hearttobreak Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Met this woman online. We conversed back and forth through email twice I then suggested we meet. She agreed and we met for drinks and something to eat. Surprisingly, she came to my area instead of me going to her area. I usually always suggest the first date in the woman's area so she is safe in her surroundings. As soon as we locked eyes, we were both smiling. She took a look at the place and wasn't that crazy about it so we chose another one. It was about a block a way. It was raining and we had to cross the street. I extended my hand to hers and we walked hand in hand to the next place. Sat down and ordered drinks and some appetizers. Had no problems talking, smiling and laughing. We seemed to have a lot in common. About 2.5 hours later we left and I walked her to her car. I said I had a great time, and she said the same. I asked if you would be up for doing something again, she said call me. We hugged and she kissed me on my cheek, I reciprocated. It was raining on the street with people around, so I did not want to try a kiss on the lips. Called her at her home to make sure she got home and she said that was sweet. Wished her a good night and that is how we ended it. How does that sound to everyone? I wanted to call on her Saturday and setup like an activity date for Sunday. What does everyone think of that idea? Open to suggestions on activity dates.
Arabella Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 That sounds like a pretty awesome first date. You should definitely call her again - sooner than Saturday, if you expect to see her Sunday.
spiderowl Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) It sounded good to me. It's easy to assume a date has gone well when the woman was just being polite and amiable, but what struck me was that she let you hold her hand (presumably didn't withdraw it fairly quickly afterwards?) and later kissed you on the cheek voluntarily. If she'd have felt unhappy about the date, the hand-holding would have been very limited and she wouldn't have made a gesture towards kissing you on the cheek. It's just about possible she saw you as a genuinely nice guy but not really romantically, but then I think she'd have perhaps been sweet to you but a bit busy for the next week or so ... I think she liked you enough to want a second date, so it's worth a try. If you're interested, you need to show it fairly quickly before she decides you are one of those who is never going to call and dismisses you. If I didn't hear anything the same night or next day, I'd be mentally shutting you out by the day after. Edited October 15, 2010 by spiderowl
Author hearttobreak Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 I put my hand out to cross the street and she held it a good block or two until we reached the next restaurant. I did forgot to do it on the way back as I was working up the nerve to ask her if she would be interested in doing something again; which she said yes, call me. Yep, communicated tonight with her saying I had a great time to confirm she got home safe. She then thanked me again for a dinner and wished me a good night. I would think, if she had little to no interest, she would had said so tonight. I do not want to call her again later in the day today, as it would make me look really too needy. But, maybe Saturday early afternoon.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Can anyone else chime in on their thoughts?
Scarlett513 Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Seems good to me. Sounds like she likes you and I definitely think you did well by taking the initiative to plan for the second date during the first. As a woman I am always impressed by a man who doesn't make me wonder what he's thinking.
SilentVoice Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 i think you should call her two days in advance to the day you want to set something up for. So if you want to see her Sunday . I think a call sometime around now will be fine. Good Luck
reservoirdog1 Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 That sounds like an excellent start. I agree, an activity for date #2 is your best bet. Karaoke, go-karts, billiards, bowling... whatever. Your goal for the second date should be to get a proper kiss (or several) by the end of it. I.e. something more than just a peck on the lips.
mmk1 Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I'll be different and say you're too passive. Any date that did not end with at least a kiss on the lips I would not call again. Do not kiss any girl you're romantically interested on the cheek! It gives the signal that your friends. Anywho, meeting her for drinks instead of on the first date was excellant. Now, maybe dinner. Not sure about the activity date but definitely no to a movie. Find somewhere near you so you can take her home afterwards. But, call her at least 2 days before any date. Its insulting to call the day before and women will just say no out of principle even if their not busy. Good luck!
