Dotbat Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Recently I started crushing on a friend of mine. Up until a few weeks ago I thought he wanted to be friends, but now I think he likes me back. Now I have no idea what I feel. I'm totally freaked out by the idea of being committed and open with someone. He is pretty much everything I want in a guy and I hate that I might have sent mixed signals.
Shindig Posted November 1, 2010 Posted November 1, 2010 Take your time and make an effort to spend time with him. There's no rush. You don't have to commit right away. Find your comfort zone.
Logic Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 You like him. You're just feeling mixed emotions because now that he likes you you're afraid of the reality of a relationship. You're mixed emotions will naturally project onto him as mixed signals. Be honest with him! Tell him how you feel and tell him you're scared. If you don't those mixed signals will make him think you're not that interested and he will lose interest himself.
LoveLace Posted November 3, 2010 Posted November 3, 2010 You like him. You're just feeling mixed emotions because now that he likes you you're afraid of the reality of a relationship. You're mixed emotions will naturally project onto him as mixed signals. Be honest with him! Tell him how you feel and tell him you're scared. If you don't those mixed signals will make him think you're not that interested and he will lose interest himself. Yes communication needs to come into play now, otherwise going by each other's actions just leads to confusion...explain you like him but you want to move very slowly with the transition from friends to more.
Author Dotbat Posted January 6, 2011 Author Posted January 6, 2011 Well I totally forgot about this post, but you guys were all pretty spot on. We've been dating for about 2 months now and it is wonderful. I told him upfront that I have a fear of intimacy and his first reaction was asking what he could do to make me comfortable. We talk about our feelings a lot, and that helps me from closing myself off. He does give me space if I need it though. He is so patient, but he knows when to prod me out of comfort zone just enough. I feel like I am becoming a totally different person, in a good way. I had no idea how deep I buried my emotions, until he helped me start to dig them out. We were friends for 3 years before all of this. There are few people in this world I trust and respect more. I am so lucky.
Shindig Posted January 6, 2011 Posted January 6, 2011 This is excellent news. I think we learn the most about ourselves through other people. Good luck!
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