Star Gazer Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Good lord. Star would have you wear a chastity belt on dates. Wuh? Sex has nothing to do with this situation... ?? I would dump both of them. What they have in common is that both view women as disposable. The first one doesn't care who you are, as long as you're his. Making long-term plans and joking about marriage on the first date indicates that. The second is clearly a player. Agreed, 10000%
In The Green Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 No to "Indiana". Concerning "Roy" I wouldn't nix him just yet. Yes he seems eager but have compassion for him. Think back when you've been hit with the lightning bolt, how excited you were when you met someone you REALLY liked. You get a bit stupid and over eager, feeling like a young kid. He could really be into you, if its more of the desperate angle - a few more dates will sort that out. I would explain to "Roy" that you would prefer to move a little slower and see how he behaves over a few more dates.
Cracker Jack Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 What does AFC mean? For some reason, it sounds like it stands for Annoying F*****g Chump. As for the topic, not sure here. What seems clear is that you're into Indiana a lot more than you are Roy--despite knowing he's likely a player. Hmmm....
Author GooseChaser Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Thank you all for your opinions! It really helps! I have news, guys! I just exchanged a few texts with Indiana. He started it off by asking how my Sunday was going. In his next text, he said, "No hickies next time, there were a lot of them, lol." The lol implies that he is taking it in good humor, which is good. It also make me think-- could ALL of the hickies have been from me??? Maybe he just bruises easily? The hickies I saw that I attributed to other girls were very dark, so they may have been new. I do know that I didn't see any on him in the sports bar. However, I don't remember how easy it was to see his neck there. If they were all from me, I would feel relieved, and a little silly for putting so many on him unintentionally, hehe. Well, I'll watch for them in the future; hopefully I don't have to worry about hickies from other girls again.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 I find it amusing how women often like older men, yet they are as immature as their age would suggest. Roy is an AFC and Indiana is a player, both are non-quality older men and this young girl is head over heels thinking they're great. Man that's some funny stuff right there. Hehe, I can only act my age! I'm no 30-year-old! I'l definitely treat it with caution and see how things go. Do yoy have any advice for improving one's people-picker and finding people who really are great?
carhill Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Do you have any advice for improving one's people-picker and finding people who really are great? Sure. Mistakes, lots of mistakes I found psychological therapy to be a quicker, albeit more expensive in terms of up-front cash, route to improving people-picking skills, but YMMV. BTW, I'd pick door #3.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Sure. Mistakes, lots of mistakes I found psychological therapy to be a quicker, albeit more expensive in terms of up-front cash, route to improving people-picking skills, but YMMV. BTW, I'd pick door #3. Door #3-- you mean neither? Hm. Thanks for the advice, Carhill! I went on a first date with another guy last night-- "Aaron". He is 22. He asked me out to a fancy French restaurant. The food was good, we both had some wine, and we had a nice long conversation. No kiss from him either-- dammit, haha. Another time, I guess. He must have just wanted to talk, get to know me better, and take it slow-ish (disregarding the fairly expensive dinner, which was really nice of him to invite me to). He was nice. I'm looking forward to seeing him again.
carhill Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 It's odd, and this is where 'normal' for myself might come into play as a man, but I can find a woman quite interesting and stimulating and attractive but I don't have that *feeling* of wanting to be physically intimate until we've developed intimacy on other levels. I find kissing a woman to be a very strong indicator of how I *feel*, and I do kiss those I love quite readily, both men and women. Sorry, but I got caught up on that tangent Anyway, it's up to you as to how you *perceive* these actions/inactions and how they fall in the mix which drives attraction for yourself. Is Aaron, at 22, seeming at ease with taking you to a nice restaurant for an expensive dinner? Would you say this is usual and customary in your social circle? If yes, that speaks to one aspect of compatibility. I've found, IME, some woman feel uncomfortable with my tastes in food and beverage, which trend to the adventurous, reflective of my wide travels. Others love it. It's not the food that matters, it's the underlying synergy that matters. Expand that, in Aaron's case, to include kissing. Synergy. Like Sphere said, experience....it teaches many lessons. Now, if you like men who love to talk, I know this guy .....
