JaneDoe35 Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 OK, I am 35 - soon to be divorced - mother of one. The last year has been difficult but I am hanging in there. My husband has not let me go properly and has major regrets - but I can never trust him again. I have a wonderful child, family, great friends and a fantastic employer. I am blessed. Didn't date at all until about 10 months after separation. Lovely man, previously a friend. Probably perfect but he is 30 and had only just separated and I really wanted him to go out and be single and have some fun. I was concerned that he might freak out and want to do that after 1 year or so. We are still friends. I am not sure if we have a future. Anyway, met another man a few months ago. His uncle actually approached me first. Was not interested in the uncle but thought the nephew was very good looking - even though I guessed his age to be about 20. Happened to meet up again with the nephew while out. We got along great. But I was still sort of dating the 30 year old and the nephew had a girlfriend. This is getting way too long - time for dot points! *30 year old & I stop dating *nephew's relationship with girlfriend ends *we start seeing more of each other in big social settings *he seems to be quite smitten. I feel the same but am wary as even though he is not 20, he is only 27 *I try and convince him to be single for a bit and then we will see what happens *he declines this and wants us to be exclusive *I tell him that I don't feel he can give me the time I want and that we are at different stages in our lives * he gets angry and says I have no idea what he wants and I should give us a chance *I remain unsatisfied with the lack of time spent together. I am honest and tell him so. He convinces me that this will change *I catch him out in a little white lie. Instead of spending time with me he went out with his friends yet again. *busted - he says 'you were right, I am not ready for a relationship' - I believe he only said this because I caught him out, as not even 30 mins before he was asking me to give him a chance to show me what he really wanted *nonetheless he is not ready for a relationship I came home last night and cried. I do like this man but I was really crying about my frustration. Why do some people find it so difficult to be honest? I will remain his friend as we get along very well. But if he ever tries to 'girlfriendzone' me again I will slap him. Thanks for reading!!! I really needed to get that out. Possibly I need to date someone closer to my own age!!!
Surrealist Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Well look no further for I am here. Separated as well and 40 yo. But I live in Canberra and you probably live on the other end of the country.
callingyouuu Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Always trust your instincts. Actions speak louder than words. I think I've hit my quota for cliches stated in a single day, but they definitely seem to apply to your situation. Good luck, and I'm glad you're happy now!
Author JaneDoe35 Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 Thanks for the replies. I am so humiliated that I ignored my instincts. I feel such a fool. He is actually a nice guy - but emotionally detached. Just had a huge chat to one of his close female friends. She was shocked by his actions. She said that none of this adds up to what he was saying to her and all his other friends. It had taken me so long to trust a little and now I am feeling insecure and scared again. Oh well, I have survived worse. This is just a little extra heartbreak I guess. Sorry - I sound like a victim. But I am genuinely disappointed. Blaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh:lmao:
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