brainygirl Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Ok, so lots of folks on here complain about women being shallow and rejecting guys for no good reason, so let me share an experience I just had and you tell me if I'm being shallow. I'm on Okcupid and a guy opens a chat window, I'm bored so I chat with him for a bit. Red flag one: he rapid fires responces so fast that I can't get a word in. red flag two: he goes over board on the compliments "you'r face looks so kissable, your so beautiful, I am really attracted to you. red flag three: he finds my facebook page, which I maintain for students, gets my number, and calls me. The fact that I've blocked him has nothing to do with his age, appearance, or income. It has everything to do with the fact he doesn't have any sense of boundaries.
JungleLover Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 No you are not being shallow but I do not believe this is a good example to judge by. It was some crazy guy that needed to be avoided. There is nothing there to test depth of character from.
Cracker Jack Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Of course you were shallow. For all you know, he could've been ready to give you the world. Nah, I'm kiddin. He's a stalker. Total loser on top of that. You did the right thing here. Nothing shallow here.
SteveC80 Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Well this proves it,women are not shallow:rolleyes:
theBrokenMuse Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 None of the guys (that I have seen) suggest that the single, solitary reason fathomable that women reject men is because of shallowness. I've just seen a whole lot of complaining about it being a common reason. So, I am not quite sure what the OP intended to explain that isn't already blatantly obvious.
djhall Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Eeek! He was just a reverse phone directory away from showing up at your door!
xpaperxcutx Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 No this had nothing to do with shallow, more like taking preemptive action to get rid of a stalker.
Awesome Username Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 In my opinion, you were not shallow. However here lies a bigger issue: Who cares if you are? Brainy chicks, like brainy guys, are self sufficient so never settle for somebody just because they seem sweet or nice. Unless a person makes YOU happy, no matter what they're doing, they're simply not the right person for you. He's obnoxious to you, but maybe he'll be some other woman's treasure.
OceanGirl Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Maybe she gave him an e-mail address that was associated with FB. That's the mistake I made.
sanskrit Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Consider not giving any personal info out to strangers on dating sites in the future until you have met them in person. The protection of anonymity is there for a reason, use it.
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 That's not a very good example. This guy was obviously a creep and you were right to reject him. There are still many very shallow women using OLD. I was chatting to someone over email who had contacted me first - she abruptly sent me an email telling me she couldn't have anything more to do with me, because I had put "occasionally" as my smoker status and she was dead against smoking. She didn't even bother to ask when the last time was I smoked - it was nine years ago! I also met someone who ended our date when she found out that I am a vegetarian. I dated someone who said we weren't compatible, as I hadn't paid for all the drinks that night. I could go on.
Andy_K Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 If you haven't smoked for nine years, don't you think it might be smarter to put non-smoker? I mean seriously, I haven't wet the bed since I was a little nipper, but I hardly count myself as an 'occasional' bed wetter
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 (edited) If you haven't smoked for nine years, don't you think it might be smarter to put non-smoker? I mean seriously, I haven't wet the bed since I was a little nipper, but I hardly count myself as an 'occasional' bed wetter That wasn't on the options : it was regularly, occasionally or never. But you're missing the point. Edited October 15, 2010 by Tim The Enchanter
atlnay Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Ok, so lots of folks on here complain about women being shallow and rejecting guys for no good reason, so let me share an experience I just had and you tell me if I'm being shallow. Not shallow and I don't think any sane man would find it shallow either. Shallow? Finding a GREAT guy, makes you laugh, treats you well, sparking conversation. He's 5ft 9 and you toss him overboard because you want to wear heels when you go out. *true story I overheard my girlfriends discussing a few months ago
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Finding a GREAT guy, makes you laugh, treats you well, sparking conversation. He's 5ft 9 and you toss him overboard because you want to wear heels when you go out. *true story I overheard my girlfriends discussing a few months ago Good example. I see this a lot on dating sites - women openly stating that you have to be at least 4-5 inches taller than her, because she likes wearing heels.
