Not the love ace Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Well, I'm sure some of you already know the slight drama that occured between my friends and I and why I am being ignored (because of my little overdose episode and being really depressed and contemplating suicide). I have gotten better since than and haven't stressed that they have been ignoring me. I just figured that they are just being complete Chicken poops and can't simply face me and are afraid of confrontation. However, today I am hurt because they all are having like a get together and doing a little movie night from what I found out through Facebook. No one bothered to invite me and it kills me because I've planned to do this for the longest time. What really bothers me is that I got word from one mutual friend who still hangs with them but is the only one who talks to me told me that they don't want to hangout with me because they just don't trust me (which KILLS me because I know I've always been trust worthy) and don't know if I'll do what I did again. This is really bothering me that they are being such wimps and afraid that I might do something again. What about my family? You think they don't worry? And for them to say they don't trust me for the countless amount of times I've been there for them just pisses me off. I'm not trying to praise myself but I seriously apologized profusely to them, was genuinely sorry and almost begged for their friendship again. Then they just want to blow me away for their selfish reasons and for something that I've only done ONE time. They are acting as if they have to put up with me ALL the time. Ugh. Sorry, I just had to rant.
Author Not the love ace Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 I know the best thing would be to just move on and trust me-I'm trying. It's just not easy for me to find new friends quickly like it is for most people despite me being a very outgoing and social person:laugh:. It just kills me that I put a lot of my emotion, a lot of effort and investment in being friends with people and now I'm just NOTHING to them. Its like they're just trying to find anyway not to deal with me and it just really urks me. Its bothers me so much that no one cares about me and just disposes of me. I know when I mess up in life and I am a person who acknowledges my wrong doings and I have lost friends whom I totally understand their reasons for not wanting to deal with me anymore. However, I've obviously grown tremendously since my teens when I was stupid and understand the value of friendship. I'm not excusing my recent OD but for anyone to hold it against me after I've profusely apologized and for the fact that I didn't even do ANYTHING physically to them or ruin them in anyway is annoying. Its been two weeks and they haven't replied to me contacting them in anyway. I feel my this treatment is underderserved but I should really move on but I'm just so tired of losing friends at this age and over them being sort of selfish and for their "self-interest". I seriously am just going to go to sleep now because I feel like flipping out and karate chopping their heads off. Sorry for the venting.
Leandro Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 If they were real friends they would invite you and hangout with you more to make sure you don't do that anymore. Don't worry about them, you will make new true friends.
Author Not the love ace Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 I know Leandro, it just kills me because it reminds of stupid high school or middle school games that friends used to play. I don't know if you have experienced it or know anyone that has but have you ever been friends at a young age with someone and then the next day they completely ignore you and act as if they don't know you. Even if they see you in person, they'll just turn a blind eye and act as if they have amnesia? They don't give you a reason or simply just tell you they don't want to be friends-that's kind of whats going on with them. I act like I don't care when I'm talking to my mutual friend who hangs out with them, I pretend it doesn't bother me and act as if its their lost. However, I just feel like I have no closure to ending the friendship with them and it just bothers me that they don't want anything to do with me for no good legit reason. I can say with all honesty that I've been a good or even great friend to them all. I have my faults but I know its nothing that can over shadow my good when it comes to them at least. All-in-all I know I wasn't ever bad or THAT bad. There's other people whom they hangout with who wouldn't be there for them like I would but they're fine with hanging with them. Ugh, I know its their lost because I know I'm a good friend and person but I'm just tired of dealing with stupid immature people and then waiting, hoping and praying for better friends which like, never happens.
Leandro Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I had friends that did that to me. When my ex left me a lot of my "friends" stopped talking to me. I was a great friend with a lot of them even before I met my ex. Oh well. After that I only had about 2 friends left. I just made 2 more. Yea don't wait for them. They are immature, just like the ones that ignore me now.
Author Not the love ace Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Why did they leave you Leandro? Sorry to hear that. For me, it feels like I broke up with my girlfriend from a year and a half ago. I have that deeply lonely, depressed feeling. It feels just as bad as a break up, if not more.
Leandro Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 I really don't know why they left me. Oh well.
Angel1111 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Hon, I have friends who get down sometimes. I have one friend in particular that contemplated suicide once. If she had made a serious attempt, the very last thing I would've done is judge her and distance myself from her. I would've seen that as a serious cry for help. I don't think these people are your friends. But, you know, as Oprah says, 'If you have one or two really close friends in your life, you're lucky.' It's not about quantity, it's quality. I know you're lonesome but these people you know aren't the answer. And that may be part of the problem. Mabye they're not people you click or connect with and you end up feeling more alone than ever. You're in a real funk right now in your life. I hope things turn around for you soon; and I believe they will. Hang in there, sweetie.
Author Not the love ace Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 You're right Angel but I don't know what to think at the same time. When I did have my overdose and episode, they DID call me and text me a bunch of times to make sure I was okay and left me some messages and seemed worried. My phone died so I wasn't able to contact them till the next day in the afternoon. So in a way I want to give them the benefit of a doubt and just let them talk to me when they are ready. In some other ways I'm just exasperated because its been over a week since I've heard anything from them. If we ever do talk again, should I bring this up to them and tell them how I feel? More than likely, I'll just leave this all behind, start over and forget about this drama.
LoveAintEverything Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Seems like you deserve a lot better friends than that...they are just straight up dicks
Vesna Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Please don't take their estrangement to heart. They are the ones with issues and it sounds like they were trying to dissmiss you for quite a while. They found their excuse. You will find new friends and will be far too busy to have anything to do with these people once should they ever need you.
Tayla Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 One- You OD and survived two- The friends who get word of this can react in many ones, one is to remove themselves if they feel the situation is not healthy at this time THree- You question that? ANd then follow up with the fact that you cant say it wont happen again.... Seriously think about it from their side if you are seeking understanding ...if though you are simply wondering how such a fabulous person like yourself can be remiss of friends then chances are...your friends are in the future times and this is a transistion to that stage....
Recommended Posts