TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Yup, here I am thinkin bout her...on a Saturday...I guess I'm just so terrified that she's gonna go out tonight an meet some guy. I mean, thats prob what it is, I'm honestly scared as hell she'll meet someone. I really don't want that, I couldn't handle that. I still love her so much. I just can't take the thought of her being with someone else. Goin out to the same places she went with me. Some other guy sharing her bed. I just can't do it. I can't. I miss her so much... I'm a bit drunk. Again. God I want to speak to her. Just to hear her voice. I'll honestly never find someone as perfect, wonderful. I mean, we just got on so well. She was meant for me, I know she was. What the f*ck am I gonna do now?! How the f*ck will I ever survive this?!?! F*ck...I'm ruined...
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 (edited) While I'm not still in the stage of obsessing over my ex each and every minute, I don't much care for the weekends. No one "special" to share the autumn splendor with, not enough $$$ to go out drinking alone at the bars. Eventually, your ex will meet someone else. If you are so thoroughly convinced that you can't take the idea of that happening, the best thing you can do, perhaps the only thing, is to avoid keeping tabs on her! It took me almost two years before I was comfortable checking up on my ex. By that point, she had just gotten out of a relationship with the guy she left me for the first time, who as it turns out, was gay. Haha, whoa! How did that feel finding that out?? I gotta say, I'd feel pretty damn good! I don't have any tabs on her. At all. Thats what hurts. I haven't spoken to her in 6 months, and it kills me everyday. All I want to do is talk to her again and ask her how her day was. But I can't. I can't ever call her again, I've lost that option now...I still can't believe it sometimes....how do you lose the best thing you ever had? How can that be taken away from you? I don't get it. I did everything I could, I tried so f*cking hard! How could it all go, just like that? I wish I had the option of calling her. I wish she'd text me again. Just say hi. She must be with someone new by now. She's not the kind of girl who would wait 6 months before moving on. I heard from a mutual friend that she went out on a date less than 2 weeks after we broke up. What a slap in the face that was! 2 f*cking weeks?! Jesus Christ. What the hell did I mean then? I just want to ask her...I want to be in her apartment again, with her. I don't want her to be with any other guy. None of them deserve someone as amazing as her. The guys she knows are sex obsessed *******s who don't care about what an incredible person she is... Edited October 16, 2010 by TheUnthoughtKnown Drunk - lots of spelling mistakes
Patrice Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 This is what you do for YOU ... lay off the booze, get yourself exercising, make yourself feel better about YOU. If you waste away, how attractive are you going to be to her anyway? In the process, you will deal with the grief of the loss .. but, be a better YOU.
ShannonMI Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 (edited) Yup, here I am thinkin bout her...on a Saturday...I guess I'm just so terrified that she's gonna go out tonight an meet some guy. I mean, thats prob what it is, I'm honestly scared as hell she'll meet someone. I really don't want that, I couldn't handle that. I still love her so much. I just can't take the thought of her being with someone else. Goin out to the same places she went with me. Some other guy sharing her bed. I just can't do it. I can't. I miss her so much... I'm a bit drunk. Again. God I want to speak to her. Just to hear her voice. I'll honestly never find someone as perfect, wonderful. I mean, we just got on so well. She was meant for me, I know she was. What the f*ck am I gonna do now?! How the f*ck will I ever survive this?!?! F*ck...I'm ruined... You're drinking again?! Don't do it!! This is part of the reason you feel like sh*t! I know what you mean about your ex being meant for you. I feel that way about my ex, but it's obviously not the case. They aren't with us anymore. You aren't ruined. You will be ruined if you keep drinking though! Put the bottle down! I've talked to you about this before. Weekends do suck. I agree. Can you hang out with friends without involving alcohol? Edited October 17, 2010 by ShannonMI
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 (edited) You're drinking again?! Don't do it!! This is part of the reason you feel like sh*t! I know what you mean about your ex being meant for you. I feel that way about my ex, but it's obviously not the case. They aren't with us anymore. You aren't ruined. You will be ruined if you keep drinking though! Put the bottle down! I've talked to you about this before. Weekends do suck. I agree. Can you hang out with friends without involving alcohol? Drinking...I don't know how to explain it. It can help you and hurt you at times like this. It takes the edge off, and stops you from throwing your fists at walls sometimes. But others it just makes you throw your fists a little bit harder, and thats what happened to me tonight... It's the weekends that do this to me. I just keep wondering where she is, who she's with, if she's sleeping with some other guy now, if she's told him any of the things she's told me. I spent 3 years gettin so close to her. I felt like she was the closest thing in my whole world and I loved her so much. Why should some other guy step in and take her? He couldn't love her as much as I do. He'll never be able to be for her what I was. What I could have been if she'd given me half a f*cking chance! Hmm, see Shannon the problem with hangin out with non-alcoholic drinkin friends is that I'm going to want to talk an vent an allow this pain and torture to manifest, and my friends don't wanna see that. They don't want to see me crying, punching walls an throwing sh*t around my apartment. They don't want to hear me moan endlessly about how the best thing that's ever happened to me is now lost completely, forever. There's no one to get this out too. Not anymore...my friends think that grieving for 6 months is overkill. I told them I've seen people on this site still trying to get over their ex's after years and they just cannot comprehend that. It's just me on my own, and Mr. Jack Daniels, who will listen and help me through it. Edited October 17, 2010 by TheUnthoughtKnown drunk misstakes
Leandro Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 There's no one to get this out too. Not anymore...my friends think that grieving for 6 months is overkill. I told them I've seen people on this site still trying to get over their ex's after years and they just cannot comprehend that. Before my break up I didn't understand how people were still not over their ex'es after years apart, but now that it has happen to me I understand. I see thing differently.
