pika Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Hey guys, I'm new here and I found this forum seeking information that would help my relationship. I'll try to keep things short but I also want to give as much details. My boyfriend broke up with me this morning. We have been dating for almost 10 months. This is our second breakup. 1st Breakup: 2 weeks after being becoming an official couple. The breakup happened because he had an agreement to see each other on a Monday. He was supposed to stay over my house. During that time, we didnt see each other much... once a week, sometimes twice whenever he wasn't lazy. The Sunday before, he went over a female friend's house for her bday. He ended up staying over with a guy friend. Then when Monday came, he decided he was too tired to go to work and too tired to see me. I was disappointed. Then, on FB I read about him planning out a gaming get-together which he mentioned a possible sleepover... this was a conversation including her. So I felt uncomfortable about that comment. I confronted him the next day and he knew why I wanted to talk to him. He got very defensive and compared me to his last ex who didnt not like his female friend. The next day, I asked him to come over. I was an idiot.. I bought him a gift in hopes of everything being okay. He had attempted to breakup with me but he couldn't. Following that Sunday, he was actting different and he went to the mall where I was at. He didnt mention to me he was coming and while I was there, he made no contact with me whatsoever. I approached him and he said that he wanted to go back to his original decision of breaking up. The month we were separated: A week after we broke up, he contacted me saying he missed me and that it was the thing he regretted the most in his life. He told me how he felt but he didn't show any sign of getting back with me. Towards the end of the week, he decided to give me back the stuff I had given him. He did so. That day I was hanging out with a couple who he had known for years and was also his coworkers at the time. He sent me a text with a picture saying "Being away from you made me realize.... I love you... Thanks for everything.. Goodbye". I had no expectation of him ever getting back with me nor did I really care while we were apart. I was living my life and being happy. That text really touched me tho. It was all I was thinking about. So I texted him the following morning and just chatted with him a bit. Then he unexpectedly came to my house and we were back together. Our relationship when we got back together: The relationship was amazing. He was very sweet and kind. I could see he was trying to prove to me that he made a mistake and he was willing to make our relationship work. We were very understanding of each other. At many occasions, we thought EXACTLY alike and did the same exact thing. He was amazing and funny at the same time. We had an intense attraction to each other and we were very much affectionate. During April, he decided to quit his job of 2 years. He was unemployed and all he did was stay home and play videos games. This kinda upset me because he was 25 at the time and doing nothing with his life. So, at some time, he had asked me to try to get him a job where I work. My initial reaction to this was, "Couples shouldn't work together." Eventually, I became desperate and made myself believe it was gonna be okay... then he was the one who thought he was a bad idea. Anyways, he ended up working with me... same exact days and hours. Everything was fine at work. We made the best team, everyone saw it. Beginning of September, he was actting different. I noticed it and I confronted him. He told me that he needed space. I had previously complained to him that I was unsure about our relationship because of the type of person he is. It was very hard to give him space considering we work together. I went out of town for a week to give him the space. In the beginning, he missed me... then during the middle of the week... he didn't. He liked felt free apparently which was understandable. When I came back, he showed that he missed me and that made me happy. After awhile tho, he reverted back and things felt weird again. I felt it and I made the mistake of constantly telling him how I felt about everything and breaking down and crying. This made me believe I pushed him away even further. 2nd Breakup: This morning We left work together and went into the train station. We hugged and kissed each other and said "I love you" before parting. An hour I got home, he texted me saying that he couldn't do this anymore. That he had a sick to his stomach feeling because he wanted to tell me something. He said that I shouldnt have to pretend to be happy when I'm actually huting. He said that he felt like he was lying to himself and to me and thought everything was going to be better. After reading his text, I called him to talk to him. He said that he sat down for 30 mins debating on what to do. He thought about it 1000 times in his head. He wanted to be 100% sure he was going to make the right decision. And he choose that. He said, instead of keeping me confused and hurt, he decided to just end it. He said he still loved me tho but he felt like he was incapable to being a better boyfriend. My Opinion: I didn't want to breakup. Even though we were going through something, I had hope. Even though I was hurting inside, I felt like we were good for each other. He on the other hand said I deserved better. He had already made a decision awhile ago that he wasn't good enough but said he would try. He has low self-esteem about himself as a boyfriend. I believe, him believing that, it unconsciously made him not try... it was like he set himself up. We had agreed that our biggest problem is us working together. Next month he was supposed to transfer to another store, we were gonna try to work things out and see how things go from there since we wouldn't be seeing each other everyday and we would have things to talk about. But he made a decision now before it could have gotten better. I believe he didn't give it a chance. I believe he took the easiest way out and just gave up so quick. We honestly had no other problems in the relationship besides us working together. I feel kind of stupid because I gave him everything I could offer, I did everything I could possibly do for him. I practically spoiled him and got him a better job where he's about to make manager...... I feel so unappreciated. He said he loves me but he wasn't willing to fight for us. He was just so negative with things, he didn't think about everything that was good in our relationship. I honestly believe he will miss me. I don't know after how long.. maybe a week, maybe two week... but he will eventually miss me. I also know he'll regret it. He has two options to act upon. He either can miss me, regret it, and so everything he can to get me back... OR... he will miss me, regret it, and soak in his misery and just let me go. Before hanging up, I gave him the option. If he ends up missing me and regretting it and wants me back, I'll be willing to try again. Of course, he would have to prove it to me. He just needs time to sort our his feelings in his head and act upon things. I can imagine this whole "space" thing overwhelmed him and cause him to back out. Adive and opinions are very much appreciated. Thank you for reading.
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