ah8kp Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I am a freshman in college and my gf is still in high school. as you can imagine, this has been really tough on me because I feel like a part of me is still at home when I want all of me to be at school with me. Im trying to figure out what I really want. So I made us unofficial so i would have the chance to see if i would want to spend college single. I ended up sleeping with a girl and it made me realize that there is nothing more that I want than being with my gf. I love her so much and feel terrible for doing this to her, but at the same time she told me she didnt want me to tell her anything. what do I do? How can i get over this?
Author ah8kp Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Viewers please reply with anything...I really need some help on this one..I know it may not seem that important because we are so young, but this is the girl I want to marry
aerogurl87 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Don't tell her. You two aren't together right? And she doesn't want to know, so don't tell her.
Sivok Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Are you saying this out of true emotion or out of guilt? It's not uncommon for a cheat to turn around and think they just lost it all, hence losing what they never truly appreciated they had. What was going through your head in the actual act of cheating on your gf? Also, if it's unofficial and you both made it very clear what that meant, you technically didn't do anything wrong. Who knows, she may be sleeping around as well - which is perfectly in line with what you both had agreed to. Was that a mistake? It's for you to decide, but it sounds like you already know the answer to that question. My advice? Leave out the details of what you did with this other girl and talk to your gf about becoming exclusive again, as you didn't breach any agreement of fidelity due to declaring an open relationship.
Author ah8kp Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 The reason I did It was because I was not sure if i wanted to be a guy who just went around randomly and meaninglessly hooking up in college or if I wanted Love. And i wanted to do it while we were unofficial so that it couldn't technically be labeled as cheating. I feel as though Had I not done it there would always be that doubt in our relationship thinking is this really what I want. But now that I did it I know I dont want to be that guy and all I want is Love and I have that with her. Even though I didnt technically cheat, I feel as though I did and dont know if I should tell her. I didnt do it out of lust or anything, I would never ever cheat on her when we were officially together, Ive had plenty of chances before and it has been easy to turn them down so I know I can do it. But I feel particularly bad about this instance and I dont know if I should tell her or not because I feel it would devastate her if I did. If I dont tell her, what can I do to just put this behind me and out of my mind?
bee55 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 the best rule in a real love is: no cheating even though other party couldn't know if you find your self follow the rule above so no mater to sacrifice every thing for the love. if you do this the honest will be flow over your eyes. then it is easy to get her
Author ah8kp Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 I appreciate all the help. Im going to tell her. It just a matter of when (now, or in the late future). It was truly just a matter of me not knowing what I wanted at this point in my life and it took me a hook up to realize what I really wanted and I dont know how to feel about it. I love her so much i really do....anything helps, I am constantly checking back for advice
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