silim Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Hi folks, clueless college kid here dropping in for some advice... For one of my classes I have to visit a museum in the city. There's a girl I like in the class and I invited her via facebook to go to the museum with me. Here's my message: Hey I'm going to the media history museum in nyc, for the media ethics class, would you like to go with me? It would be fun if we went together. And here's her reply: hey jeff, thanks for the invite but i have an insane busy schedule with 3 jobs and school, and will probably have to go to the museum spontaneously when one of my days clears up unexpectedly. Sorry! I deliberately didn't say when I was going so she couldn't say "I am busy that day" as an excuse whether true or not. But she says she is busy every day, does this mean she just doesn't want to go with me? Or should I be more clear that I'm more interested in her than the stupid museum?
In The Green Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 You did not ask her out on an official date so I wouldn't take it as rejection. I would have taken your offer as a " it might be more fun if we went together" classmate type deal. If she says no to an actual date, then you have your answer. Of course if she actually has 3 jobs (impressive in this economy) and is doing school, this might be a very overextended woman and perhaps not the best to pursue. I would perhaps move on, especially with the way she worded her reply. Translation : unavailable, vague about how busy she is. If she felt as strongly she would try to make something work.
loverofloveandstuff Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 This is the type of thing I would say to a guy I was not interested in. That said, she didn't flat out reject you so you could always try asking her out officially as green said...
Author silim Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 I didn't ask her out on an actual date because that seems like a dodgy thing to do over Facebook, and I only see her for two hours once per week in this very busy class, so my communications options are limited.
souvlaki Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 She's not interested (I'm a woman). If she were, and it were truly just a scheduling conflict, she'd have let you know in some way in the message that she liked you or wanted to do something in the future. She's trying to let you down easy. Try asking her out more explicitly if you feel like it, but you will just get rejected. I guarantee it.
hearttobreak Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 She ain't interested. In the future, its best to make plans via telephone or in person. Facebook, not so much.
FL Lady Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 She very politely told you "no". At least she was nice about it. No one is that busy if it is someone you like. I have experience being both rejected and rejecting.
carhill Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Hey, OP, welcome to LS Presuming you're schooling in one of the boroughs of NYC, welcome to the world of dating there You'll find many anecdotes, from men and women alike, which chronicle the challenges of dating in NYC. IMO, your best approach is to invest little and move along quickly. It's a fast-paced place. Everyone is busy. Suggestion: When you're at the museum, you'll have many opportunities to strike up subject-related conversations with young ladies. If one proves fruitful, ask her out *right then* 'Hey, this is fun. Let's go catch a bite at the deli; my treat'. Seize the moment. If they're 'busy', no harm, no foul. You go get that bite and you'll run into another young lady or two there. Rinse and repeat. Good luck
Teknoe Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 1 more vote for rejection. Hard to see from your shoes, but from a 3rd party it's more clear. It's not what you want to hear, but yeah, she let you down gently. If she were at all interested, she would have made some small talk or offered a potential day she might be available. Her answer just seems very generic and allowed you "no wiggle room" to respond. She wants the dialogue to end with her reply basically. Sorry, rejected. Move on. Guard your heart. There will be someone for you.
lso802 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Rejected but I wouldn't say it's a lost cause yet.
souvlaki Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Rejected but I wouldn't say it's a lost cause yet. Uh, why? Don't give him false hope. He doesn't want to be in a position of begging her only to be shot down again.
mohdhm Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 awwww OP. Many gorgeous girls at college so i don't feel sorry for you.
lso802 Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 The girl is pretty much just rejecting a dude in her class she doesn't know or knows very little about. Certainly, he shouldn't go begging the girl and also shouldn't let it phase him from getting to know her as the semester progresses. I also agree with the previous poster. Plenty of girls in college.
seekandfind Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Facebook is always last resort for talking to girls, asking a girl out in person/via telephone is MUCH MUCH better. And to repeat what's been said numerous times, it sounds like she is not interested. go find that next girl!
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