In The Green Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I would disagree that a kiss of the cheek is bad. I think its a good start for two people trying to form a relationship, I didn't get the sense that the OP was looking to just score with this woman. I would echo the idea of giving a woman at least 2 days notice for another date. It lets her work her schedule around a bit if need be and it shows that you're considerate of her time. But overall it seemed like a positive date, good luck!
mmk1 Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I don't think you get the sense of chemistry from a kiss on the cheek. I think girls like guys to be a little agressive. It also shows some confidence on your part, which chicks dig. Also, if the girl doesn't want to kiss you on the lips at the end of the date, you know there's nothing there and you can move on to someone else. Saves everyone some time and angst, IMHO.
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Also, if the girl doesn't want to kiss you on the lips at the end of the date, you know there's nothing there and you can move on to someone else. Saves everyone some time and angst, IMHO. Totally, 100000% disagree. I DO NOT kiss on the first meeting/online date as a matter of policy, even with guys I'm really interested in. It's a get-to-know you meeting, not an opportunity to get intimate. If a guy doesn't see me again because of that, his loss. But most do, and they're excited to get that second date... But will I mind him trying? No.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 If I get her voicemail, what should I say?
denise_xo Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Just be straight and tell her you're calling for a date on Sunday, no? And I agree with those supporting the kiss on the cheek - those kisses are good and leave you wanting for more Definitely make plans two days (or more) in advance. Good luck.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Left a message about an a hour ago. No response or text so far. It did not immediately go to voicemail like it would if you clicked on ignore, it rang five or six times before voicemail. One would think, yesterday, during the good night call, she would had said she was not interested. Or, at the very least, texted and said thanks, but no thanks.
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 It's been an hour, and some people are still at work. Relax.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 It's been an hour, and some people are still at work. Relax. Sadly, no. She's in law school, so she told me yesterday she was studying today.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) Hi Alexia, Its Dan. Just calling to see how your day is going and to see if you would be up for something on Sunday. Give me a call. XXX-XXX-XXXX. Its also Friday night. So, she may not call back til tomorrow so it appears that she is out with friends, family, etc. That is also very possible. Still a text, one way or the other and not apparently poofing would had been ideal. Though, I do wonder, why ask me to call when I asked if she would like to do something again and then blow me off? Kind of defeats the purpose. She had two times last night, one on the phone and one via text to say not interested. Edited October 15, 2010 by hearttobreak
redmelon Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 How long has it been since you called? Maybe she plans to call you back but is in a position where she can't at the moment. I think perhaps your conclusion may be premature yet.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Last night we first met. Then contacted her again to make sure she got home safe and wished her a good night. That was around 10:00 PM. Was going to call tomorrow for Sunday, but was told it would be inconsiderate on this board and some friends said the same.
redmelon Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 but you've called since and left the message. what time did you do that? I'm just suggesting that you shouldn't assume that she is blowing you off just yet...
Author hearttobreak Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 (edited) Two hours ago. She probably thought I was too anxious. It was too soon to contact her again. Edited October 16, 2010 by hearttobreak
MyNameIsJonas Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Hi Alexia, Its Dan. Just calling to see how your day is going and to see if you would be up for something on Sunday. Give me a call. XXX-XXX-XXXX. Its also Friday night. So, she may not call back til tomorrow so it appears that she is out with friends, family, etc. That is also very possible. Still a text, one way or the other and not apparently poofing would had been ideal. Though, I do wonder, why ask me to call when I asked if she would like to do something again and then blow me off? Kind of defeats the purpose. She had two times last night, one on the phone and one via text to say not interested. I hate to be this blunt but you are being way too needy way too early into the dating "game." If you have any problem is that you are obsessing way too much about a situation where you literally have no control. Go read a book, watch TV, or do something to take your mind off of it. If she calls, she calls. If not, you learn for the next one.
redmelon Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 I hate to be this blunt but you are being way too needy way too early into the dating "game." If you have any problem is that you are obsessing way too much about a situation where you literally have no control. Go read a book, watch TV, or do something to take your mind off of it. If she calls, she calls. If not, you learn for the next one. I agree that you are being a smidge obsessive. Two hours isn't a big deal. She may call you tomorrow. If she doesn't, you'll be fine. Don't worry yourself.
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