cmichael16 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Hey guys, long time no post... So my ex and I had been in contact for a little while after she came after me and I turned her down. about 3 weeks ago (maybe 4 or 5, I am not counting anymore lol) She was being her usual 21 year old bitchy psycho self and I flat out told her off, I said things that shouldnt have been said but it was the only way I could get her to stop contacting me, it was driving me nuts as I am sortof in a relationship (that is a whole nother story but not worth talking about here). So I said some hurtful things hoping it would get through her head. She finally said she was never going to bother me again, I told her thanks, please dont ever contact me, try to see me, or even think of me ever again. So silence, which I wanted. I am fine, am in a relationship sortof (its still new, but very nice). Havent really even thought about her, my friends and I have nicknamed her "Crazy Train" I had even deleted her number out of my phones. So fast forward to this afternoon... I get a text from a number I didnt recognize... "Hey I need to come to your house and get my christmas stuff soon" Of course I didnt reply, deleted it, called my GF and vented (oops, but she understood how pissed I was) So some info that is needed here: 1. She hasnt been to my house since she got her stuff in march 2. She lives 45 minutes away, in another town, coming to my house is faar out of the way 3. I offered to mail/ship her christmas stuff to her months ago, she said she didnt want it. So all that added up confuses the hell out of me. I know not to respond, I know it probably means nothing. But will this escalate? How do I nip this in the bud before it starts? Let me be clear, I DO NOT want contact from her, I DO NOT ever want to see her again, she may be good lookin but shes friggin crazy and psycho, this reaks of the crap she pulled a few months ago, making up excuses to see me. SO, Help me oh wise ones? of course I could be making something from nothing, but worst case scenario an ounce of prevention right?
Author cmichael16 Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Sorry, I should note, the christmas stuff is 99% "Ex and ME" ornaments and stuff like that. Was planning on throwing it away when I got the tree out this year.
Billie The Puppet Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 What's the law on possession of property where you are? I'm not sure what mine is but I think it's after 6 months the property is yours to dispose of.
Author cmichael16 Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Dont know, probably 6 months (she left me in feb) I dont really care, I mean there is maybe 20 bucks worth of stuff, its all sentimental crap, I dont want it, Ide rather just throw everything away and get new ornaments/decorations.
Billie The Puppet Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Dont know, probably 6 months (she left me in feb) I dont really care, I mean there is maybe 20 bucks worth of stuff, its all sentimental crap, I dont want it, Ide rather just throw everything away and get new ornaments/decorations. That's the point you are not obligated to give it back you could throw it out especially since you amply gave her the opportunity to get it, Morally or Ethically you could box it up and send it to her but you are not obligated to if it is 6 months.
Author cmichael16 Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 That's the point you are not obligated to give it back you could throw it out especially since you amply gave her the opportunity to get it, Morally or Ethically you could box it up and send it to her but you are not obligated to if it is 6 months. I think you may have missed my point.. Why the hell is she contacting me at all when I told her never to again (literally used the word never). I would bet serious money she doesnt give a flying f about the actual stuff. It is a flimsy excuse to walk back into my life, and I can see it. But she will escalate in some way... I need to nip it in the bud. Even if I boxed her **** and sent it to her she would then try another way.
Billie The Puppet Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I see what you mean, it means **** all to you go on ignoring her. She may keep attempting if it gets so bad get a restraining order. You've move on she can f* off if she can't understand your wishes.
Author cmichael16 Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 I see what you mean, it means **** all to you go on ignoring her. She may keep attempting if it gets so bad get a restraining order. You've move on she can f* off if she can't understand your wishes. I unfortunately do see a restraining order in the future.
Idalis Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Cant you just donate it and reply "I donated it a while back" ... then don't reply to any other messages you might receive. Or would that anger her more?? I did that once with a guy using a movie as leverage, and it worked. He text a few times after that but then disappeared after I didn't reply. Its definitely just an excuse to see you/ talk to you.
