Feel ****ing angry - my vent/rant!

[Cuchara2]

I don't know why I'm suddenly so ****ing angry at my ex. I don't miss her any more, I don't care about her any more but she still pisses the **** out of me.

 

It's bull**** that she couldn't break up with me face to face when I KNEW something was up and I asked her what was up. She just said that she'd like to have less contact during summer to be with her friends she doesn't see any more because she lives in another country now (a form of a break)

 

It's BULL**** she let me have sex with her before I left for holidays and wouldn't see her for another month and a half because she'd leave before I came back. It's bull**** she acted normal on this day.

 

It's complete and UTTER CRAP that she didn't tell me she cheated on me with some guy at a club. It's ****ing bull**** I had to snoop her **** because she made me suspicious and put up all these red flags. When I read that she made out with someone at a club and confronted her about it, she wouldn't ****ing admit it. I showed her the ****ing email I found and her response was to ****ING LEAVE ME

 

It's total **** she can't admit to making out with him and in the email it says she ****ing did do it but noooo, according to her, she only pecked this person because he did it and she just "replied" to it because she "wasn't thinking". Do I look ****ing stupid? No. You were semi-drunk, at a club, and someone "pecked" you? Do you know how ridiculous you sound you dumbass bitch?

 

I just want to say this **** to my ex. I'm in No Contact. Should I? I need to get this stuff off my chest. It pisses me off I have to see her ****ing face every day. It pisses me off my friends are her friends. It pisses me off how she hates "I took it so hard"

 

I've never told her it because I always wanted to look calm and like I wasn't a dickhead..

 

AAGGHHH -.-

 

Rant over.

Edited October 14, 2010 by Cuchara2

[health]

I feel for you man. The worst is - at the end of all of this you have to forgive and move on for yourself.

 

People can do horrible things to you, they don't care - and you can care so much you can be hurt for years and untrust and all that crap.

 

After almost 2 years, I still have pain sometimes.

 

It's better she's not in your life - these people are not long term marriage material. Forget about them - no integrity, no honesty, think about the hellish times in your relationship don't put her on a pedastle.

 

Keep writing things like this in notebooks and vent. Be in empowering mind states mostly.

[LoveTNT]

Let it out!

 

I just did, where you write when you want to contact your ex etc..thread

 

felt good, but i don't like to be angry :/

[Cuchara2]

I actually love to be angry. It keeps me from feeling lonely etc. You're right, venting this **** makes it so much better. I feel like a changed person - I went out to find other people this weekend and I did. Just a couple of hours ago, a friend who lives in another country came round and we ended up having sex haha. I feel like a whole different person

[BlueMoonshine]

You have every right to be angry. You're hurt, she did wrong, you have feelings.

 

And I totally understand about wanting to contact her to say your piece. I know this forum is huge on No Contact, and I do agree with the concept, but it's not a framework for every situation.

 

Sometimes proper closure requires you to speak to the ex and get things off your chest.

 

You don't want her back, you don't love / care for her like you once did and maybe you don't even care that she cares....you simply want some answers.....you might get them, you might not....and if that meeting makes you heal a little better and lets you move on, then it's all good in my book.

 

Btw, its ok man....we've all been there. I suggest reading the threads in the Coping sub-forum. Some really good advice on how to handle relationship breakups.