Author GooseChaser Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 It's odd, and this is where 'normal' for myself might come into play as a man, but I can find a woman quite interesting and stimulating and attractive but I don't have that *feeling* of wanting to be physically intimate until we've developed intimacy on other levels. I find kissing a woman to be a very strong indicator of how I *feel*, and I do kiss those I love quite readily, both men and women. Sorry, but I got caught up on that tangent Anyway, it's up to you as to how you *perceive* these actions/inactions and how they fall in the mix which drives attraction for yourself. Is Aaron, at 22, seeming at ease with taking you to a nice restaurant for an expensive dinner? Would you say this is usual and customary in your social circle? If yes, that speaks to one aspect of compatibility. I've found, IME, some woman feel uncomfortable with my tastes in food and beverage, which trend to the adventurous, reflective of my wide travels. Others love it. It's not the food that matters, it's the underlying synergy that matters. Expand that, in Aaron's case, to include kissing. Synergy. Like Sphere said, experience....it teaches many lessons. Now, if you like men who love to talk, I know this guy ..... Yes, he did seem at ease taking me to that nice restaurant. In fact, the entree I chose was about $10 less than the one that he ordered; I didn't want to make him pay too much. I got mussels, since I love seafood. I'm not used to going to restaurants like that, but I had a good time! I do like trying new things like foods, and I am adventurous! (I also want to travel someday.) We had a great conversation, too! I am looking forward to going on at least one or two more dates with each person. I have set up a first date with another new guy on Tuesday (what can I say, I'm on a roll), a second date with Indiana on Wednesday, the third date with Roy on Thursday, and to-be-determined plans for the weekend. I'm very excited and am really looking forward to it! I know I'm dating a lot of guys right now, but I'm still getting to know them, and I will give each one my full attention.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 (edited) Ouch. I just checked Facebook, and Roy is now listing himself as "in a relationship." It wasn't a fun way to find out, by the way. How sudden. That explains his response of "yo" to my last text, heh. I guess I should assume that the date on Thursday isn't happening? Haha. </3 It hurt a little, and I'm a bit disappointed that he just went and committed to someone else when we had so many plans and things-- for Thursday, for Halloween... but I'll be okay. I almost feel lead on. Oh well, clearly he isn't worth it, since he prefers someone else over me. Moving on.... Should I delete him from my Facebook? Now I have a first date with a new guy on Tuesday at the beach, a hot second date with Indiana on Wednesday , and the TBA plans for the weekend. I have yet to make new plans with another guy, "Adrian" (the one I just went to dinner with). I feel good about how things are going, and I know I'll meet someone who I click with. Edited October 19, 2010 by GooseChaser
carhill Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 You can have folks on your social networking site and just leave it alone. No need to actively delete people. Also, no need to add 'dates' to such sites. I can't imagine ever doing that. Wives, sure Enjoy your dates. Sometimes it's just raining men
Author GooseChaser Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 You can have folks on your social networking site and just leave it alone. No need to actively delete people. Also, no need to add 'dates' to such sites. I can't imagine ever doing that. Wives, sure Enjoy your dates. Sometimes it's just raining men Haha, I will enjoy them! I'm really looking forward to it! Roy ended up going to the play without me, instead going with a male friend. He says it was really bad. That doesn't change that he's still a jerk, though. I'll keep him on my Facebook-- and then he'll be able to see when I'm in a relationship with another person too, muahahaha! That might not be far away from now, actually! However, I will remove him if it starts to hurt seeing him with someone else or reading his statuses.
carhill Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Here's something the ladies of LS taught me. He hasn't earned the privilege of mattering enough to you for his facebook 'status' to hurt you. Think about that.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Here's something the ladies of LS taught me. He hasn't earned the privilege of mattering enough to you for his facebook 'status' to hurt you. Think about that. That's true! Not only has he not earned the privilege, but he never will get the opportunity again. What can I say, for him, that chance has passed! I know there are others out there who would make me #1, not just an option to fall back on! THAT is what I want!
daphne Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 It's interesting how another poster suggested Roy could end up being a flake. How intuitive. What an ass hat. You shouldn't be making plans with someone because it feels good in the moment. I once had a guy that wanted me to go to the expense and effort of visiting him in Miami last minute while he sat on his thumbs and was more than disappointed when I elected not to. I didn't hear from him again and 2 days later he was "In a relationship" on fb. I unfriended him and 2 months later he started emailing me again asking me to visit him in Italy. I was like "uh, no grazie." I have since refriended him on fb because I do not care but he doesn't get a second chance. They don't always get any smarter as they get older.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 (edited) It's interesting how another poster suggested Roy could end up being a flake. How intuitive. What an ass hat. You shouldn't be making plans with someone because it feels good in the moment. I once had a guy that wanted me to go to the expense and effort of visiting him in Miami last minute while he sat on his thumbs and was more than disappointed when I elected not to. I didn't hear from him again and 2 days later he was "In a relationship" on fb. I unfriended him and 2 months later he started emailing me again asking me to visit him in Italy. I was like "uh, no grazie." I have since refriended him on fb because I do not care but he doesn't get a second chance. They don't always get any smarter as they get older. Yeah, I was surprised that he flaked too. He seemed interested, and we had plans for Thursday. It's really disappointing that he couldn't at least wait until after then, but it shows what kind of guy he is. He won't get a second chance either. I like Indiana a lot, and figuring out that those hickies were likely all mine just helped me feel better about it. I don't mind the age gap. Hopefully he's the same way, and not just interested in me for my youth and nothing more. I think he's very attractive too. =] We had a great first date, there were sparks there, and I'm looking forward to getting to know him! Well, unless he pulls a "Roy"... Please no! I'll just hope for the best. I also thought Adrian was nice, and very giving as well. Hopefully I'll hear from him again. I'm also looking forward to meeting the other guy, "Isaac". The date at the beach sounds like it will be fun! Who knows what might happen! Edited October 19, 2010 by GooseChaser
daphne Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Hmm. I'm wondering how you could have mistaken him for having hickies on his neck that you put there.. But I'm envious. Sounds like you are having a blast with dating. It's awesome to have the options early on. You're young and you should be checking out waht's out there to see what you like and who you are compatible with and have fun with. You're excitement is contagious. Have fun!