Alma Mobley Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Ok, so lots of folks on here complain about women being shallow and rejecting guys for no good reason, so let me share an experience I just had and you tell me if I'm being shallow. I'm on Okcupid and a guy opens a chat window, I'm bored so I chat with him for a bit. Red flag one: he rapid fires responces so fast that I can't get a word in. red flag two: he goes over board on the compliments "you'r face looks so kissable, your so beautiful, I am really attracted to you. red flag three: he finds my facebook page, which I maintain for students, gets my number, and calls me. The fact that I've blocked him has nothing to do with his age, appearance, or income. It has everything to do with the fact he doesn't have any sense of boundaries. Sorry, Brainy, bad example. This guy lacks boundaries and there isn't anything in here that says you are shallow for rejecting him. Now why don't you admit it and say you want a Brad Pitt look-a-like with a nine-inch c**k and three million dollars in the bank. I mean, you know that's what you want -- that's the least that an "average girl" wants. If you're above average, add five million to the bank account. Good luck to ya!
theBrokenMuse Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Now why don't you admit it and say you want a Brad Pitt look-a-like with a nine-inch c**k and three million dollars in the bank. I mean, you know that's what you want -- that's the least that an "average girl" wants. If you're above average, add five million to the bank account. Only FIVE million?! My gawd you ladies should stop settling and selling yourselves short... I mean what about the luxury jet? The jewel encrusted gold plated toilets? The private tropical island complete with handsome cabana boys? And Brad Pitt?! He's not tall which means that automatically he is nothing but an utter contemptible little troll to us ladies, duh. No! The man must be genetically altered to tower over you like a mighty redwood complete with a penis that is so long that it has to be carted around in a wheelbarrow for his own protection. I mean, have some self-respect and standards... geesh!
flying Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Good example. I see this a lot on dating sites - women openly stating that you have to be at least 4-5 inches taller than her, because she likes wearing heels. To stray OT for a second...there's a kind of irony in the idea that a woman who wears 4-5 inch heels is "shallow", seeing as she could probably stand in the deep end of the pool without getting her hair wet. (Har har.) Seriously, though, just the thought of wearing 4-5 inch heels makes my toes hurt. I cannot imagine passing on a guy for that purpose, and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. Anyway, topic. Brainygirl, I think it's pretty clear your choice to next this particular guy wasn't about being shallow at all. He's totally creepy. So he has your full name now? Yikes.
Author brainygirl Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 I think he found the facebook from my email address. I immediately changed my info and privacy settings on facebook so people couldn't just dig up my phone number. I wouldn't initiate contact with someone and then cut them off over something they stated in a profile. Nor would I stop seeing a vegitarian (unless he insisted I stop eating cow, cause I kinda enjoy it). I'm five two and don't care for heels, so I doubt I'd drop someone for height issues. My reason for posting was that I see lots of people blaming women for being shallow as the reason they aren't successful in dating. This guy probably is telling himself the same thing about me now. In reality, its probably some attitude or habit that is also to blame. I'm not saying that every person who is rejected did something terrible, but I am pointing out that certain actions, attitudes, and habits can certainly inhibit you.
theBrokenMuse Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I think he found the facebook from my email address. Just as a precautionary measure you might want to make a throw away e-mail addy (like gmail or yahoo) to use online for everything outside of your base work, family and friend interactions/activities.
lino Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Ok, so lots of folks on here complain about women being shallow and rejecting guys for no good reason, so let me share an experience I just had and you tell me if I'm being shallow. I'm on Okcupid and a guy opens a chat window, I'm bored so I chat with him for a bit. Red flag one: he rapid fires responces so fast that I can't get a word in. red flag two: he goes over board on the compliments "you'r face looks so kissable, your so beautiful, I am really attracted to you. red flag three: he finds my facebook page, which I maintain for students, gets my number, and calls me. The fact that I've blocked him has nothing to do with his age, appearance, or income. It has everything to do with the fact he doesn't have any sense of boundaries. I don't get it? Why would you think something like this makes you appear shallow?
sweetjasmine Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I don't get it? Why would you think something like this makes you appear shallow? She means that the guy is probably sitting there thinking he got rejected for no good reason and that she must be a shallow princess b-tch, when in reality there was a good reason for her to back off. Her point is that people often complain about being rejected for no good reason by shallow people when they actually did something to warrant the rejection.
lino Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Pretty poor example then. It's clear this guy has issues. I doubt a guy like that is sitting around thinking anything about the interaction he had with her. He's proably done the same thing to another 5 women since her.
Jannah Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 he finds my facebook page, which I maintain for students, gets my number, and calls me This has nothing to do with being Shallow.... This man's actions were offensive and wildly inappropriate.
Insanitylater Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Finding a GREAT guy, makes you laugh, treats you well, sparking conversation. He's 5ft 9 and you toss him overboard because you want to wear heels when you go out. *true story I overheard my girlfriends discussing a few months ago Most of the women in my area specifically state the same thing on their profile. " I like to wear heels so you need to be at least 6 inches taller than me " And the shorter the girl, the more superficial they are about height.
Recommended Posts