bittermelon Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 has anyone ever had any of those days where: it's beautiful outside but you can't seem to enjoy it because everything you see, hear, smell, touch is affected by him, and all you want to do is hide under the covers and sleep the day away because no matter how hard you try, every little thing reminds you of the breakup? today, cleaning my room. came across boxes that I had placed in the other room because I was going to use them to pack when I move to his place. the boxes are no longer needed but I don't have the heart to move them. don't want to deal with them because they bring sadness to the fact that I will never need to use them. want to go shopping. but every time i pass a furniture store, i think about how i was looking forward to furnishing his place when i move in. walk past lingerie store and no enjoyment because i used to buy these to look good for him. i can go to the gym, but i feel sad every time I see a couple working out together. can call a friend, but most of them are enjoying their beautiful day with family and/or significant other. see children in the park with their dads and it hurts to think that i wasted 8 years on this SOB and came out with nothing. meanwhile, couples i know who hooked up only a year or two ago are already married and starting families. where did everything go wrong? i know my thinking is illogical and I know it'll go away tomorrow once i'm back to work. just today... whole day seems to be a drag...
Lovelydawn Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 i am there with you. for me even the nice sunny weather makes me feel sad coz this is when we like to go out for a walk together holding hands. i don't even like to go for a walk anymore coz every corner and every street of our neighborhood reminds me of him. i don't even want to to go the malls or the parks coz it will just remind me of our times together. i just see him everywhere. god this is so damn hard
Idalis Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I was there a few years ago, and it was really hard, and there were days I had to drag myself out of bed and cry in the shower. I can tell you this though, it is SO hard for me to remember those days now!! Its an old cliche but such a true one, time heals all wounds, and in some cases like mine, you won't even have a scar Hang in there, don't try to rush the healing process, allow yourself to cry if you need to, but know that you will look back on this time one day and not believe that it was even you. There is a lot of happiness out there, in due time!
Author bittermelon Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 even the nice sunny weather makes me feel sad i hear ya, lovely! sunny days = sadness because you want to spend your beautiful day with the person you love. rainy days = sadness because it's nice to stay inside and cuddle together in bed when it's a gloomy day snowy days = sadness cause it reminds me of the holidays and not having anyone to share it with seems like you just can't win...
rebeccajones Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 You will have a new love look forward to it!! Imagine it! You will get through.
PSG Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Hello - I completely understand. I spent 15 year with my ex!! Today is the kind of beautiful day outside that we would have spent together. I went for a walk with a friend instead but had to make myself do it. We have only been broken up and NC for about a week and a half so I know it just had to get better. Hang in there.
thatsonlyme Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 It was really hard for me to enjoy beautiful weather in the first few weeks following our break up. Everything reminded me on her, on us. Sometimes I could almost see a clear image of us sitting on a bench in our park from 5 years ago or just walking down the street hand in hand, happiest couple in the world. I remember so many details, images were so vivid and it was hurting as hell. Now I still occasionally remember things and feel sadness but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be. I try not to let those memories take over me and I try to focus on something else. Most of the time though I use a different approach. I notice beautiful women walking down the street and I came to realize that one day, one of them will be mine. I started noticing women looking at me and I feel good about it. Maybe that's because my ex successfully managed to destroy my self esteem and make me feel like an old, fat and ugly guy. She would tell me that she loved me for who I am but I'm definitely not hot. Whatever, that was just her opinion! It's not like she was the hottest one out there either! I'm definitely not a bed looking guy, I was just always very simple. Now that I changed my style a little bit I can already tell the difference, women notice me a lot more, hell I even had a hot girl look back as I passed her which never happened to me before! So people, please try to stop seeing your exes on the street, see your futures instead Life is good, be positive and you'll make it through. You have to grieve for a while but at some point you just have to get over it. Sooner the better. Just look at me, read my previous posts and you will see a person who made it through in less than 2 months! I hardly can believe it myself, but here I am and I want to give you hope. It's all in your heads people!
D-Lish Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 has anyone ever had any of those days where: it's beautiful outside but you can't seem to enjoy it because everything you see, hear, smell, touch is affected by him, and all you want to do is hide under the covers and sleep the day away because no matter how hard you try, every little thing reminds you of the breakup? When everything you do is unfluenced by someone else, when do you matter? It's high time you rediscover what it means to be YOU.
SadGirl23 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 it'll be 3 months this week since my ex bf broke up with me. I know exactly how you feel. Everything you said is a mirror of what I feel, believe, and deal with everyday, every moment when I am not busy keeping my mind off it!
jeff2321 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I was there a few years ago, and it was really hard, and there were days I had to drag myself out of bed and cry in the shower. I can tell you this though, it is SO hard for me to remember those days now!! Its an old cliche but such a true one, time heals all wounds, and in some cases like mine, you won't even have a scar Hang in there, don't try to rush the healing process, allow yourself to cry if you need to, but know that you will look back on this time one day and not believe that it was even you. There is a lot of happiness out there, in due time! I can't wait for that day to come. Every night I sleep on the couch because I'm no able to sleep in the same better that we used to sleep in before she moved out. In fact I rarely go into the master bedroom at all these days and I'm thinking of converting it into an office so the entire room has a different meaning. I'm getting better but I still cry ( even today I cried ) when I realized she wasn't in my life anymore and that she has probably moved on long ago. Jeff
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