Capital P Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I posted this before guys but i couldnt edit the title and i ****ed it up, so here goes I was with a girl for 4 years. 2 of those years i had broken up with her an she chased me. moved to where i worked, harrassed me, turned up in lingerie , turned up to clubs where i was. Then when i said i wanted to go out with her she flipped n called it off. We havent spoken for two months until tonight. She said that as soon as i started pursueing her she didnt want it and it was too much.She also told me she has been with someone in the last two months, once and it wasnt very good. So we get talking about sex and she says she is a nymph and no one can **** her like i do. She starts going on about her breasts being bigger etc and how many guys she has after her. So i **** up and suggest we have sex. I lost control. I get off the phone and i get a picture message come through which i cant see becasue of my iphone. I ignore it. Half hour later i get a text saying she wants to **** me again. no one can **** her like i do and if i want to do it then she really wants to have sex. Iv told her i have been with other people. It sounds like shes kind of getting over me and i was in a good place lst week and was pretty much over it. Now i really really want to **** her I want to make her cum so hard she cant even look at another man. I really want to do it lol. But then i though. She broke up with me, she slept with someone. she doesnt want to be with me, but wants sex. Maybe im thining if we have sex shell want me back. I only want her now because she doesnt want me. Im thinking if i play her right. Make her cum , act like im not fussed n carry on seeing other girls then she will crawl back to me. Maybe. Or maybe i just want to have sex with her n see what happens. Is this a risk worth taking? Is there a way i can get control back. I broke up with her probably 20 times before through the years an i treated her pretty badly, but soon as i treated her well she would leave. If i have sex, take the lead. Dont b needy at all, act like i have other **** going on , which i do. Make sure im sleeping with other women, i could have a few months of sex. And going on my exes u only get one shot at this before the time wears off. Any thoughts?
Author Capital P Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 I could really do with some advice on this guys before i go insane On the one hand, sex with a hot girl, Other hand, am i emotionally strong enough to have sex and still have control of my emotions. 18 months ago i would sleep with her and make it clear i didnt want a relationship and it just made her more and more attracted. In the end she pulled away and i chased then she broke it off. Im thinking i should sleep with her once, then go NC. But i can only do that if i am strong with my emotions. Make it clear to her i dont want a relationship and be non needy and attractive. If i do ANYthing to look like i want her back she will just retreat. So looks like im answring my own questions lol but would be great for some real input
alwayshoping Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I could really do with some advice on this guys before i go insane On the one hand, sex with a hot girl, Other hand, am i emotionally strong enough to have sex and still have control of my emotions. 18 months ago i would sleep with her and make it clear i didnt want a relationship and it just made her more and more attracted. In the end she pulled away and i chased then she broke it off. Im thinking i should sleep with her once, then go NC. But i can only do that if i am strong with my emotions. Make it clear to her i dont want a relationship and be non needy and attractive. If i do ANYthing to look like i want her back she will just retreat. So looks like im answring my own questions lol but would be great for some real input Bad idea, sometimes sleeping with someone can bring up emotions you thought you could control but cant! I did that once and truely regretted it. Although i never truely regretted it as it made me realise i still loved them! If your sure you can control your emotions then do it, but if you have any doubts perhaps think about it again! good luck.
TLCbear Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I agree with the last poster. I tried it a couple of times and from my experience, the guys seemed to have an attachment, eventhough they were the one making it clear they wouldn't. You don't want to do this and let your emotions get in the way.
Author Capital P Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 It's interesting because I used t have casual sex wih her without attachment and it jja made her chase more. When it happened to u do u think u had less emotional attachment because u knew he wanted u back? It seems here Are two ways to win. Give her the sex of her life and make it clear u are seeing othe people and don't show ANY emotion. Or tell her I am seeing someone and it wouldn't be fair. If I treat her like crap after h sex I'd have more h ce of her wanting to be wih me. As soon as she stopped having sex wih me I based. Whatever I do I'm seeing other girls from now and taking care o me. Once im sleepig wih a few women of similar quality I probably wnt care. Do u ink there is a chain she will bcome emotionally attached depending on my behaviour?
TLCbear Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 It's interesting because I used t have casual sex wih her without attachment and it jja made her chase more. When it happened to u do u think u had less emotional attachment because u knew he wanted u back? It seems here Are two ways to win. Give her the sex of her life and make it clear u are seeing othe people and don't show ANY emotion. Or tell her I am seeing someone and it wouldn't be fair. If I treat her like crap after h sex I'd have more h ce of her wanting to be wih me. As soon as she stopped having sex wih me I based. Whatever I do I'm seeing other girls from now and taking care o me. Once im sleepig wih a few women of similar quality I probably wnt care. Do u ink there is a chain she will bcome emotionally attached depending on my behaviour? Actually in both cases, I wasn't sure if either one wanted me back. It was something we both agreed to do because the sex was good and at that time we were comfortable with one another. At first for me, I was a little scared I would get attached because I wasn't sure if I was able to separate feelings and sex, so the first time was arkward, but after that, it was the opposite, I noticed I was able to separate the two. I can't say in your situation, but it happen for her. You know her wayy better than I do. All I can say is be careful and it would be nice if you two stop playing games with each other.
