newborn25 Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Hi everyone, I will like to seek some advice from the many of you out here and like many of you, I am also trying to find some answers to the questions and doubts that is currently bothering me. Pardon me for the long long story. My ex and I ended our year plus relationship close to a year ago. Basically, she fell for another girl. I knew this girl as an acquaintance before when my ex introduced her to me as a normal friend. Somehow, I had a bad feeling about her but I didn't pay much attention to it. Before I knew it, my ex started telling me she had feelings for this girl, which again I didn't think much about it as never had it occur to me that something such as this will happen to me. We already had some problems in our relationship and at that point in time, i knew a breakup was an inevitable thing that was going to happen sooner or later. I thought i would be glad when it really happen as I couldn't bear the stress of handling the relationship and my studies. However after our break-up, I realized I loved her and my heart was truly broken. Of course, I did some stupid things like sending her some rubbish smses, email and said things that really upset her. Everyday, I went to school as per normal with a smile on my face but none of my classmates knew i was really dying inside. I wasn't really comfortable with telling people that my ex left me for another girl. Fast forward a few more months, things eventually got better. I eventually graduated with no real harm done to my studies and several things happen along the way which really made me see there's more than life lamenting for my ex. I am currently enjoying a good career with a healthy social and family life. I still keep in touch with my ex despite all the advices I heard about NC and we met up occasionally. We treat each other well when we meet up and sometimes it is as though we are still in a relationship. I know what she wants and she knows what i want. Of course, she seldom initiate any meet-ups with me, I am usually the one doing the calling up which makes me feel that she is taking me for granted even as a normal friend. Now comes the problem. I have met a few girls which are all fairly eligible to be in a relationship with. However, I still can't get my ex out of my head. I am trying to reduce contact with my ex in an attempt to get her out of my mind but no sooner will she drift into my thoughts again. I can't help but look at her pictures sometimes and memories will be flooding back. Don't ask me to delete the pictures, she will always have a special place in my heart and i don't want to destroy those beautiful memories. Now, I met this wonderful girl who I am attracted to but I am afraid of hurting her. She doesn't look as great as my ex but she is cute in her own unique ways. I enjoyed her company and look forward to seeing her everyday. Somehow she made my day brighter. However, the consequences can be really bad if we do not work out. I am always wondering what if I am with this girl and my ex comes back to me, though I knew this event is very unlikely to happen. Will I break her heart and return to my ex? or will I break my ex's heart and be with her. I can say I like this girl very much now but if my ex really returns, I am not sure how I will response. Is there lust involved? Should I wait for the ex who may never ever return? Many will say no but how do I convince myself? I am lost. I can't tell what will happen in the future and I find that I am lacking the courage and the determination. The mind tells me to take a step back and let things cool off lest anyone get hurts but the heart is telling me a different thing. I do not want to get hurt again nor do I want to hurt anyone. Anyone who has been through such an experience or have some advice, I will love to hear from you Thanks for reading!
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