Author cmichael16 Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 I dont know if it would anger her or not, I dont want any contact, even sending 1 message to her would make her think it is okay to contact me
ShannonMI Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Hey guys, long time no post... So my ex and I had been in contact for a little while after she came after me and I turned her down. about 3 weeks ago (maybe 4 or 5, I am not counting anymore lol) She was being her usual 21 year old bitchy psycho self and I flat out told her off, I said things that shouldnt have been said but it was the only way I could get her to stop contacting me, it was driving me nuts as I am sortof in a relationship (that is a whole nother story but not worth talking about here). So I said some hurtful things hoping it would get through her head. She finally said she was never going to bother me again, I told her thanks, please dont ever contact me, try to see me, or even think of me ever again. So silence, which I wanted. I am fine, am in a relationship sortof (its still new, but very nice). Havent really even thought about her, my friends and I have nicknamed her "Crazy Train" I had even deleted her number out of my phones. So fast forward to this afternoon... I get a text from a number I didnt recognize... "Hey I need to come to your house and get my christmas stuff soon" Of course I didnt reply, deleted it, called my GF and vented (oops, but she understood how pissed I was) So some info that is needed here: 1. She hasnt been to my house since she got her stuff in march 2. She lives 45 minutes away, in another town, coming to my house is faar out of the way 3. I offered to mail/ship her christmas stuff to her months ago, she said she didnt want it. So all that added up confuses the hell out of me. I know not to respond, I know it probably means nothing. But will this escalate? How do I nip this in the bud before it starts? Let me be clear, I DO NOT want contact from her, I DO NOT ever want to see her again, she may be good lookin but shes friggin crazy and psycho, this reaks of the crap she pulled a few months ago, making up excuses to see me. SO, Help me oh wise ones? of course I could be making something from nothing, but worst case scenario an ounce of prevention right? Pack all her Christmas sh*t up and mail it! Any other things you have of hers, mail as well. She'll have no more excuses to contact you.
ShannonMI Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I think you may have missed my point.. Why the hell is she contacting me at all when I told her never to again (literally used the word never). I would bet serious money she doesnt give a flying f about the actual stuff. It is a flimsy excuse to walk back into my life, and I can see it. But she will escalate in some way... I need to nip it in the bud. Even if I boxed her **** and sent it to her she would then try another way. It's called a restraining order. If she keeps bothering you after you mail her her sh*t, then threaten her with a RO. Hopefully that will be the end of it.
spriggig Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Don't make this more complicated than it is. Just ship the stuff to her and be done with it. You don't need her permission to ship it, if you don't have her address ask for it like a man. You're not "confused" about why she is contacting you. You're in self-denial that you still have feelings for her. The source of your "confusion" is your mixed feelings of anger and desire--this is normal. You've picked your direction--away from her. Just deal with this minor problem of her stuff and be done with her. Cross the bridge of further contact from her if and when you come to it, don't use your prediction of what may happen to stop you from carrying out the simple task of returning her stuff now.
summerl0vesyou Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 (edited) I think you may have missed my point.. Why the hell is she contacting me at all when I told her never to again (literally used the word never). I would bet serious money she doesnt give a flying f about the actual stuff. It is a flimsy excuse to walk back into my life, and I can see it. But she will escalate in some way... I need to nip it in the bud. Even if I boxed her **** and sent it to her she would then try another way. shes contacting you because she probly cant get it thru her head just how serious you are, or she just cant hold back. i did that...i felt so stupid. eventually i got it, before he'd ever have to issue a restraining order O.O Just tell her that you are sending it to her. Be the bigger person, send the crap to her. Just leave a note with it that says, The past that will never happen again. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. These are only memories, they will never ever ever ever EVER happen again. Get it through your head, please. Im not going to be an arsshole, but thats only because I am over you and I dont want to hurt myself in order to try and get through to you. I do not want to see you. I do not want to talk to you. why would you want to talk to someone who DOES NOT want you? Please, this is enough. From here on, I will not reply to anything that you say. If you continue to contact me against my wishes, know that it makes me feel harrassed, and I may have to consider a restraining order. anything you feel you need to include. Just reiterate what you've said before in a different way. She may see the hostility as a sign you arent over it (I know because I did!) Be nice. She will be shocked. She will realized maybe you are over it....and hopefully shell go away like you want so badly so you can be happy with your new girl. Edited October 17, 2010 by summerl0vesyou
Author cmichael16 Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Just an update, this morning before I left to work I pulled down the attic stairs so that I could remember to box and ship her stuff. about 2 this afternoon she emails me saying "I need to kno when I can come get my christmas stuff" I didnt reply Got home, boxed her stuff, wrote on a piece of paper "This is all the Christmas stuff I thought could even be yours :)" Sealed the box, stuck a post it with her address on it and Ill drop it off at the UPS store in the morning on my way to work. God I hope this is the end of it... I am the freaking dumpee and I feel stalked lol.
ShannonMI Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Just an update, this morning before I left to work I pulled down the attic stairs so that I could remember to box and ship her stuff. about 2 this afternoon she emails me saying "I need to kno when I can come get my christmas stuff" I didnt reply Got home, boxed her stuff, wrote on a piece of paper "This is all the Christmas stuff I thought could even be yours :)" Sealed the box, stuck a post it with her address on it and Ill drop it off at the UPS store in the morning on my way to work. God I hope this is the end of it... I am the freaking dumpee and I feel stalked lol. Good for you! I'm glad you packed the stuff up and mailed it. That should be the end of it.
