sica Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Let me give a little back story to help out. I've been part of a social circle for several years now which includes my best friend, her husband and her husband's friends. One of the husband's friends has always been very cold to me, sometimes to the point of just ignoring me all together. I have always noticed this behavior but it didn't really let it bother me. I get along very well with everyone else in the group including the husband's other male friends. About a year ago this guy went off on me in a bar because of a joke I made about wrestling. I was completely uncalled for and I'm pretty sure he was just using me as a sounding board because he was pissed about something else. I was terribly embarrassed. That was the last straw and I decided not to be around this guy anymore. My best friend understood, she and her husband had noticed his behavior too. At the beginning of summer I ended up letting bygones be bygones and hanging out with the whole group again, too much stuff to do in summer not to. He hasn't been rude at all, we have actually had conversations. I thought he probably felt bad about the way he acted and was trying to get along. Things were fine until a couple of weekends ago. He has started with the rude comments, ignoring and interrupting me when I'm talking again. I have always thought the this guy didn't like me because I am not attractive. I am not interested in him and he is not interested in me. I just want to be able to hang out with my friends without feeling like alternately ignored and attacked. No one else in this group acts this way. Can anyone offer any insight as to why he picks on me?
Not the love ace Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.
Not the love ace Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 This is weird and I've been in a similar situation before. From what I found out the person hated me because I reminded them very much of someone they hated in the past and just decided to take it out on me. So silly but I didn't put up with it and addressed it to the group and they eventually kind told him to put up or shut up. He either just dislikes you for no reason (some people are like that), is just jealous of you for whatever reason or maybe you remind him of someone he despises. Whatever the reason you really shouldn't tolerate that if you're going to be hanging out with the same mutual friends. If he has nothing to say he just shouldn't say it and make things uncomfortable for you. Bring it up to your friends and hopefully you all can resolve this.
bee55 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 (edited) you may have any situation with this guy in the past and you don't take care for the mater, no body do this unless he got a bad thing from you. you are beautiful and attractive don't think about this! you should try to praise him and praise his interests a lot, every time he interrupt you or make something bad, face him with thanks and praise. also try to ask him about everything. doing this you may feel bored at the begin but it could make fine result i hope you got it!! Edited October 17, 2010 by bee55
paddletennis Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I would just ask him. Next time you're all together, when he gets weird, say,"can I talk to you for a minute?", and take him outside and tell him how YOU feel. Don't accuse him of being rude, just say "I get the feeling that you don't like me, and I'm wondering what it is or what I have done to make you feel that way". This will give him a chance to speak up, or at the very least, know that you have been hurt by the way he acts.
DarthJasper Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Or you could just tell him to get bent... He sounds like some bully who never grew up and targets you for what ever imagined reason he thinks you deserve his wrath. I would get a tennis ball while at work and take about 10 minutes, 3 or 4 times a day and practice squeezing it over and over. It's relaxing and good for working through aggression. The next time he gets into one of his little tiffs I would stand close and lean in like you were whispering something in his ear, than I would squeeze his crotch like the 6 Million Dollar woman did to the racquetball in the opening title sequence. If you shield it with your body no one will see and you could close with a humiliating little peck on the cheek as you step back. Or is that a little much? 1
Author sica Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 Ha Ha Darth...you don't know how many times I've thought about unleashing my wrath in the heat of the moment. Except my version would be giving him a taste of his own medicine and making him look like the ass he is in front of his friends. But instead I've just been the classy one and kept it sane. I will keep your version in mind though Confrontation won't work because he is too passive-aggressive. I'm done with the whole thing anyway, I'm going to complete ignore. I don't think I'll have to worry about it much anymore because in light of some recent events I don't think I'll be seeing much of him anymore. 1
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