Things you have learned from dating

[Tim The Enchanter]

If you're like me and have been playing the dating game for longer than you care to remember, have you picked up any "golden rules" from your experiences? I certainly have. I'm writing from a man's perspective, but they just as well apply to women for all I know.

 

Here are a few:

 

- Just because you think you had a great first date, and even if you got a passionate kiss at the end, it doesn't mean you will even get to go on a second date with that girl.

 

- Even if you call a girl up and get her to agree to a second date, there's no guarantee that she will honour it

 

- If you call to ask for a second date and she says she's busy all that week, but that she can do the following week, be prepared for her to totally flake out on you. If Brad Pitt called her up for a second date, would she turn him down in favour of having her friends over for a slumber party to watch 'Twilight'? I doubt it.

 

- I know many women simply do not think they should call, but if you think you had a great first date and then you hear NOTHING (i.e. not even a "I had a lovely evening" text) from the woman, chances are she wasn't as bowled over as you thought she was (or you were with her)

 

- An interested woman will always, always return your text or call within a day, unless of course she is out of the country or something.

[Untouchable_Fire]

If you're like me and have been playing the dating game for longer than you care to remember, have you picked up any "golden rules" from your experiences? I certainly have. I'm writing from a man's perspective, but they just as well apply to women for all I know.

Here are a few:

- Just because you think you had a great first date, and even if you got a passionate kiss at the end, it doesn't mean you will even get to go on a second date with that girl.

- Even if you call a girl up and get her to agree to a second date, there's no guarantee that she will honour it

- If you call to ask for a second date and she says she's busy all that week, but that she can do the following week, be prepared for her to totally flake out on you. If Brad Pitt called her up for a second date, would she turn him down in favour of having her friends over for a slumber party to watch 'Twilight'? I doubt it.

- I know many women simply do not think they should call, but if you think you had a great first date and then you hear NOTHING (i.e. not even a "I had a lovely evening" text) from the woman, chances are she wasn't as bowled over as you thought she was (or you were with her)

- An interested woman will always, always return your text or call within a day, unless of course she is out of the country or something.

 

In summation: regardless of how you think it went, don't expect anything. If she doesn't put in effort she isn't interested.

[Pyro]

just because a technique of yours works on one, two, or a few women doesn't mean that it will work on every single woman, so don't take it personally when you get rejected.

[Tim The Enchanter]

Here's one from internet dating: if you're emailing someone and she regularly takes up to a week or more to reply to emails, she's very likely a flake.

[Cee]

Sometimes a guy will overcompensate for lack of interest on a first date by acting like he's interested- animated conversation, compliments.

 

When a guy is overly specific about a phone call after a first date (ie. I'll call tomorrow at 2 pm), then it's likely he'll never call.

 

Sometimes I pass on somebody, who in retrospect, might have turned into something special. It's best not to dwell on that. Timing is sometimes as important as finding a good person.

 

I have more, but I'll stop here.

[gypsy_nicky]

when dating, if the relationship feels like a 'double bind', get out and never look back.

[Tim The Enchanter]

when dating, if the relationship feels like a 'double bind', get out and never look back.

 

What do you mean by "double bind"?

[gypsy_nicky]

What do you mean by "double bind"?

 

a unresolvable dilemma where your given conflicting messages rolled up into one. Doesn't matter what route you take because YOu will go round and round in circles with the person.

 

ex: a person says yes but flakes, passive aggression, I hate you don't leave me, I love you dont come near me, and the best one: 'I like you but I don't want to ruin what we have'

[tami-chan]

Oh . How about some positive feedback, you guys?

[Gallaxia]

You can and should compromise, but NEVER settle.

[waynebrady]

The man does all the work, all the moves, all the effort, initiates everything. The woman only sits and do nothing, in their eyes it's enough to grace the man with their presence and if you don't like it too bad. That's pretty much what I have learned.

[Kamille]

I have learned my success in dating isn't tied to my self-esteem.

 

I have learned not to fear rejection.

 

I have learned dating is just two people getting to know each other.

 

I have learned it pays to be honest about my feelings, good or bad.

 

I have learned to handle rejection gracefully.

 

I have learned I cannot control how other people perceive me.

 

I have learned to enjoy dating.

 

I have learned that I am not compatible with everyone.

 

I have learned that the reason love is special is because it's rare.

[Tim The Enchanter]

The man does all the work, all the moves, all the effort, initiates everything. The woman only sits and do nothing, in their eyes it's enough to grace the man with their presence and if you don't like it too bad. That's pretty much what I have learned.

 

Very true. I learned the hard way that, if you sit back and hope for women to come to you, you won't get anywhere. I think if I knew back in uni what I know now, I would have had a lot more success with women.