BrokenBrooklynMan43 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 It's been a week of NC and I fight against calling or emailing her or just leaving a voicemail. We were together 7 years and I miss her so much. I want her back. I want another chance. We can work on our problems. We had lots of love and laughter and good times. I can't just let her go without a fight, but I don't know what to do. I got comfortable and took her for granted. I let things slip. I know what I did wrong. So confused.
Trovador Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 A week is not enough, give her some more time to clear her mind, give her some space, don't act all needy or she will stop respecting you... if she wishes a second chance she will have to voice it, but if you are pestering her around she won´t do it and she will think that breaking up was the best decision she could have made...
Author BrokenBrooklynMan43 Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Thank you for replying. This weekend has been bad and I have been fighting very hard not to contact her. I am dead inside. Sometimes I am just numb and others are complete agony. I cry often, and just lay in bed in the dark. I feel pathetic. I am a 43 year old man. But I love her, and it hurts.
Trovador Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 You are pathetic, man, this is not the end of the world, despite what all those songs say... you are contributing to your own agony, do you think the man you are being now (dead inside, numb, complete agony, laying in the dark) is the man your ex would want? I starting to think that maybe your ex made the right choice... Get back to life, bro, work out, jog, walk, dance, do something physical, as I used to say not long ago (believe me, I've been there) "suffer, but with class" ha ha... And I agree, NC hurts, but breaking it hurts more...
Author BrokenBrooklynMan43 Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 I hate what you are saying. But I know that you are right. Weakness is what got me here. If I had not let myself get weak, this would not have happened. I know I need to make changes, to grow stronger, to make myself better. The last few days have just been so bad. There is a voice inside saying to work out, study, take classes, do the things I have been promising to do for so long. But I feel awful. I am so conflicted.
skydiveaddict Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Trovador makes some valid points. But you are not pathetic. Sometimes the hurt from a broken relationship can last a long time, no matter what you do. It's just part of the healing process and sometimes you just cant speed it up.
Author BrokenBrooklynMan43 Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 Thank you Sky. It is very painful and I am going through a lot of emotions right now. I am not sure how to cope yet but I am trying to find a way to use it as a wake-up call. There are some things I need to change.
Trovador Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Hey, I said Man43 was pathetic just because he said "I feel pathetic" and I strongly believe that one is what one thinks of oneself... anyway, sorry man... I also believe that after a break up you don't have to suffer, as I have read around on this forum, pain is inavoidable, suffering is not... No man or woman on this Earth deserves you let yourself die because of them... it hurts? Yeah, I know, I have had my share of bad relationship, but I've never quit on life, in fact, those obstacles have brought out the best of me... Bring'em all!
broken-and-lost Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Thank you Sky. It is very painful and I am going through a lot of emotions right now. I am not sure how to cope yet but I am trying to find a way to use it as a wake-up call. There are some things I need to change. Same here fella i had a few changes to make in my life not for her but for me as it effected my relationship at the time, I struggle everyday not to contact her it's really hard m8 but try and stick with it, i don't want to give up either but sometimes you have to give people space to think
Author BrokenBrooklynMan43 Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 No Trovador - thanks for the apology but I understood what you meant. Pain is unavoidable but letting it dominate my life is not. Feeling it, crying, missing her is not pathetic; doing nothing for myself is. Broken, I am right there with you. I need to change the things that affected my relationship because they affect me too. But should I never contact her? I want a second chance.
broken-and-lost Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 (edited) No Trovador - thanks for the apology but I understood what you meant. Pain is unavoidable but letting it dominate my life is not. Feeling it, crying, missing her is not pathetic; doing nothing for myself is. Broken, I am right there with you. I need to change the things that affected my relationship because they affect me too. But should I never contact her? I want a second chance. I got to be honest fella i really want to contact my ex everyday i wouldn't say don't ever, but i guess we both have to give them time.. i want a second chance more then anything in the world, but in my heart i'm not sure i'll get it, if we push for it they will just move further apart but we also risk the fact they may move on? but even if we do contact them now then they won't have time to think and more then likely pushes them away anyway. I got to be honest i don't like either option at the moment, Its horrible when you know you can or have made the changes the rocket up the butt, but it takes two for the whole second chance. It's always a bit crap when your older 30/40 as you think you should have know better by now. If i lived close fella i'd take you for a beer every night and we could talk about our **** ups until one day it didn't hurt so much, sure it would be an interesting conversation. I keep watching hot tub time machine at the moment funny but fit the situation in a way seen it 12 times already lol Edited October 18, 2010 by broken-and-lost
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