skydiveaddict Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Yup, here I am thinkin bout her...on a Saturday...I guess I'm just so terrified that she's gonna go out tonight an meet some guy. I mean, thats prob what it is, I'm honestly scared as hell she'll meet someone. I really don't want that, I couldn't handle that. I still love her so much. I just can't take the thought of her being with someone else. Goin out to the same places she went with me. Some other guy sharing her bed. I just can't do it. I can't. I miss her so much... I'm a bit drunk. Again. God I want to speak to her. Just to hear her voice. I'll honestly never find someone as perfect, wonderful. I mean, we just got on so well. She was meant for me, I know she was. What the f*ck am I gonna do now?! How the f*ck will I ever survive this?!?! F*ck...I'm ruined... You're not ruined. I feel exactly like you do. The only girl I ever truly loved is gone for good. I will never find another like her, nor will I ever try to. But somehow we will survive this. It's happened to many many others besides us and they made it through. So will we.
thatsonlyme Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 You guys really need to change the way you think! I've done it and I feel so much better now, less than two months after break up! If I could do it, you can do it too! Just to illustrate my situation, I moved to this country 5 years ago, she was the first person I met, we've built everything together, I've never had any friends except for mutual friends, no memories on my own, nothing! Never dated someone in this country, never approached a girl, nothing! She was my whole world and without her I was lost! I suffered, I hoped she will come back, I cried every night... I was obsessed, when we met at our old place I checked browser history on our computer, recent files... She watched our favorite photos on multiple occasions. It gave me hope. Somehow I decided to find not so good things about her, and I've found plenty. I got to the point where I realized I don't want to be with that person! Yes, I still miss the person I thought she was, but guess what, that person died or maybe even never existed, except in my head. She was not perfect! If she was, she would've been here with me now! nobody is perfect! I'm not perfect! Force yourself to go out, do things on your own. It's hard in the beginning but you'll eventually get used to it. I'm not really a person of a strong will or self esteem, but I've made it through! Am I happy? no. But I'm doing good on my own. There is nobody to slow me down. And somebody will come along. Have no doubt about it. The better you feel about yourself, more people will notice you. This is what I did today. Saturday night, I had no plans really but I decided to go out anyway. So I decided to change my style a little bit. Spiky hair, 5 o'clock shadow, definitely not my style and I thought I look ridiculous but who gives a s**t! I dressed up relatively nice and went to this bar where I used to hang out with my ex. It was early so I knew she was not gonna be there. I know bartenders there so when I walked in I felt good because I was the guy who knows people and gets hook up. It made me feel less like a lone loser sitting at the bar. I ordered some food and drinks and ended up having a nice conversation with some tourists who visit this place once every year. I don't know s**t about sports but we still talked about the game even though I admitted that I don't even understand what is it all about! I'm f***n eastern european and I don't even watch soccer, let alone football! There were some new hostesses there and I caught them looking at me. I still have no guts t approach a girl, but at least I'm being noticed. I don't feel like Bob Thornton in "the man who wasn't there" anymore! Then I spoke to my friends and they came over for few drinks. We had a good time and then we had a nice walk in the city. Then we walked back to our cars which were parked right in front of this bar, said our good byes and as I started walking towards my car something amazing happened to me. Something that boosted my self confidence 500%! This amazing hot girl was walking down the street with a friend and as we were passing by she looked me straight into my eyes and just kept looking. I was looking at her and as we passed each other we both turned around and kept looking! We kept walking than we both turned around one more time. I know I'm a total sucker, I couldn't think of anything to say at the moment so I just got into my car and drove off. I wanted to offer them a ride but as I said, I'm a sucker! Still it felt SO GOOD! I don't think I've ever had it happen in my life, a girl who looked back at me. Suddenly I felt attractive. I know I have to work on myself a lot, especially my communication and social skills, but I can definitely attract women! My ex made me feel miserable and unattractive. Well I'm not. Just don't give up people! Work out, get yourself in shape, change the way you dress, change the way you look, nothing drastic, small changes can make people notice you. It will make you feel better. I'm not saying I'm completely healed and I still do have my moments when I feel ****ty, but it's getting better every day! I told my friends that I don't wanna talk about her anymore and if I start talking I gave them a permission to slap me in my face! And you will find a better partner, we all will. I'm not sure about our exes though. They will all get what they deserve. I know I did. I was a dumper and I made a person who loved me suffer. I deserved whatever happened to me.
