FaithInTheDark Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Recently I went out for drinks with this guy, we hit it off really well. We got to know each other, had good converstaions and made out for a long time. He seemed really sweet and majorly good looking I was excited about him, we kept in touch alot then i started to feel he was making less effort to keep in contact. I was lookin on his facebook and saw his status talking about another girl. So I confronted him on it and asked if he was seeing another girl? he replied "not really" I told him I didnt want to waste my time ;he replies : dont blame you" I told him i would of appreciated it if he would of told me and didnt play stupid mind games. He told me him and his ex were talking again and were thinking about getting back together. It def hurt my feelings. I ended up leaving something at his house and asked him to send it to me but he insists i come over and it it from his house. I dont want to see him and be reminded about the lack of respect he had for my feelings. So he emails me saying " Hello...so our last talk didnt end up so well eh?"..I said how did u think it would end? i feel disrespected, I was into you and u were into someone else and didnt tell me.. So a couple days ago, Im at a gas station getting gas, and he comes up behind me and says Hi..it was really random..and threw me off gaurd. He starts with the small talk, but I dont give him much response back. Then hes says "Your stuff will be waiting for you to get it at my house" I told him not to worry about it...He says " Im sorry"..and trys to give me a hug. and then I left drove away. I could bearly look at him i was just shocked to see him so randomly. He emails me saying: Hugs? I reply "its all good" ( i am still hurt by him but am gettin over it and dont want t drag it on) he responses back "it was good to see u, just so u know" I email back " Like what do you want from me?" ( i just dont want to be constantly reminded by him, im trying to get over him) he responses back today : at ver yleast friendship? the more i F*** up the more i realize i neeed more time to get my sh*t together and the rest will fall into place I just want to know what his guy is trying to do? Do u think hes trying to whine me back over to him? cus it really seems like hes trying to make an effort...any thoughts?? thank u
TaraMaiden Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 ...(. . .) at ver yleast friendship? the more i F*** up the more i realize i neeed more time to get my sh*t together and the rest will fall into place I just want to know what his guy is trying to do? Do u think hes trying to whine me back over to him? cus it really seems like hes trying to make an effort...any thoughts?? thank u Yes. Tell him friendship is not what you're in this for. You can get that at a poker club. Much as you'd like that, you refuse to be an option. Tell him that as soon as he feels he's finally gotten his "sh*t together" to call you then, not before. Maybe - if he's lucky, and you're still interested, things 'will fall into place' then. He can't have it all his way....
EasyHeart Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 What exactly did you expect from this guy? From you post, it sounds like you went out one time. Did you think that meant you were exclusive? Is every guy required to stop dating anyone else the moment he meets you?
Author FaithInTheDark Posted October 14, 2010 Author Posted October 14, 2010 thank you TaraMaiden, very good advice. As for EasyHeart, I def dont expect to be exclusive after one date. But yeah, i would expect a man to tell me that hes seeing someone else or about to be exclusive with another woman, if we were fooling around and keeping in contact often . ie: texting, emailing, online chatting, It def made me feel stupid trying to hang out again while hes interested in someone else but still keeping me on the side. its called communitcation and respect.....
atlnay Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 thank you TaraMaiden, very good advice. As for EasyHeart, I def dont expect to be exclusive after one date. But yeah, i would expect a man to tell me that hes seeing someone else or about to be exclusive with another woman, if we were fooling around and keeping in contact often . ie: texting, emailing, online chatting, It def made me feel stupid trying to hang out again while hes interested in someone else but still keeping me on the side. its called communitcation and respect..... Please lose that expectation now! You need to ASK. ("Are you involved with anyone?") Ask often. (Few days later, "So why no girlfriend? When was your last relationship?") Ask creatively! ("If we were in a bar can any chick come in here and be mad that I am with you?") But ask. Most men don't like to volunteer information like that. And if you don't want to ask, for whatever reason, I'm not a fan of assumptions, but in this case, you need to ASSUME. ASSUME every man that approaches you is involved with someone (to some degree). It'll save you from feeling stupid later. Good luck to you!
djhall Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Please lose that expectation now! You need to ASK. ("Are you involved with anyone?") Ask often. (Few days later, "So why no girlfriend? When was your last relationship?") Ask creatively! ("If we were in a bar can any chick come in here and be mad that I am with you?") But ask. I have to second this and expand on it to add that you darn well better make it absolutely, unequivocally, unambiguously clear if you believe your relationship has reached the point where the two of you are either sexually or romantically exclusive. And then ask to make sure he agrees. Many, many, many guys do not believe you are entitled to any information about their sexual or dating activities untill the two of you decide to make your relationship exclusive... up until that point they could be having sex with half-a-dozen other women and feel no obligation whatsoever to tell you anything about it. In the initial stages of dating that makes sense, but I think many times women believe the relationship has crossed some unspoken line where they are now assumed exclusive, but no one tells the guy and she finds out the hard way later.
JungleLover Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Sounds like you had high hopes and was falling too fast. You checked his facebook page and every thing and confronted him about what he had written on it. I would be very wary of a woman that did that to me. It sounds like he is just toying with you now and I get the idea that you show him how to push your buttons.
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