Hustle10 Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 I'm a little confused and need some advice. We're all in university. Here's the story. I showed up with my best mate and his gf to a party last Thursday night. His gf had been talking about her single friend to me for the better part of the week and it so happened that she was there. Her and I seem to hit it off good and we make out a bit and I get her number. The next night, my mate and his gf and the girl I met all went out to a different party together. This girl and I hadn't talked all day but we again hit it off really good and ended up making out all night on the couch. We come back to my place and make out some more on the bed but then she says that it's bad timing of the month and that she should probably go back to her place. I'm left scratching my head but whatever she lives in the same apartment complex, so I walk her back over to her place, mack some more, and then head back to my own pad. I start texting her a few days later on Monday and it seems to be going good. Every text message that she sends is some sexual metaphorish type statement and it's obvious she's flirting hard. I asked her if she wanted to come with my mate and his gf to a cafe that evening and she said she was busy studying and she couldn't. Later that night she sends me a message saying that she's going to keep me guessing a little while longer about what she's capable of. I played it off and she sent back that I had to guess about everything as of right now. Then she goes on to say "but I will say, think about what I've already shown and apply it to other...areas." I text her on Tuesday and same story we're both flirting hard back and forth, but when I asked if she wanted to grab dinner she said that she had her best friend over and that they were already making dinner, and then asked for a rain check. I mentioned maybe we could grab a coffee later in the evening and she said maybe but then blew me off and never texted back. Wednesday (yesterday) we're again talking through text and it surmounted to mostly small talk all day. She has succeeded in the fact that yes, I'm guessing about everything right now lol. What's the deal with this girl. Hard to get or not interested?
Truly Lost Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Sounds to me like she is trying to see how much you really like her and to what length you will go to in order to see her again. It's really a childish way of getting attention, but it seems to work on guys.
Author Hustle10 Posted October 14, 2010 Author Posted October 14, 2010 So should I continue to text/call her or throw a little NC her way? If NC how long should I maintain it before calling/texting her?
waynebrady Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 She is playing hard to get. I can only speak for myself but I would never even bother to pursue a woman who plays games like that, I'd consider it humilating and emasculating to actually let a woman keep me guessing like that and play me around but that's just me Women who play hard to get are not relationship material anyway, they will only play you around forever. However if you do chose to chase her then good luck, that's obviously what she wants you to do.
Andy_K Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Ask her out on a date that isn't the same day. Of course she's going to blow you off if she's already got a friend over. Try something like "Hey, we should go for drinks sometime this week. I'm free sunday or tuesday, which suits you best?" If she blows you off or makes excuses, forget it. Go NC cause she's not that interested. If she can't make it but goes out of her way to arrange another specific time, great. If she accepts straight out, also great. Suggesting something at least a day or two in advance gives her time to think of it as a date, and get excited, dress up, gossip with her friends about it, etc.
Truly Lost Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Well, if you go NC for a while it will definately raise an eyebrow. Sometimes NC can help with triggering her concern of finding out if she might have had a good thing and let it slip away. However, it may also make her think you lost interest and don't want to pursue her anymore. Men usually chase after women and women really like that. It's really when the signs of rejection become unmistakenly obvious that you should do the NC thing. I think toning down the pursuit a bit would be good, just to see if that will encourage her to contact you. But if you really like her and want to see where it goes it's important that you keep the air of communication going. Good luck!!
VeveCakes Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Enough with the texting.... CALL HER! Texting gets you no where...
John018 Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 My advice is similar to what others have posted. Wait a day or two and then CALL her. Ask her out on a date and if she accepts or makes a counter offer then great. If not then maybe she's not too interested.
mksinclare Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Going through the same kinda situation, no final answer to any questions, dont know the next time we are gonna hook up! so i am leaving it for a couple of days if i hear nothing, ill call, ask her out and then adios and delete out my phone if the answer is anything but a yes!
Author Hustle10 Posted October 14, 2010 Author Posted October 14, 2010 thanks for all of the responses. I was leaning towards hard to get because she does text me back and we have good conversations she just never initiates and plays other little games as someone above mentioned. Perhaps I'm blinkered from just getting out of a crummy long term relationship where I lived with the girl.. I'm going to call her tonight or tomorrow and chat her up. I'm afraid that if I faff around and don't keep the communication open she'll move on. Us blokes are a dime-a-dozen at university, girls too for that matter.
Cee Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Ask her out on a date that isn't the same day. I wanted to repeat Andy_K's advice. Chatting her up tonight isn't going to lead to anything unless you ask her on a date on a different day.
Author Hustle10 Posted October 14, 2010 Author Posted October 14, 2010 that's right, I was planning on setting something up for this weekend or early next week. I have to go play paramedic tonight anyway..
that girl Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 Hmmm..... I'm not so sure she is playing hard to get, she might just be busy. I text her on Tuesday and same story we're both flirting hard back and forth, but when I asked if she wanted to grab dinner she said that she had her best friend over and that they were already making dinner, and then asked for a rain check. I mentioned maybe we could grab a coffee later in the evening and she said maybe but then blew me off and never texted back She told you she had plans and couldn't do anything. She didn't blow you off by not texting you later that night for coffee. Again, she already had plans. Give her some advanced notice, like "Want to grab a drink Monday or Wednesday?" Then she can either accept or if she is really that crazy busy, suggest Tuesday. But it is silly to keep asking her out last minute and then being surprised when she has plans.
Author Hustle10 Posted October 17, 2010 Author Posted October 17, 2010 Well I called her a couple nights back as I said I would. She didn't answer and then texted me about 20 minutes later saying that she was making dinner with her girlfriends and didn't hear the phone. I asked her when a good time to talk would be and she asked why. I half-jokingly half seriously said "did the thought ever occur to you that maybe I might think you seem like a cool person that I would want to get to know better?" We ended up texting until about 2am, pretty good chat. I decided that I was done playing this game so I asked her where this was going. She said "I think this is slowly creeping forward, but I hardly ever play by the rules" What is that supposed to mean? We hardly talked at all Friday or Saturday just because we were both busy more than anything else. I'm debating on if I should try and call her again tonight or just let it go.
Cracker Jack Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 The last text implies that she's clearly someone who'll play hard to get. Not sure if you have the patience for that, tho.
Love&KissesXoXo Posted October 17, 2010 Posted October 17, 2010 Yes, she is playing hard to get. Id say, keep texting her a wee bit more, then suddenly stop... hahah. Thats what a guy did, and I went NUTS! Serious. Yes, we do want to see how much you are willing to go after us... because we are woman.
Author Hustle10 Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 We talked on Monday and set up a date for wednesday... wednesday morning she texted me and told me that she had a lot of school work to do and that she would have to bail. She said she's not trying to be flakey just a lot is going on, and to wait for a week when she doesn't have so much school work. I asked her when that would be and she said that she's not sure but hopefully soon. Now what?
Author Hustle10 Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 (edited) my roommate's gf who is good friends with her did say that she seemed really excited about it though and was talking it up to her Edited October 21, 2010 by Hustle10
Sabali Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Just read your last posts. Forget about her. No more texting or calling until she contacts you.
redmelon Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 you should tell her the ball is in her court and that she can contact you when she gets some free time. that way you don't have to speculate anymore.
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