skydiveaddict Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 (edited) She says she still loves me. We are not dating yet but we are going to go on a date on Sunday. I'm thinking of what we should do. I will most likely go to a movie and take her out to her favorite bar & grill. Any advice on how to go about this? I'd be VERY careful my friend. You may be setting yourself up to get your heart smashed to bits. Usually the speech goes "I still love you but.....". Fill in the blank. Most likely it's another guy. (Although she probably won't admit to it). This is all a guess on my part, I admit it, but I would still be ready. Remember, you already got the "I want space" speech. This will very rarely work out in your favor. Edited October 16, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Username37 Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Give space man. By not accepting the break will lead to a break up. Made that mistake Luck be with you friendo
broken-and-lost Posted October 16, 2010 Posted October 16, 2010 Hey Buddy! I see you are going through high anxiaty. Youre posts are like 10 min apart. Been there, done that! alone with youre thoughts and to be honest your immagination. Ones immagination is the worst enemy during a breakup. Now you did come across as a little controlling and somewhat possessive for a while before she said she wanted a break. Probably not aware of it, but im sure she felt that way. It seems to be her motivation to get some space and not be smothered. Now, in my opinion the right way to play it is to show her that you are not that way and what youre doing now doesent do that. Man your scared and worried as hell. You go from anger to grief in a matter of seconds and back again. Probably paceing the room all night and not a wink of sleep. Think of this as a game of strategy. Also remember that she hasent forgotten about you and just might hang with some guy but her mind will be on you often so just the phisical presence of some "date" is really insignificant. Take comfort in the fact that he thinks he is being "the man" but she has you on her mind. I will assure you of that. So with that as a way to calm your immagination down. Just be cool. Seriously... be in control and show her that youre confident in yourself and life is really positive and good. If you see her dont even bring up the relationship. Act like its the furthest thing from your mind. If she brings it up. Admit that youhad been unlike yourself sympathise with her feelings of being sufficated or upset that you seemed to not want to spend time with her. Agree with her feelings, dont argue how you are right. Its about her feelings. Dont beg to come back just acknowlege her feelings and explain how you were stupid about not noticing. Be positive about your life and gregarious, fun and very very laid back. She will #1 feel you are listening to her and man enough to have humility. #2 She will feel no pressure being with you and can relax, it will bring back what attracted her to you in the first place. I promise it will work but first you have to calm down and give it time give her some space dont come across like OJ Simpson. Whether you know it or not you have the high ground. Chill ... youre her man but you have to be patient with that knowlege. Remember chill give her space be happy and act positive about all the good things that are happening for your future (even if you have to streach the truth a bit) and if she asks admit that you agree with her feelings. Then chill for a while ... she will be back. This guy knows what he is talking about LISERN TO HIM..... i know i'm going to try and i'm going through something similar
Author McFarlin Posted October 18, 2010 Author Posted October 18, 2010 Were back together now. We are taking it slow and everything is going great. She told me on the phone earlier that today was the best time she has had in a very long time. SCORE!!!!!
Leandro Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 Were back together now. We are taking it slow and everything is going great. She told me on the phone earlier that today was the best time she has had in a very long time. SCORE!!!!! That's great to hear man!! Take things slowly.
tgr172 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 Havent seen another post from you so I assume you are not in need of any help getting through this. Now One word of caution, and I hope you check back in to see if anything has been posted, it is to not get too comfortable. It is sooo easy to fall back into the old ways. Make it a habit to think about how you felt when she was gone and what you promised yourself if she came around. It will jolt you into reality to truly change. Chill and DONT get too clingy or think youve got her and become controlling and insensitive. She is now sensitized to it and will be looking for any indication. What you need to do is think about all the great things in your life and all those great things that are in your future. User your immagination to immagine yourself being all you want to be and have... independant of her it should be about your life as an indivigual. You are alolowing her to share it and come to your party. So as not to be too possessive and smothering. She has a standing invitation to enjoy YOUR life not you are begging her toi let you be in hers. The latter will be a natural evolution. Hope you are remembering what caused the break-up and what got your head straight to get her back and your promises you made. Remember it a game of strategy... always... the game never ends. keep up being happy with your life, as an independant person. She adds to it and you want her there but it needs to be something that works for her also. Not a one sided street. Give her what she wants ... it has to be a 2 way street. Then if you are being easy and confident but her place doesent make you feel good then she needs to come to the center or its not working for YOU. DONT PUT HER IN A PLACE THAT SHE HAS TO FEEL YOU NEED HER TO MAKE YOU HAPPY! That is a hard task to lay on anyone and can be overwhelming.
bl22 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 OP can i give you some advice here, because your girl sounds pretty much exactly the same as my ex. Heres the story, with her 2 years known her 2 and half years. sweetest and most beautiful girl I've ever known. around a month ago she tells me she may have feelings for someone else, totally out of the blue, i was at her house having a laugh having fun and she says theres something i need to ask you... i said what....and she goes i think i may need a break from us, i was shocked and couldnt understand why she just told me she needs space 'to sort herself out' i said to her ok do you want me to leave and she says no no stay the night, and i did. That night she says the thought of losing me is too much and the break thing is a bad idea, so i was like hmm ok, and i totally forgot about it. Fast forward 2 weeks, she tells me she 'may' have feelings for someone else. I was gutted, it didnt even sink in what she'd said because i trusted her immensely and believed she couldnt do that to me. So i was like, what do you mean you MAY have feelings for someone else...you either do or you dont. She said 'I dont know , all i know is a love you more than anything' Few days later she rings me telling me shes had a chat with her mum and cleared her head, she tells me it's just an attention thing, that the guy she thought she may have feelings for was giving her lots of attention and that made her confused, and that her mum says she should stay with me. I was delighted and we arranged to meet up the next day. We did, had some nice food, talked, kissed, hugged, everything was great...then when she was leaving i said something like 'im glad you're not confused now and we can move forward'....she replies 'yeah i dont think i have feelings for him now' ....iwas like, woah what.....you dont 'think'? ....you told me its definately just friendship. She breaks down crying, and i was hearbroken, that was the last time i seen her. For days after she would ring/txt me asking me 'not to do this' and 'she wants to be with me' and everytime i said ok lets work things out, she'd feed me excuses. Then one night we arranged to talk and she never rung me, i found out later that she'd kissed that guy, but 'felt nothing'. few days later she goes on a night out with him and basically ignores all my txts and calls, tells me to forget about her and that 'she wants space and shes going to see how things go with this new guy' after 2 and half years of being with the love of my life, i was and stil am seriously heartbroken. I think what im trying to say is, you havent given her that space, like when my ex wanted a break from us, i never gave it her and look how it turned out. I think you 2 getting together when shes asked for space isnt going to do any good for you. Shes gonna break your heart sooner or later, seems like shes lost respect for you.
Hhhh Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 ahahahahah omGggggg is was the funnist thread i have ever read "I'm doubting if I even want the fat bitch back. I should just go have an orgy with 5 girls and forget all about this" ahahahahhaha
bl22 Posted November 9, 2010 Posted November 9, 2010 ahahahahah omGggggg is was the funnist thread i have ever read "I'm doubting if I even want the fat bitch back. I should just go have an orgy with 5 girls and forget all about this" ahahahahhaha lmao, if he really thinks shes fat then he can do better.
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