Lorelei_Lane Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 ... and how the time flies. I'm new to this forum, although I have read posts in many forums. I figured it's best if I post my story here because it's a complicated mix of emotions for me... and it's about coping. Dealing with different things. It started when I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with my best friend, that lived in another state. Luckily for me she did live in that other state, who knows where the affair would have ended up. That was in July of last year. Matter of fact, it was 4th of July weekend. My husband and I were struggling, we had gotten married after dating/living together for almost 3 years and we had both lost our jobs. He suggested it because it just made sense to go ahead and do it, make it easier since we had no clue when we would actually be able to afford a wedding at that point. I was happy. This other woman, my best friend, pulled a cloud over me. She even got pissed at me one day for even thinking she would ever do that to me. But, she did do it. She did. No, my husband isn't blameless here, but he's owned up to his share of the affair many many times. I left that weekend. I went to my in laws house, they were furious with their son/brother. I then made my way to my family's place in another state. A week later, he came to a decision. After she made it clear she wasn't going to actually act on all the feelings she shared with him. Second choice it seems. At the time, yes, I was. I came back home with him, he came and got me, after we were down at my parents place for three weeks. He broke the no contact rule, I called him out on it and almost left. That night he finally spilled his guts about everything. What happened between them, when it started. The crap that was spewed back and forth. He told me from then on, he wouldn't contact her, that my actually wanting to leave him scared him. He didn't want to lose me. Should I have left? Probably. But, I didn't. Fear? Not really, I would have had my own place if I had left, back with my family, a job waiting for me. I didn't need him to survive. I had plenty of guy friends, when they found out what was going on, almost tell me to leave him for them. I never did that either. I could have I'm sure, and maybe things could have been different. I went off on the other woman. She was supposed to be my best friend. I told her to never contact me, or him, again in mid August, and to fess up to her boyfriend, yes, she was with someone, about the situation and the naked pictures she sent to my husband while he was supposed to be making a decision. For the first six months, I planned on leaving my husband. I honestly did. I didn't want to stay with him, stay with someone that did that to me. I was broken, torn and confused. I had been betrayed by not just one person that I trusted, but two. I found it hard to trust anyone after that for the longest time. I met a girl at my new job, she knew I was holding back, but never pried. When she found out why she was more than understanding, she had been there too. We're now very close friends. She was there when I needed her I think. Things with my husband and I actually changed and got better this past May, when he realized how much of a liar his beautiful angel was. She had cheated once again, we suspect, on her boyfriend, and was with another guy friend we both knew she cared a lot about. She finally had her prize. She wanted this guy for a long time, and now she finally has him. That was when my husband opened up completely about everything. How stupid he was for what he did to me, and when we truly began to heal as a couple. My husband never gives her a second thought. If anything, the only time he actually thinks of her is when I say her name, and bring her up. The only problem I seem to have anymore revolves around her. I can't seem to shake her. She's always on my mind, always on my brain. There are weeks at a time where I don't think about her, sure. I don't even give her a second thought. I go about my life as if she never existed. Then there are days, like today, where I miss her. I actually miss having her as a friend. I have every reason in the world to hate this woman, and no one could blame me. But yet I can't seem to hate her. And I don't understand why I can't.
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