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First date mixed signals?


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Posted

We met online and had our first date last night. During, I thought things were going pretty well. He was cuter and more fun than I expected. We had made good conversation, laughed alot, lots of eye contact, some casual touching on his part, he paid (it wasn't expensive but I appreciated the gesture), and we were there for 3 hours. So I thought it went well. But at the end of the night, he didn't walk me to my car, or mention a second date. There was a hug but no kiss. I realize it was just last night and that I'll know how he feels after a few days when he either calls or doesn't, but I'm wondering if I may have misread his interest during the date.

 

He's not a constant texter, so I'm not expecting an immediate response. I guess I'm just curious if I might hear from him again.

Posted

Dear Scarlett, from a guy's perspective (and I think girls would agree) the most important part of a date is the chemistry/attraction factor. This is especially important with on-line people because you never met them before. You can only tell if this is present when you meet.

 

My spider sense says that no kiss = no chemistry or not enough attraction. So, please remember the most powerful word in the english language when dating, "Next!". Best of luck.

Posted

I know of a couple guys here on LS that ALWAYS kiss on the first date if they're interested. But I really think they're in the minority.

 

I do not kiss on a first date/meeting with a guy from an online site. Only a couple times did the guy ever try to as well, and almost all of them resulted in a second date. So I wouldn't judge his interest level by the fact he didn't kiss you.

 

Now, if you already met him through some other means, then it might give me a moment of pause... But still, I don't think any conclusions should be drawn from the no-kiss thing.

Posted

SG, I have never not kissed someone on a first date, at least. BUT, I only do so when I'm sure the girl would like me to. If I ever don't get that vibe, I would certainly not go for a second date. No point, really.

Posted
SG, I have never not kissed someone on a first date, at least. BUT, I only do so when I'm sure the girl would like me to. If I ever don't get that vibe, I would certainly not go for a second date. No point, really.

 

A first date with someone you've already met? Or a first MEETING (sometimes also called a date) with someone you met online?

Posted

If you haven't already done so, send him a text or email to let him know you had a nice time. If he's interested he'll ask you out again and you can take it from there.

Posted
I know of a couple guys here on LS that ALWAYS kiss on the first date if they're interested. But I really think they're in the minority.

 

I'm in your majority. I leave the door open for a (real) kiss at the end of a real date, but I never consider a first "date" via online to be a date. To me, the first "date" via online is a "meetup" and assuming the "meetup" isn't a total trainwreck, the second "date" is the actual first "date," thus leaving the door open for a (real) kiss.

 

In a nutshell: I don't kiss a woman on the first "date" via online under really any circumstances.

 

OP, you really don't know what he was thinking. Some guys, including myself, try to come across as a bit passive on the first online "date" in an effort to not appear too desperate. It's a byproduct of the modern dating game, but the important thing is to not look too much into that aspect of it. He has your contact info (right?) so if he wants to see you again, he will let you know.

 

I will say that an e-mail or text to let him know you had a good time probably doesn't hurt. The guy may be on the fence as to whether you had a good time and sending a message confirming that and subtly letting him know you are open for another round may help him come around.

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