Insanitylater Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 OMG this is hysterical ! I've been chatting with this girl on the dating site off and on, just friendly chat, helping me with my profile a bit. So like a week ago, I changed my profile and pics. I sent her an email, telling her of the change, to check it out and I quote "What do you think? Let me know how it looks now" She read it the next day. Its been 6 days with no response, no IM. She's been on multiple times throughout the week. I just IM'd her now, and asked if we are done talking, she acts totally surprised, (as they all do) She doesnt say shes been busy, doesnt say she forgot to respond, her answer . . " I didnt know you expected a response " LOL this is the mentality I am dealing with on here. She then goes on saying, "I'm in a good mood, next time we IM each other have something nice to say " Is it me or does she have a severe issue with admitting fault? Now I understand we arent dating or any of that crap, BUT two mature adults communicating with each other, there should be a certain level of respect and common courtesy. But when you are online, its like people throw that right out the window, and flip out when you hold them accountable for their actions.
hearttobreak Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 She changed her mind about you. Happens most men. Most women, as Katy Perry puts it, are hot n cold. Its just how it is.
Author Insanitylater Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 She changed her mind about you. Happens most men. Most women, as Katy Perry puts it, are hot n cold. Its just how it is. No she didnt change her mind, she still wanted to chat with me in IM after I brought it up She just wanted to move past the fact that she never replied back. She said several times, that "shes in a good mood today, why do you have to ruin it" Thats what people like her do, they discount what they did, and look for a way to project the issue back at you, and make you out to be the one causing the problem. She could have easliy lied and said sorry I was busy, but being the mental case she is, saying sorry shows fault, she couldnt even bring herself to admit that.
sagetalk Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 No she didnt change her mind, she still wanted to chat with me in IM after I brought it up She just wanted to move past the fact that she never replied back. She said several times, that "shes in a good mood today, why do you have to ruin it" Thats what people like her do, they discount what they did, and look for a way to project the issue back at you, and make you out to be the one causing the problem. She could have easliy lied and said sorry I was busy, but being the mental case she is, saying sorry shows fault, she couldnt even bring herself to admit that. I've found that even when they lose interest they still like chatting. If that's what you enjoy, I'm not going to stop you, but be careful in thinking she's still into you. It's rare for a girl to blow off a guy that she wants badly. To me, chatting shows boredom, showing up for dates shows interest. Most people will not admit wrong doing even when caught, welcome to the world of selfishness and pride.
tami-chan Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 She thinks you are not really interested in her and was just using her as a sounding board to get other women to be interested in you. She is being passive/aggressive about it..I say. chat with her if you want to, but only if you have nothing better to do..!
brainygirl Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I am not a fan of spying to see when people read messages or replied to messages . . its kinda stalkery. If I had pulled something like that it might have been because I didn't like the pics and couldn't think of a nice way to communicate that or I may have linked in from my email account to check a message but didn't have time to deal with the pictures. Or I had a busy week and forgot about the completely frivolous project I was helping a stranger with. She does't really owe you a huge drawn out apology over this, she wants to get past it a nd still be net friends. Leave it alone.
Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I do that sometimes, and its only because Im in a bad mood and dont feel like chatting with him. So even if Im logged on, I will ignore him for a while... sometimes I do it on purpose because I want him to come and chase after me...Lol I know that sound pretty immature but I like to test them sometimes and see how much they like me... Other times, its because I dont feel like it...Just give her time, and when she's ready to talk she'll come around.
D-Lish Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Thats what people like her do, they discount what they did, and look for a way to project the issue back at you, and make you out to be the one causing the problem. Correct me if I am wrong here, but you were the one that made it out to be a problem for you and then blamed her for having the issue. You obviously expected a response and didn't get one- how is that her issue and not yours? What you are not seeing in this exchange is that you have the issue, not her. You were the one looking for a response from her about your pic, and you didn't get one so it got you riled up. When you contacted her again after she didn't get back to you to tell her you're upset that she didn't get back to you- you made it into a problem. In the future, when someone doesn't get back to you, cut them loose. You reacted to her non-response and made it an issue... Your problem. She's on the other end of your IM thinking to herself "wow, this dude I don't even know, that only wants to pick my brain on how to pick up other women is making an issue of things because I am not responding quick enough". Honestly, you said yourself, you are chatting her up to give you advice on your profile, correct? Maybe she is just thinking to herself that she's being used, because you've never made a move on her??? I fail to see how she is the one with the problem here. It stands to reason that she's attracted to you and might very well be tired of being your sounding board to help you attract other women. You're only thinking about what you want, and what you can get out of this interaction. I'd say her response (or lack of) is both typical and reasonable. She's interested in you, and you're picking her brain about how to attract other women that aren't her. I'd be put off too.
sanskrit Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Is it me or does she have a severe issue with admitting fault? Surely this isn't a new thing for you to experience.