EricaH329 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I want you to think about when you are sober and you think of her. Now, I want you to think about when you are drunk and think of her. Do you notice a difference? Do you realize that you are seriously torturing yourself by continuing to drink during this time?? I did the same thing, for awhile. A few months (and tons of tears) later, I realized that drinking was only holding me back from moving on. I was putting myself through so much more heartache than necessary. But... just as I did... you'll be stubborn and have to realize this on your own. Do you want to continue to feel this way? If so, then keep picking that bottle up. If not, put it down and focus on things that actually pertain to your life right now. Unfortunately, she is not one of those things anymore. Time to focus on your life now.
Username37 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Before my break up I didn't understand how people were still not over their ex'es after years apart, but now that it has happen to me I understand. I see thing differently. I agree. I didn't understand the broken hearted too. I would tell them the typical "more fishes in the sea" crap and now that I'm broken hearted, I realize that it's tough. I too see things TOTALLY differently.
ShannonMI Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Drinking...I don't know how to explain it. It can help you and hurt you at times like this. It takes the edge off, and stops you from throwing your fists at walls sometimes. But others it just makes you throw your fists a little bit harder, and thats what happened to me tonight... It's the weekends that do this to me. I just keep wondering where she is, who she's with, if she's sleeping with some other guy now, if she's told him any of the things she's told me. I spent 3 years gettin so close to her. I felt like she was the closest thing in my whole world and I loved her so much. Why should some other guy step in and take her? He couldn't love her as much as I do. He'll never be able to be for her what I was. What I could have been if she'd given me half a f*cking chance! Hmm, see Shannon the problem with hangin out with non-alcoholic drinkin friends is that I'm going to want to talk an vent an allow this pain and torture to manifest, and my friends don't wanna see that. They don't want to see me crying, punching walls an throwing sh*t around my apartment. They don't want to hear me moan endlessly about how the best thing that's ever happened to me is now lost completely, forever. There's no one to get this out too. Not anymore...my friends think that grieving for 6 months is overkill. I told them I've seen people on this site still trying to get over their ex's after years and they just cannot comprehend that. It's just me on my own, and Mr. Jack Daniels, who will listen and help me through it. This post upsets me:( Especially the "Mr. Jack Daniels" bit. We are here for you to vent and talk. I understand what you mean about friends being tired of hearing the same thing over and over. I talk to my friends about my breakup and they are all understanding, but I'm sure secretly they want me to shut the f*ck up about it. I try not to talk too much about it to them anymore. Maybe if you hang out with your friends, you can just talk about other things. Use LS to vent and talk about your breakup. Or pick one really close friend to vent to. Someone who is super understanding of what you are going through. If this doesn't help, then maybe therapy would be something you would consider?? I don't want you to keep drinking. It's not good for you. You are going to develop a dependency to Mr. Jack Daniels and that is the last thing you need. He is definitely not your friend! I've said all these things to you before.
stillafool Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I would always psych myself out after a breakup. I would tell myself, they are already with someone else, they don't love me and never did, and I'm just a fool if I believe we are getting back together. Everytime that person would enter my head I would repeat the above over and over to myself. Then I would change all contact information so I wouldn't know if they tried to contact me or not. Believe it or not, this works and will help you move on. You have to pretend they are dead.
