mrbluenobody Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 (edited) My..now ex girlfriend and I agreed on two weeks of no contact so she could figure out how she feels about me. This came about because she felt she should be "in love" with me after 4 months. A week into No contact she texts me saying she knows it isn't fair (because we're under no contact) to ask but If I would come over and console her because she's having a really tough time (found out her fathers cancer is back). I went over with the intention of giving her a shoulder and to re-establish our boundaries ( no communication) for a longer period of time. Needless to say...after I was there for a bit we picked up right where we left off.....as if we there was nothing wrong. We made love that evening, snuggled and kissed passionately for a loooooong looong time. I ended up staying the night and we made love again in the morning. We talked and cried and cried and talked. Ultimately, she said she's confused about what she wants and I got her to admit that she wants to be single, to figure things out, so it is over between us. I've never been in a situation like this before. Usually when a relationship ends you can put your finger on a few things as to why. In this case, she was still attracted to me, had a great time with me, and loved affection. The one thing she had said was she wasn't "in love" with me yet and she thought she should be. I still thought it was awfull early to tell because we'd only been together for four months. But, then again, she and I only spent 2 to 3 nights a week together (Although we did spend 6 days together on vacation) and she didn't seem to want to increase that amount of time over time. All in all I'm heartbroken. She was the "one" for me. I'm 37 yrs old and I've never been with someone I'm more compatible with than her. She told me I was her best friend and that it was so unnatural to just all the sudden never talk to someone again. I told her that I could never be "just" friends with her and that we'd have to cut off all contact for good. She said she wished she could check up on me every couple of weeks but agreed with no contact. She said she was confused and she still thought she "might" be making the biggest mistake of her life and told me that if she realized in a couple of months that she had made a mistake she was going to contact me.....because, even though I might be with someone or no longer want her, she'd have nothing to loose. I don't understand.....I'm so sick. This has devastated me emotionally. I really thought I'd found my soulmate this time. Edited October 17, 2010 by mrbluenobody
rebeccajones Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Like eveyone on here says focus on yourself, get your self back and since it has not been so long maybe she will come back around. But you have to remember there are other women that could be for you and that will love you. Gain your strength back she may not be right for you and may be unstable sounds like she was using you for her emotional needs. Best wishes to you!
Sonolumino Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's such a weird reason to break up: "Because I'm not in love yet and I should be"? Give it space and time. Work on yourself a bit and make her realize you what she's missing if you really want her back. Don't contact her.
overcome Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Blue Sorry to hear about your situation. Best thing you can do is not to contact her and if she contacts you, the only thing you should be hearing is that she made a big mistake and wants you back. If she calls to check on you, ignore her. If she calls to tell you she's down, ignore her. If there's any chance that you two will get back together, she has to see you as a boyfriend and not a friend. Attraction is tricky and if you want her to have those "butterfly" feelings, you can't be her friend. The fact that she stated you were her best friend may be the culprit for why she's not in love with you?
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