Something_Awesome Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Pass on the second guy, I detect heart-break with him. I can understand women liking tall guys, so if that is really important to you, find another tall guy. There are so many red flags in the second guy's scenario that I'd turn my back on him and never look back.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Hmm. I'm wondering how you could have mistaken him for having hickies on his neck that you put there.. But I'm envious. Sounds like you are having a blast with dating. It's awesome to have the options early on. You're young and you should be checking out waht's out there to see what you like and who you are compatible with and have fun with. You're excitement is contagious. Have fun! See, what I think happened was I saw hickies that I put there, and I hadn't realized that I'd actually put any on him yet. Because of that, when I saw those dark hickies on him about halfway through, which were probably very, very new, I didn't consider that they may have been from me, and so I got jealous. I probably got carried away with the kissing and all, aha. I had had two drinks that night, so I was a bit under the influence, and it would have been easy for me to do that. All I know for sure is that I don't remember seeing any on his neck at the start of the night. I will give him the benefit of the doubt and just keep an eye open for it in the future, just in case I wasn't mistaken. Yeah, the nice thing about meeting so many people is that I don't get too invested in one of them. It's like the thing with Rob-- I wasn't heartbroken seeing that he was no longer available.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Pass on the second guy, I detect heart-break with him. I can understand women liking tall guys, so if that is really important to you, find another tall guy. There are so many red flags in the second guy's scenario that I'd turn my back on him and never look back. Yeah, for sure, I'm keeping my options open for now while I'm single and unattached! I will do my best to use good judgment with these guys, and I'll always keep thinking!
Author GooseChaser Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 (edited) Hi everyone! I have met a new guy (23 years old), and I think I might be at the end of my search! He is very romantic-- probably the most of the lot. He actually got me flowers! He was also giving me compliments the whole night, which I'm not used to, but was very sweet. We went to dinner, and when we walked through, we held hands. Later that night we went to a bridge on the beach, found a nice bench, and kissed. I thought the time with him was nice and balanced. He was a gentleman, but then he had passion too. At the end of the night he asked that we be exclusive and not date anyone else. I hesitated for a minute, but I like him the most out of all of the guys I have met so far, and I don't want to risk losing him by saying no. I know it's fast, but that's okay. I liked Indiana too, and we got along well, but he's 8 years older, and he lives 45 minutes away. This guy, on the other hand, is only two years older than me, and about 10 minutes away from me. The guy I went to the other dinner with was sweet too, but at some point you have to make a choice, you know? I liked him, but I didn't get as close to him. This new guy has a lot more energy and enthusiasm, and I like that. He also chooses fun places to go! I still have the option to change my mind here, but I'm pretty sure about it right now. Edited October 20, 2010 by GooseChaser
tigressA Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Eh, it does seem a little fast but when you know, you know. You know? Have fun, GC.
Cee Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 I think it's fine not to date other people while you get to know each other. In fact, I would feel safer doing it that way. But remember, it's one date. It will take a long time to know if he's a good guy and that you are truly interested in him. We'll be expecting Indiana's mournful, "She hickied me up and then didn't want a second date" Love Shack post.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 (edited) I think it's fine not to date other people while you get to know each other. In fact, I would feel safer doing it that way. But remember, it's one date. It will take a long time to know if he's a good guy and that you are truly interested in him. We'll be expecting Indiana's mournful, "She hickied me up and then didn't want a second date" Love Shack post. Nah, I had a second date with him. I had forgotten my wallet in his car sometime during our first date, so I came over a few days ago to... retrieve it. I like him too, but we do have our differences. He's about at my limit as far as age; I don't think I would date much older than 29 at this point. I think it could work if we wanted it to, though. We do get along well, and he's attractive physically and has personality. The big thing would be to make sure that he was serious about me despite my young age compared to his. I do like being exclusive with people. It does have a feeling of safety to it, and it feels good because you know you guys are not seeing anyone else. I will keep in mind that we have only been on one date, and I will continue to take my time and get to know him. I'm looking forward to it! Edited October 21, 2010 by GooseChaser
Author GooseChaser Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 Eh, it does seem a little fast but when you know, you know. You know? Have fun, GC. I'm glad to hear you approve, Tigress! Hehe. Thanks!
Recommended Posts