Nkognito Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 So last night I go out to a bar that has volleyball courts with some friends. I socialized with some people and some girls and got a few numbers and such. I left and went to go home, it was incredibly cold outside and late. I had been drinking and I waited sometime before getting behind the wheel. So on the way home, I must of been speeding at some point because I get a sheriff on my 6. Well he follows me for ever, until I get 2 exits away from my apartment, then he flips on the lights. I am in a jeep wrangler with no doors or top on. I showed him my license and registration and told him I was getting cold so I was in a hurry to get home. He let me off with a speeding ticket (80 in 60) which I was not going, I was doing 65 most of the time but I dont remember going that fast. Anyhoo, the second part of my stupid adventure ended up calling her at 1am. She is a public defender and my friend got a ticket once and she offered to have it fixed. I thought she would be helpful. I left her a voicemail and said "differences aside I got a speeding ticket, that I need help with if you can do it". I really didnt go into anything else but I feel like such a idiot now. I get to work and realize I was stupid for even calling her that late and at all. So I text her... "Keri, I am sorry for contacting you so late at night. Please disregard the message about the speeding ticket. I should have not called you". She replied a half hour later with "It's fine". This strikes me as odd, I want to read into it because I would think there is something dangling with that response but I shouldn't. I would think that if for any reason she no longer wanted to have anything to do with me she would politely ask me to not speak with or contact her. She dumped me via text message because she wanted to be in love and for some reason could not find it. Her mom is in the hospital and she almost lost her a few times. She is really behind on work and on a capital murder appeal case so I can see how other priorities come into play. I would like like a womans opinion or anyone for that matter it "its fine" is anything at all. I think its weird that she would not just put me in my place. She had no problems dumping me in text giving me the cliche "its me not you" and "you deserve someone better" and such. I just find it off that she would not just tell me to not speak with her in a nice way, not reply with something small and what seems questionable to me.
Ajax Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Personally I think the response, "it's fine," is pretty cold. It sounds like she wanted to acknowledge the fact that you contacted her but not put in the effort to be nice or mean. It just wasn't worth it to her. Sorry man.
Author Nkognito Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) Yea, no biggie bro I just thought it was awkward that I didn't get some other response like "Justin I think its best we no longer speak to each other" or something along those lines. I know she is a girl I dont need to be with, I just feel like crap breaking NC after having been in it a month and now I just started it over again It was a short relationship though, about 2 months, coming up on the 3rd but she had the issues with her mom, work and I think for my closure sake that cocaine was involved as she mentioned doing it but I never say her do it in front of me. In either case I'll go back to no contact. What was funny to me is I wondered in the back of my head if I was still programmed into her phone with the ringer she set for me and all. You know how dumpers for some reason keep our numbers.... I was working today and it struck me, "what if my call at 1am was while she was having sex with her rebound?" I laughed at how it would have messed her tempo up LOL! Oh well, Live Laugh Love as they say. Oh yea I likes your "he who laughs" last comment in the thread about new boyfriends, pretty funny and what we all should be doing! Edit: Also I called her to help me out of a speeding ticket and not get back together, perhaps she was hoping for the other... I dunno but I just thought I would through that out there. Edited October 15, 2010 by Nkognito
kaycstamper Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 It wasn't the greatest in decorum to call that time of the night, let alone with a favor. That she said "it's fine" show grace on her part. Let it go, don't ask any favors, leave her be.
TaraMaiden Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 It sounds to me as if you'd like there to be more to read in to it....OK, as a woman.... "It's fine" means - "Well done for realising in the cold grey light of day that trying to out-run a speeding ticket is just a waste of time, and that I have, as you know, a lot more on my plate right now taking priority, so I appreciate that you've withdrawn your request. Forgive me for not being more effusive or elaborating, expanding or and expressing things more fully, but we're broken up, so let's just leave it at a nice, short, perfunctory and perfectly sufficient - "It's fine". Does that help? It's what I'd mean.....
Author Nkognito Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Yea you're right, I apologized for being an idiot. It was a universally retarded thing to do and I am kicking myself for it. I had no problems doing no contact and have healed quite nicely with the exception of this mistake. But yea part of me that I cannot figure out still has hope of some sort. I am currently talking to a few other people trying to get my old self (before she came along back) but calling her was a huge mistake and that I know. I just thought the reply left out a lot to be said. It true Tara, that it is short and suffcient but it also acknowledges my mistake with an appeal of acceptance. That is how it comes off to me at least. She could have very well replied with "it's find but please dont let it happen any more" or "again". That is the kind of message I would like to have more directly put to me from her. But I am back to no contact and I dont have her number on my phone. but its said that I have a good memory with numbers, dates, times and stuff so its hard for me to just dump that. I think people with good memories had a harder time getting over ex's. I can remember the both house phone numbers when I was 8 years old and my parents split when I was 13 and now I am 33 and I still have them in my head. I will have to use the "stop sign" tactic to block her and her number out.
Lost Fish Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Nkognito, First off, let's stop pussyfooting around here. To the outsider (everyone who isn't you) it's 1000x over obvious that you are still completely and utterly into her. For god's sake man, you've got 6 posts here over 2 words "It's fine." Lol... If a woman wants to be with you - she will be with you. Even if she is juggling her career, her coke addiction, her dying parents, and her pet pot-bellied pig. If she is into you she will make time. So if a woman tries to be polite and tells you "it's not you, it's me" or "I just don't have time for a relationship right now" what does it mean? It means she's trying to let you down easy when the truth is that she is saying "I'm just not that into you." So now what do you do? Drop her like she's hot and move on to the next girl who is into you. The longer you pussyfoot around with this broad, the more you are coming off as a giant wimp to her and yourself man. Stop smashing your own self respect into the ground and move forward. "It's fine..." Cold as ice man. I'd delete that and her out of my phone asap.
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