porter218 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Correct me if I am wrong here, but you were the one that made it out to be a problem for you and then blamed her for having the issue. You obviously expected a response and didn't get one- how is that her issue and not yours? What you are not seeing in this exchange is that you have the issue, not her. You were the one looking for a response from her about your pic, and you didn't get one so it got you riled up. When you contacted her again after she didn't get back to you to tell her you're upset that she didn't get back to you- you made it into a problem. In the future, when someone doesn't get back to you, cut them loose. You reacted to her non-response and made it an issue... Your problem. She's on the other end of your IM thinking to herself "wow, this dude I don't even know, that only wants to pick my brain on how to pick up other women is making an issue of things because I am not responding quick enough". Honestly, you said yourself, you are chatting her up to give you advice on your profile, correct? Maybe she is just thinking to herself that she's being used, because you've never made a move on her??? I fail to see how she is the one with the problem here. It stands to reason that she's attracted to you and might very well be tired of being your sounding board to help you attract other women. You're only thinking about what you want, and what you can get out of this interaction. I'd say her response (or lack of) is both typical and reasonable. She's interested in you, and you're picking her brain about how to attract other women that aren't her. I'd be put off too. I was about to say the exact same thing but D-lish put it better. Seriously dude, why are you contacting women on a dating site asking them on advice to pick up other women....then getting all upset because she didn't feel like responding to one of your messages:confused:. I ignore messages that appear to be a waste of my time....even if I have conversed with them before. If I were her I would be annoyed by you still trying to contact me and then, even worse, you are trying to start an argument. Weird!
Angel1111 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 She's being ridiculous. On the other hand, I have to say that I can't stand IMing or sites where a person knows your every move. Way too invasive for my tastes. Regardless, she should've answered your email.
porter218 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 She's being ridiculous. On the other hand, I have to say that I can't stand IMing or sites where a person knows your every move. Way too invasive for my tastes. Regardless, she should've answered your email. Why? He isn't trying to date her and this is a dating site he is talking about. Why should she waste her time when she could be responding to messages of men that are actually interested in her? Personally i think he sounds like the ridiculous one here.
D-Lish Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 She's being ridiculous. On the other hand, I have to say that I can't stand IMing or sites where a person knows your every move. Way too invasive for my tastes. Regardless, she should've answered your email. Why should she have answered his e-mail? I don't get such reasoning. Did you read the entire post? He's looking for advice from her on how to attract OTHER women besides HER. He's using her as a sounding board on how to be more attractive to other women and he's mad that she didn't respond asap and then blaming her for being the "typical flake". The OP is thinking of nothing but himself and his own advancement- he has no regard and more alarming, NO INSIGHT, into the situation other than how to meet his own needs. It's incredibly narcissistic when you read into it.
Author Insanitylater Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 Seriously dude, why are you contacting women on a dating site asking them on advice to pick up other women because it was HER idea to give me some pointers. She told me to shoot her an email after I changed it so she could check it out. I said in my post it was friendly chat between us, we are not attracted to each other.
Author Insanitylater Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 (edited) She's being ridiculous. On the other hand, I have to say that I can't stand IMing or sites where a person knows your every move. Way too invasive for my tastes. Regardless, she should've answered your email. Hey look at that, a smart unbiased female ! Its rare on this site It is very funny with posts like this, how easy it is to weed out the male bashers, and the true open-minded, honest people that take into account just the facts of the situation. Edited October 18, 2010 by Insanitylater
porter218 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 because it was HER idea to give me some pointers. She told me to shoot her an email after I changed it so she could check it out. I said in my post it was friendly chat between us, we are not attracted to each other. Well she is probably just trying to be nice, but honestly doesn't want to be bothered. More then likely she has been answering messages to guys with actual potential and has put aside any friendly chating. No explanation is due.
D-Lish Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 because it was HER idea to give me some pointers. She told me to shoot her an email after I changed it so she could check it out. I said in my post it was friendly chat between us, we are not attracted to each other.\ You are all over the place... It is a DATING site!!! You don't go there to make friends!?? It doesn't matter who approched who, how it started- once it becomes clear to both of you that you aren't going to date- why does this girl owe you ANYTHING? Regardless, it doesn't change the fact that you are the one catapulting this issue into "ridiculous" territory. She just chose not respond to something- you've created a big issue about it. From an outsider looking in, it's hard to understand why you are blaming her- this is clearly YOUR issue. You don't want to date her, you just want her advice in so far as it can benefit YOU.
Author Insanitylater Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 Well she is probably just trying to be nice, but honestly doesn't want to be bothered. More then likely she has been answering messages to guys with actual potential and has put aside any friendly chating. No explanation is due. We've chatted maybe 7 times in IM At the end of each IM she says, hit me up anytime, I like chatting. I know none of you will believe it, but the women that take their head out of their a** long enough have been very fond of talking to me. Mostly because I enjoy actual conversation, and they dont have to keep the "male pig defenses" up. Thats one of the problems with a lot of women, they blanket EVERY male that comes within 50 ft of them as a potential pig.
Author Insanitylater Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 \ You don't want to date her, you just want her advice in so far as it can benefit YOU. How is it me that wants the advice when it was her idea? AND I actually told her no thanks more than once, and she encouraged me to do it.
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Maybe your new pictures really sucked and that caught her off guard and didn't know what to say Why are you using potential dating material to see if your profile is good.. dude..
Author Insanitylater Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 Maybe your new pictures really sucked and that caught her off guard and didn't know what to say Why are you using potential dating material to see if your profile is good.. dude.. Since you cant figure it out on your own, I'll tell you , she not potential
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Since you cant figure it out on your own, I'll tell you , she not potential You get what you pay for dude...
D-Lish Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Since you cant figure it out on your own, I'll tell you , she not potential Then nothing to bitch about. If she has no potential, you have no reason to expect anything at all from her.
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Then nothing to bitch about. If she has no potential, you have no reason to expect anything at all from her. I agree with D-lish... and then to top it off you throw out there that she has problems accepting fault.. WTF.. you have no idea who she is and what fault is there for her to accept ? You said there was no potential.. she showed you no potential... I say you next her and move on from this...
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