spartanfan1ta Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 First off I am a 52 yr old male, divorced 2 years 2 daughters both grown and on their own. The woman I recently started dating is 43, divorced a year, 2 kids, age 21 daughter and a 6 yr old son. The daughter is from an ex bf, the son is from her ex husband. The ex bf abused her physically and abandoned the daughter. The ex husband cheated on her. She was also date raped by a past bf and acquired genital herpes. her childhood was a mess. Her Mom has been married 4 times. She was often left alone when she was young while her mom was out with guys. Her bio dad left when she was 8 and she hasnt heard from since. She was then adopted by moms second husband and he abandoned her as well. Im already seeing a lot of trust issues. Her self esteem is very low. She suffers from anxiety and takes medication for it when it gets bad.
hearttobreak Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 It will probably be okay through the honeymoon faze (3 months), after that, it will go down hill and be your fault, regardless if it is or not. How I know? Was in a similar relationship. She had a wonderful teenager, second divorce, was abused badly by one of her husbands, bankruptcy, and medical problems at the ripe old age of 32. Save yourself the agony and heart ache and pass.
colliejoanie Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Is she getting help? All that stuff is huge and yes, if she hasn't dealt with it, it'll just keep tumbling up.........speaking for myself, someone who has a similar past, I am trying SO HARD to deal with all the BS of my childhood and past relationships so I can make a go of it was a decent guy. I pray the guy I'm dating hasn't weighed my past baggage against the person I am today, and the person I am working at becoming tomorrow....... If that were the case, I would think twice about telling anyone about my past, and that would be sad. Again, if she's getting help and if you're willing to go through that process with her, and if you have true feelings for her, I would hope you would stay.
ascendotum Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 You would have a much better insight than any of us anonymous posters here as to what she is really like, as you have the benefit of face to face time with her. Though that said I also agree with the poster above as regards people not always revealing their true selves (issues) in the initial dating stages of a relationship. There is significant likelihood a lot of emotional baggage here and zanax/ssri's only do so much. If I was offered a blind date with a women and she was described to me as you did with this woman, I would knock the offer back. If I saw her picture and she was an attractive women, it would just take me 10 seconds longer to say no I was not interested.
phineas Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I'd be running as soon as I heard "genital herpes."
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