ShannonMI Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I posted this before guys but i couldnt edit the title and i ****ed it up, so here goes I was with a girl for 4 years. 2 of those years i had broken up with her an she chased me. moved to where i worked, harrassed me, turned up in lingerie , turned up to clubs where i was. Then when i said i wanted to go out with her she flipped n called it off. We havent spoken for two months until tonight. She said that as soon as i started pursueing her she didnt want it and it was too much.She also told me she has been with someone in the last two months, once and it wasnt very good. So we get talking about sex and she says she is a nymph and no one can **** her like i do. She starts going on about her breasts being bigger etc and how many guys she has after her. So i **** up and suggest we have sex. I lost control. I get off the phone and i get a picture message come through which i cant see becasue of my iphone. I ignore it. Half hour later i get a text saying she wants to **** me again. no one can **** her like i do and if i want to do it then she really wants to have sex. Iv told her i have been with other people. It sounds like shes kind of getting over me and i was in a good place lst week and was pretty much over it. Now i really really want to **** her I want to make her cum so hard she cant even look at another man. I really want to do it lol. But then i though. She broke up with me, she slept with someone. she doesnt want to be with me, but wants sex. Maybe im thining if we have sex shell want me back. I only want her now because she doesnt want me. Im thinking if i play her right. Make her cum , act like im not fussed n carry on seeing other girls then she will crawl back to me. Maybe. Or maybe i just want to have sex with her n see what happens. Is this a risk worth taking? Is there a way i can get control back. I broke up with her probably 20 times before through the years an i treated her pretty badly, but soon as i treated her well she would leave. If i have sex, take the lead. Dont b needy at all, act like i have other **** going on , which i do. Make sure im sleeping with other women, i could have a few months of sex. And going on my exes u only get one shot at this before the time wears off. Any thoughts? This sounds like a bunch of game playing to me. Ugh!! Why are you bothering? Don't you want a girl you don't have to play games with?
Author Capital P Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 Here is the thing. She is pretty easily manipulated and isnt as mentally strong as i am. I asked her why she broke it off. She said i wanted too much and she had a mental block n couldnt deal with it. You cant have sex without having a massive wave of physical emotion flood back. Whoever is stronger in that situation will win. She is stupidly hot. She has guys hit on her a lot, but they arent like me and they cant please her like i can. But if i start being emotional she will get the validation she needs and switch off, take the sex and be where she wants to be. If i give her the sex of her life , with no emotional attachment, is this likely to stir feelings. I will have a brand new car, new clothes, new haircut and have been working out for the last 2 months harder than normal and look amazing, if i do say it myself. With all that in front of her, a confident guy who isnt looking for anything but sex, and isnt giving her the validation she wants, i think it sets up her wanting more. I could be wrong though. I might just be wanting to see it from this point of view. I wont go into it being needy though. I will also be leaving for the US and then Columbia a few days after so she will know i will be around hot women and after one of the best nights of sex she has ever had, thats bound to stir jealousy. She said on the phone that to her sex was about 90% of the relationship. If i dont **** her, some other guy will eventually and he will do what i should be doing, playing her. Does anyone agree or disagree?
Billie The Puppet Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 So your plan is to have emotionless sex with her, so she can get re-attached to you and open up more so you two can share emotions again? What happen's the next time you have sex it will be with emotion and be what she doesn't want. You might just be setting yourself up for FWB which will hurt you when she finds a new friend.
Author Capital P Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 I know man , its a risk. In the mean time im going to be going out , seeing other women, and if it comes to it and i dont think i want to get into it , i wont. If i do it, im going to have to do baby steps until she wants me. I definitely wont be sleeping with her more than once, and i wont sleep with her unless i am already seeing other girls. My perogitive is to leave her as attracted to me as possible. And tbf friends with benefits is fine with me. Its what i wanted before anyway. U jus have to accept it for what it is. And make sure u are seeing other women so u dont giv ur emotions to just one.
tornandmarried Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 bad idea....having sex with someone has an unspoken commitment to it, never know what can happen, accidental pregnancy, catching stds, emotional attachment, etc...things that are pretty bad to get into with a ex, your generally too late for a relationship and sex will complicate things...find a new girl that wants a whole life with you and have sex with her instead
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