mrbluenobody Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 My..now ex girlfriend and I agreed on two weeks of no contact so she could figure out how she feels about me. This came about because she felt she should be "in love" with me after 4 months. A week into No contact she texts me saying she knows it isn't fair (because we're under no contact) to ask but If I would come over and console her because she's having a really tough time (found out her fathers cancer is back). I went over with the intention of giving her a shoulder and to re-establish our boundaries ( no communication) for a longer period of time. Needless to say...after I was there for a bit we picked up right where we left off.....as if we there was nothing wrong. We made love that evening, snuggled and kissed passionately for a loooooong looong time. I ended up staying the night and we made love again in the morning. We talked and cried and cried and talked. Ultimately, she said she's confused about what she wants and I got her to admit that she wants to be single, to figure things out, so it is over between us. I've never been in a situation like this before. Usually when a relationship ends you can put your finger on a few things as to why. In this case, she was still attracted to me, had a great time with me, and loved affection. The one thing she had said was she wasn't "in love" with me yet and she thought she should be. I still thought it was awfull early to tell because we'd only been together for four months. But, then again, she and I only spent 2 to 3 nights a week together (Although we did spend 6 days together on vacation) and she didn't seem to want to increase that amount of time over time. All in all I'm heartbroken. She was the "one" for me. I'm 37 yrs old and I've never been with someone I'm more compatible with than her. She told me I was her best friend and that it was so unnatural to just all the sudden never talk to someone again. I told her that I could never be "just" friends with her and that we'd have to cut off all contact for good. She said she wished she could check up on me every couple of weeks but agreed with no contact. She said she was confused and she still thought she "might" be making the biggest mistake of her life and told me that if she realized in a couple of months that she had made a mistake she was going to contact me.....because, even though I might be with someone or no longer want her, she'd have nothing to loose. I don't understand.....I'm so sick. This has devastated me emotionally. I really thought I'd found my soulmate this time.
dingdong Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Not too sure what she is playing at, I don't get why she would sleep with you etc. I think if I were you i'd do the no contact thing really strictly and see if she comes back to you, but don't wait for her. Think of the positive, it's only been 4 months, at least if that's it over for good you don't have to waste any more time with someone who doesn't want you. If you meet someone you love that much once, you can meet someone again.
Crazy4what Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 why do NC if she lets you in in her life? I mean yeah you have your pride and all but. What for? I know your hurting that she is just your friend according to her. I had a GF like that long time ago, she told me im just her friend. So I payed it like that, we have sex, go to malls. even she got a new bf were still making love and dating. lol so..... its really a win win situation for me. This was 9 yrs ago. and guess what... we are still friends. we still email time to time. But again different people different personality different agenda.
Trovador Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Yep, to each his own... Personally, it would hurt more a friendly contact than no contact at all... and I really hate the ambiguity of friends with benefits; I prefer being only friends or lovers or nothing than being sucked in the middle of that unhealthy mix called FWB...
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