IfiKnewThen Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 please dont be angry at me when i say this (or go ahead lol) but dont be come a legend in your own mind. i have wanted my stuff back and sometimes you dont know if someone will tell you they will mail and and wont. or wont pack it with care. ...(all my things broke once from some jerk years ago) and she seriously can want it OVER herself. ended..fin...ished. so, it does NOT have to mean she wants you. sometimes people get paranoid and think because they tried to patch things up before that not its going to be an endless thing of them wanting you. sometimes, they want closure is all. their stuff. to face down the demon...not that you are. i understand you are the dumpee. the one who got dumped. but it could sadly cause more unnecessary pain to your ex..to have you treat them like the plague. and speaking once doesnt mean a lifetime of dialog either. i truly hate when an ex acts like that. lets not take ourselves that seriously..too quickly. you may be right i am NOt saying you are not. but give the girl the benefit of the doubt. sometimes people actually grow up and want to have closure and move on.
TLCbear Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 please dont be angry at me when i say this (or go ahead lol) but dont be come a legend in your own mind. i have wanted my stuff back and sometimes you dont know if someone will tell you they will mail and and wont. or wont pack it with care. ...(all my things broke once from some jerk years ago) and she seriously can want it OVER herself. ended..fin...ished. so, it does NOT have to mean she wants you. You are right, however, in this case, seems to me she either wants him back or is trying to aggravate him. If she really wanted her items back she could have simply ask him to mail it...however, she wants to come down and get it. Why??? That is unneccessary. Hell, she should have taken it when when she ended the relationship.
IfiKnewThen Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 yeah but some things take time. and you can develope more moxy after the relationship and just NOT give a chit anymore.
IfiKnewThen Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 yeah but some things take time. and you can develope more moxy after the relationship and just NOT give a darn anymore.
Author cmichael16 Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 You are right, however, in this case, seems to me she either wants him back or is trying to aggravate him. If she really wanted her items back she could have simply ask him to mail it...however, she wants to come down and get it. Why??? That is unneccessary. Hell, she should have taken it when when she ended the relationship. I think its just trying to aggrivate me, this woman uses people to get what she wants and is spoiled rotten. She knows that she could have very easily asked me to take it with me to work and leave my car unlocked, she did that several times during the first few months after the breakup when she would realize she forgot this or that. and then she said so many times "Im not driving to your house" she also knows Im not gonna break it, I am not that type of person. I had nice guy syndrome really bad. Im not saying she wants me back, thats more of a leap than I want to make, I am saying she wants contact. and if it hurts her, well maybe she should have thought of that before she played with my head. It isnt my intention to hurt her, but every time I hear from her I cant stop thinking about her. Someone has to break the cycle Yeah I know it means I am not completely over her, so what? Ill get there soon.
Author cmichael16 Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Welp, boxed up, shipped out, 12.11 not to have to ride the crazy train, worth it. Realized something today, its her birthday, dollars to dougnuts I get a voicemail or text (she cant call) asking why I didnt contact her, lol... Conductor, could you keep this train from hitting me again? thanks much appreciated...
PegNosePete Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Realized something today, its her birthday, dollars to dougnuts I get a voicemail or text (she cant call) asking why I didnt contact her, lol... Well done for not doing what most people do. That is, come on here for 2 weeks before her birthday asking "should I send her a gift/card/flowers/money/diamond ring???"! If she does ask any dumb questions like why didn't you say anything, you know the reply... NC
Author cmichael16 Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Grr, this woman is really annoying me now just got this email "Well please let me kno cause id hate to have to get a court order for me to b able to come get it" thats it... now, the box will show up on her doorstep tomorrow, but why all this crap? does she really just want her little trinkets? Here are the contents of the box: A Stocking she and I made together A Stocking she and I made for her dog 2 Candle holders we bought at dollar tree 1 Candle Lamp 2 Stuffed animals that we bought at dollar tree 2 ornaments that say "I (Heartsymbol) U" and about 20 ornaments with "Myname & Hername" on them we are talkin 20 dollars worth of crap, and I mean crap. Why the angry email? I am starting to believe she just wants her stuff, but sheesh... why so angry just because I havent responded?
Billie The Puppet Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Let her get a court order,if she feels the need, its her time and money wasted not yours, besides it'll land at her door tomorrow with the Xmas stuff. Like I said if the possession thing stands to be 6 months where you are she won't even get the court order.
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