flyguy23 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I feel the exact same way as you OP, I hate the weekends. My ex always texts or calls during the week and when the weekend comes she doesn't. I know she is with other guys so it sucks to think of her. But last night I went out and got attention from girls and got a number. That made me feel better about myself and took my mind off of my ex. You should do the same man, just get out and meet other girls and you will find yourself thinking of her less and less. I barely think of her anymore and I am starting to sleep better. Good luck bro
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 This post upsets me:( Especially the "Mr. Jack Daniels" bit. We are here for you to vent and talk. I understand what you mean about friends being tired of hearing the same thing over and over. I talk to my friends about my breakup and they are all understanding, but I'm sure secretly they want me to shut the f*ck up about it. I try not to talk too much about it to them anymore. Maybe if you hang out with your friends, you can just talk about other things. Use LS to vent and talk about your breakup. Or pick one really close friend to vent to. Someone who is super understanding of what you are going through. If this doesn't help, then maybe therapy would be something you would consider?? I don't want you to keep drinking. It's not good for you. You are going to develop a dependency to Mr. Jack Daniels and that is the last thing you need. He is definitely not your friend! I've said all these things to you before. I know you have, Shannon, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it. I got wrapped up in thoughts about her and then I started wondering how the hell I got this bad. I honestly never used to be like this. I used to be such a fun guy. I was the guy you knew you could count on for a good night out, a fun party. How the hell did I turn into this depressing loser who can't keep it together for a whole week? Why do I fall to pieces every single weekend? Life shouldn't be like this. Christ, I'm young and I feel I'm losing everything. Feel I've lost everything. How can everything seem to revolve around one person????? She's one f*cking woman on a planet populated by billions? Sooo, I got more in more wrapped up in my own head an before I knew it I had the whiskey out an the depressing music on...a few hours later I was throwing things and punching walls. I'm going over to a friends house later to help him unpack, he's just moved house. Maybe I'll feel a bit better. I've been getting worse and worse each day. I checked her Facebook for the first time in 6 months today...she has a new picture. She looks happy. Why did I do that? God....I'm suck a f*cking loser...
ShannonMI Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I know you have, Shannon, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it. I got wrapped up in thoughts about her and then I started wondering how the hell I got this bad. I honestly never used to be like this. I used to be such a fun guy. I was the guy you knew you could count on for a good night out, a fun party. How the hell did I turn into this depressing loser who can't keep it together for a whole week? Why do I fall to pieces every single weekend? Life shouldn't be like this. Christ, I'm young and I feel I'm losing everything. Feel I've lost everything. How can everything seem to revolve around one person????? She's one f*cking woman on a planet populated by billions? Sooo, I got more in more wrapped up in my own head an before I knew it I had the whiskey out an the depressing music on...a few hours later I was throwing things and punching walls. I'm going over to a friends house later to help him unpack, he's just moved house. Maybe I'll feel a bit better. I've been getting worse and worse each day. I checked her Facebook for the first time in 6 months today...she has a new picture. She looks happy. Why did I do that? God....I'm suck a f*cking loser... Wow you really hate yourself right now and that is awful. STOP!!! YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!!! You are going through a really sh*tty time right now. Cut yourself some f*cking slack, would you?? There is no reason to keep beating the sh*t out of yourself like this. It's heartbreaking to read it. Like you said, there are BILLIONS of girls in the world and you will find another one. Obviously your ex is not the one. I know right now it feels like she is, but SHE ISN'T! You need to keep yourself occupied during the weekends. Don't drink. You have to give yourself time to heal from all of this. You will return to being the happy, fun loving guy you once were. It just takes time. I know this all sounds like bullsh*t, but believe me you will be alright. No more Mr. Jack Daniels, though! He is your enemy, not your friend!
