dating the busy girl

[shy_guy]

I've been seeing this girl for the last month and a half. We go on dates every week though the activity/duration varies a lot (ranging from full day to just a meal). I like seeing her and time seems to fly. Judging by interaction during dates I think she has fun too.

 

The problem is that she has a very demanding job and is always very busy (no it's not her being flaky, it's work - 12+ hr days and every other weekend). I'm very picky when it comes to dating and would like to keep seeing this girl but I don't know if this is a no-win situation. I also work very hard but am a great believer in balance, and in making time for important things.

 

In relationships I usually like to just let things flow naturally and not have any 'serious' talks until after a few months of dating. This time however I find myself wanting to tell her something to the effect of:

 

"I like you and would like to get to know you better. I get that you have a demanding job and I'm willing to be flexible but I can't see this working if you can't make time to see me once a week."

 

The reason being I like her enough to deal with the uncertainty of her gnarly schedule (to an extent) and also to put the effort into travelling to see her. BUT primarily, I'm looking for a relationship - not another fwb situation. On the flip side 'serious' relationship talks so early seem desperate so I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do... maybe I should speak with actions: ie trying to get more intimate/inviting her to stay?

 

Additional considerations/info:

- We live about an hour apart (opposite sides of the city). I'll be moving closer in 6 months.

- Her job situation isn't going to change for a few years. Mine will get busier.

- We're early/mid 20s

 

So my choices seem to be:

 

1) Don't have the 'serious' talk and see how things play out (invite her to stay the night - logistics mean this has to be organized in advance :/ ).

2) Talk to her and say something like what I wrote above.

3) <<<Your additional suggestion>>> Anything else guys?

 

What do I do?

 

Thanks ^_^

[Tim The Enchanter]

A month and a half is perhaps too short a time to be having "talks" with her. My answer would fall somewhere between options 1 & 2 - leave it for another couple of months to see what happens. If by then you still have the same feelings, by all means talk to her about it. There's no point keeping your feelings buried. If you're not getting full satisfaction from the relationship, you have the right to make your feelings known to her.

[tami-chan]

Oh go ahead and have the "talk", see if she is interested in a relationship ever and how she will go about nurturing that relationship.

 

Is she a Nurse?