broken-and-lost Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 i really hope things improve buddy, does hurt i'm hurting right now but trying not to think of the ex, no one knows how long something like this will take always down to the person, I do recommend counselling sometimes just helps to dig deep into the soul and see what it is your really missing in your life a person or maybe just the fear of not being good enough. I always thought i was a bad person but i realise that's not the case people make mistakes we are all human but maybe you need to try and see if you can find peace in your mind regardless of the girl i know that's what i'm trying to do good luck fella
Gt.ooh Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 I'd say it's the toughest part, esp if she was your first like mine, and you gave her your all. My cousin whose been with lots of girls told me his first even though not that good, is still in his mind. He's been coaching me a lot. Now that I'm letting go, I'm going to start hanging with him and just get laid. I have no interest in a relationship right now. I was having great sex with the ex, a guy can only last so long...So it's only human nature everyone does it/must do it to live. If you u know anyone who can take you out of you comfort zone, I'd suggest it. Take it easy, all of us a rootin for you.
YellowShark Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 A friend of mine used to always brag about how amazing his girlfriend was in bed. One day - over beers - another friend who was sick of hearing it replied, "Scott.. How do you think she got so f**king good in bed?" Well that was the end of the bragging, but 'till this day we still all laugh about it. Some of your EX's had sex before you met them, and they'll have sex after we're gone. Fact of life. Rather than visualize EX-and-the-new-BF/GF pornos in your head, just deal with the fact, and move on. Good luck.
Author really-broken Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 Easier said than done. It all just seems unfair but I should have known. Even though I knew she slept with a few other guys before, it didn't occur to me that after we break up I will have to deal mentally with this thing. She made me feel very special when we were together, but when that stopped I guess it only put salt on the wound. Some people just deal better with this sort of thing and I will probably look back at this in a few years and laugh at myself. I have no clue when I will meet someone new, and that's even though I am trying - I guess that makes me more miserable because it seems like she had a much easier time meeting someone new and moving on emotionally. It doesn't help that I am depressed to start with and have a bunch of anxiety issues. It's hard to put into words how I feel most of the time. I'm not saying I'm unique in that way, but I am not dealing well with this. There are so many emotions, feelings and thoughts that are involved. This is why I am going to see a therapist.
thatsonlyme Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 I bet my ex is having a lot better sex with this new guy than what we had. I've heard sex on ecstasy is just simply amazing! She's never done it with me, so sex with me mush have been ordinary compared to what she's having right now. But who cares, I don't need stimulants to enjoy my life. Now, not to thread jack but does any of you guys have erection problems after break up? and I'm not talking about erectile dysfunction but more about long lasting erections that can be down right painful! Well, at least my next girl will be surely impressed I feel like I'm 16 again
Banega100 Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Listen man, you said 'why is it so difficult to find some one again?' Firstly, i don't believe you should be looking for some one for like 6 months. You need to work on yourself, rather than simply offload all your emotional baggage on some one else. But that said, if you can't stand being single, and you are willing to commit to the right person, then just put yourself out there. Say it takes 10 dates with 10 different people to find a relationship, then you just need to go out and get those 9 dates out the way. Maybe it takes more, the point is, a failure isnt really a failure, it just means your one step closer to finding a good fit.
Capital P Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 The fact is guys, its there. You have to have the thought so u can accept it and move on. My ex told me she had sex with a guy, it was crap and she gave him head etc. She then told me im the best she has had and can i **** her again before i leave the country because im the only person up for the job. So on one hand u got her sucking some guy off, the other half of ur ego kicks in and wants to make sure she gets it good from you before you leave Either way, the thought is there. Accept it, dont dwell on it. Realise it happened n get used to it.
Author really-broken Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 Listen man, you said 'why is it so difficult to find some one again?' Firstly, i don't believe you should be looking for some one for like 6 months. You need to work on yourself, rather than simply offload all your emotional baggage on some one else. But that said, if you can't stand being single, and you are willing to commit to the right person, then just put yourself out there. Say it takes 10 dates with 10 different people to find a relationship, then you just need to go out and get those 9 dates out the way. Maybe it takes more, the point is, a failure isnt really a failure, it just means your one step closer to finding a good fit. I just feel alone and abandoned and kind of left out. I also have a lot of sexual tension and frustration so I think that I do need to find someone even if it's just to get my mind off of sex with my ex because that's all that I can think of. I know what you mean when you say I shouldn't be looking for a relationship, but I don't think I would necessarily offload all my baggage on someone, I think that given the right opportunity, I will just leave my baggage behind. I do need to work on myself and I am hoping that therapy will help me with that, but at the same time I am craving the affection and care that I had with my ex. It's not really as simple as one thing, it's a lot of things. You are right, it could be as simple as a matter of numbers - this is basically how it worked until I met my ex (that doesn't mean it's any less genuine, it just meant that going through the other people was part of the search). Time just seems to go by so slowly and my life just feels really empty. I am inexperienced so I also think that more experience is needed for me to understand and realize the reality and what it is like to get over someone. I do have some regrets about my last relationship but I did learn from them for next time, but at the same time I sometimes feel that there would be no next time. And at the end of it all, there is my sex drive which is always very high and it doesn't help.
Author really-broken Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 The fact is guys, its there. You have to have the thought so u can accept it and move on. My ex told me she had sex with a guy, it was crap and she gave him head etc. She then told me im the best she has had and can i **** her again before i leave the country because im the only person up for the job. So on one hand u got her sucking some guy off, the other half of ur ego kicks in and wants to make sure she gets it good from you before you leave Either way, the thought is there. Accept it, dont dwell on it. Realise it happened n get used to it. I don't know what you're saying. It is such pain to imagine her sucking some other guy off. I can't see her, or be with her - she's in a different country. I know what we had was great and she acknowledges that, and I suspect that maybe the sex she is having now is not that great, but I can't help but think that it at least made her forget me. I did not have proper breakup sex. Things were bumpy before she left. I felt unfulfilled and unfulfilling, and that I needed more time. I was not ready to break up. Yes there's nothing I can do but accept the facts. I also probably should not assume a lot because I don't know how much sex she's having or how good it is - we don't talk about that, in fact we've been No Contact for more than a week now. Last time she told me that the sex was not that great.
Pipeline010 Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 "You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex you are having with Ian... in my head." Nick Hornby, High Fidelity Your imagination is ALWAYS worse than reality. Try to remember that.
Author really-broken Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 "You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than the sex you are having with Ian... in my head." Nick Hornby, High Fidelity Your imagination is ALWAYS worse than reality. Try to remember that. Thank you this helped a little bit, and made me giggle.
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