancés or husband/wife online. I have issues with the job interview style dating, because it's about as unorganic as it gets. I think you need to go with the flow and learn about the person through conversation, not inquisition. You wouldn't do that to someone you met in the real world first. I think they'd run for the hills.

 

I didn't realize that the men outnumber the women so much, but that explains the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Guys in their 50's and 60's that look like grand daddies winked and sent emails. But mostly it's men with whom I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common.

 

It's becoming entertainment mostly now. It's just another tool to meet people, but I don't rely on it exclusively thankfully.

[Tim The Enchanter]

I think a lot of people, men especially, give up on OLD far too easily. It's like they sign up to POF or Match, write to about ten women and then give up when they don't get a single reply. I used to think that I was quite a sensitive person and averse to rejection, but compared to these guys I'm Mr Ice Cool.

 

So you've written ten emails and not one reply? So what! Write another ten! And another, and another, eventually you will get a reply with someone.

 

I guess OLD is not for everyone, but personally I swear by it. I hardly ever get the chance to meet women in the real world, so it's really my only source of dates. And frankly, whilst it can and has been incredibly frustrating and demoralising, I never give up entirely. And yes, I have had good results from it. Some of the most rewarding experiences and relationships I've had have come as a result of OLD.

[Quest]

I am still there online and I don't plan to give up cos I still see some hope. As per experience, I know that 90% are liars and players but you can actually sort them out. I've been in a really good relationship and it was so heavenly... too bad that he got sick and now he's gone. That experience made me strongly believe that I can still find someone true online. And hey, we are not the only people who's looking for the right partner or soul mate... there are a lot there who are carefully searching like us.

 

I agree with this. But I'm not sure there are many more liars and players on-line than there are in a club or bar, or anywhere else for that matter. Maybe on-line dating makes for a situation where it's a bit easier to lie to someone but you're going to have to weed out lots of 'unsuitables' however you about trying to meet someone. Plenty of guys and girls will give out their number to someone in bar or whatever and have no intention of following through with anything. That's just how it is. It's one big 'primordial soup' out there, as one of my friends puts it ...

[yoga18]

Lucky Yoga. I know several people who have met their fiancés or husband/wife online. I have issues with the job interview style dating, because it's about as unorganic as it gets. I think you need to go with the flow and learn about the person through conversation, not inquisition. You wouldn't do that to someone you met in the real world first. I think they'd run for the hills.

 

I didn't realize that the men outnumber the women so much, but that explains the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Guys in their 50's and 60's that look like grand daddies winked and sent emails. But mostly it's men with whom I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common.

 

It's becoming entertainment mostly now. It's just another tool to meet people, but I don't rely on it exclusively thankfully.

 

I feel lucky really I do but I will say I didn't talk long to the guys I get a feel if things might click but I would go on dates very quick. I can't really know someone unless I am face to face with them. Always went somewhere safe, always got their numbers, always met them never had them pick me up etc....as far as the "old men" I just think its more about having nothing to lose. Being shot down hurts way less/way less humiliation than in real life so I think its great when they go for it lol. Good luck though to everyone dating online I believe it was really worth it. Yes I though that even before I met my SO but now I'm a little less skeptical and I believe a little more

[Template]

Tried eharmony, match, PoF, OKC, each for about 3 mos, and I've only met one person for a date. To be honest, it was more of a academic social experiment than anything else. In a lot of those sites, the men outnumber the women 5-10 to 1, and unless you are very attractive, or has a profile that really pulls on the heart strings of what a woman is looking for, then it's really difficult to be noticed.

 

Conversely, a good friend of mine who I consider average, and put a picture that said, "f*** off and die", and a profile to match, had an overflowing amount of requests in her inbox. Heck, some of the letters didn't seem like it was even for her specifically, like it was copy and pasted from another inquiry... LOL

[RovingReporter]

Getting dates from match.com etc is like shooting fish in a bucket. If you're unable to do so you're either unattractive or coming off as a creep in your emails.