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Wow you really hate yourself right now and that is awful. STOP!!! YOU ARE NOT A LOSER!!! You are going through a really sh*tty time right now. Cut yourself some f*cking slack, would you?? There is no reason to keep beating the sh*t out of yourself like this. It's heartbreaking to read it. Like you said, there are BILLIONS of girls in the world and you will find another one. Obviously your ex is not the one. I know right now it feels like she is, but SHE ISN'T! You need to keep yourself occupied during the weekends. Don't drink. You have to give yourself time to heal from all of this. You will return to being the happy, fun loving guy you once were. It just takes time. I know this all sounds like bullsh*t, but believe me you will be alright. No more Mr. Jack Daniels, though! He is your enemy, not your friend! I know. But I'm sick of feeling so angry and hurt and sorry for myself. Booze just takes the edge off sometimes. It helps. I hate being so down on myself. I never thought a woman would do this to me, but she just seemed so special. I never thought there'd be a day when I could never text her or call her or talk to her. She told me she'd always be there for me. I don't even get to say hi to her now. That's all gone to me. I'll never find someone as incredible as she was, nor someone I connect with quite as much as I connect with her. I think I have a serious problem. I don't know. I just can't stop thinking about her. Everything reminds me of her! Everything! I mean, Christ, what do I do? How do I stop thinkin bout her? I need to live my life again, but I don't think I can unless she's part of it. I haven't met any girls in the last 6 months that come close to how amazing she was... Sorry for the rant, Shannon. I'll be okay, I'm just really f*cked up right now.
ShannonMI Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I know. But I'm sick of feeling so angry and hurt and sorry for myself. Booze just takes the edge off sometimes. It helps. I hate being so down on myself. I never thought a woman would do this to me, but she just seemed so special. I never thought there'd be a day when I could never text her or call her or talk to her. She told me she'd always be there for me. I don't even get to say hi to her now. That's all gone to me. I'll never find someone as incredible as she was, nor someone I connect with quite as much as I connect with her. I think I have a serious problem. I don't know. I just can't stop thinking about her. Everything reminds me of her! Everything! I mean, Christ, what do I do? How do I stop thinkin bout her? I need to live my life again, but I don't think I can unless she's part of it. I haven't met any girls in the last 6 months that come close to how amazing she was... Sorry for the rant, Shannon. I'll be okay, I'm just really f*cked up right now. I feel the same way. My ex was my everything. My whole life revolved around him. When we broke up I had to adjust to the fact that I couldn't call him everyday. I couldn't see him. I couldn't go to him when I was sad. I couldn't just TALK to him. It was horrible. He did say from the beginning of the breakup that he wanted to be there for me as a friend, but I couldn't do that. I was still so in love with him. I STILL love the cheating pr*ck! How ridiculous is that? It will get better in time, though. I am nowhere near healed from this, but I'm doing better. It's been 5 months. I'm on anti-depressants (actually always have been, but I've been given additional medication to help get me through this) I'm seeing a therapist. The whole 9 yards. I do go out on occasion and drink a little, but I don't drink to access. I would suggest you do the same. Actually, don't drink at all. Therapy helps. You probably don't want to go down that road, but it wouldn't hurt to look into it.
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 I feel the same way. My ex was my everything. My whole life revolved around him. When we broke up I had to adjust to the fact that I couldn't call him everyday. I couldn't see him. I couldn't go to him when I was sad. I couldn't just TALK to him. It was horrible. He did say from the beginning of the breakup that he wanted to be there for me as a friend, but I couldn't do that. I was still so in love with him. I STILL love the cheating pr*ck! How ridiculous is that? It will get better in time, though. I am nowhere near healed from this, but I'm doing better. It's been 5 months. I'm on anti-depressants (actually always have been, but I've been given additional medication to help get me through this) I'm seeing a therapist. The whole 9 yards. I do go out on occasion and drink a little, but I don't drink to access. I would suggest you do the same. Actually, don't drink at all. Therapy helps. You probably don't want to go down that road, but it wouldn't hurt to look into it. Actually, therapy is an idea I've liked the sound of for a while. I did it when I was younger coz I went through a difficult time and I needed the support. I would consider it again. Wow, he cheated on you? I don't know how I would deal with that. I'd probably self destruct. I hope you're doing okay though, Shannon. I'm feeling a little bit better now. Sorry for this whole rant. I just can't deal with the weekends. I keep wishing I could speak to her again. How do you move on, you know? She represented a part of my life that is literally just dead now. I can't ever go back to it...things like this should never happen.
EyeAlone Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 I never thought a woman would do this to me, but she just seemed so special.This is the first thing that came to mind when I read your post. To be honest, I always tear up when I read that post from McGrupp because I know that deep down, it's 100% true although it doesn't seem like that right now. You're not alone at all. My life outside of school revolved around my ex and now I'm completely bored. I don't know what to do with myself. I can't recall how I spent my weekends and weeknights before my ex. Hell, I was probably moping around like I am now. Anyway, I second the therapy idea. You at least won't feel guilty complaining around them because that's their job to listen to you.
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