Being Done Over?

[coolstorybro]

i met this girl over a month ago on the internet, she lives a hour flight away from me, about a 8 hour drive, we really connect and we both love each other alot, from what i understand anyway.

 

we are both 17, and she has had a lot of bad things in her life, i have not met her in person yet, but we communicate alot through facebook and we have talked to each other over the phone for 1 hour to 3 hours a night for the past month.

 

just 2 weeks ago she told me that a month and a half ago, she had been raped many times in a few days, also that her parents beat her, but she tells me it doesn't matter and that she pretends it was a dream.

 

i felt very sorry for her, wasn't sure what i could do and still do not.

 

just 3 days ago she told me about this guy she hangs out with alot, he is 23, she is 17, she said she is slowly falling in love with him, she can feel it, she thinks about him and gets sad if he doesn't talk to her when she see's him.

 

but she said it's ok because she loves me, and that she won't fall in love with him. he walks her home neerly every day, they spend alot of time together, he shouts her dinner and the movies alot. she has known him for 5 weeks, he has alreaddy told her that he loves her, 3 times, she tells me that she told him that she doesn't see him that way, but when i went on her facebook she had a message from a friend asking if they were dating she said no, because she's not ready for a relationship, and shes fridget.

 

she always puts herself down, telling herself shes ugly i always tell her she's beautiful, she always says that she is fat, or pays herself out, i give her a lot of sympothy, when i tell her shes beautiful she gets angry at me and tells me to shut up and that she believes me, then the next day it starts over, she thinks shes ugly and i have to tell her otherwise.

 

i look on her facebook and she says shes fat and ugly and alot of guys tell her otherwise and leave xoxo or <3 etc, is this a sympothy act? she knows shes not ugly or fat.

 

i looked in her messages to find she has been with about 4 other guys this year in a internet relationship, told them there the only one for her and that she loves them, but they are now over with, she said similar things in those emails as she said to me.

 

she does not know i have her facebook account, she told me my friend is hot, and she posts comments on other peoples photo's about how they are hot and cute xoxo's <3s but the way she says it is more than just ur cute friendship kind of way..

 

she does love me, she is not a hoe and isn't slutty, but she has sexting me once, but she regreted it and wanted me to delete it the next day.

 

am i being done over like the other 4 guys this year? is she about to move onto this 23 year old? she has dated 20 something year olds before.

Edited October 14, 2010 by coolstorybro

[lizzibeth]

yeah, imo, it sounds like she's moving on.

[Rollercoasterr]

There's way many more red flags in this besides the 4 guys, but yes you are being done over. Run, don't walk away if you don't want to get hurt. If you don't(and a lot of people dont in this situation) you're going to find out that a lot of things about her aren't true, and it's going to hurt way worse than walking away ever could.

[coolstorybro]

There's way many more red flags in this besides the 4 guys, but yes you are being done over. Run, don't walk away if you don't want to get hurt. If you don't(and a lot of people dont in this situation) you're going to find out that a lot of things about her aren't true, and it's going to hurt way worse than walking away ever could.

 

thanks alot for the reply, it seems so real but, i won't lie she is kind of corky and maybe not as slim and pretty as other chicks, but i mean how could she talk to me every night for a month if she loves him...

 

tonight i hung up the conversation after she told me in our relationship it doesn't matter if i experiment with other chicks, it just sounds like she doesn't love me.

 

i mean i don't want her experimenting with other guys... am i too attatched?

[coolstorybro]

yeah, imo, it sounds like she's moving on.

 

ah that sucks, was fairly attatched too her. she seemed like she had everything i was looking for, and as if she enjoyed our time together.

 

she told me that yes she loves him a little bit she can feel it, but she is willing to never see him again just to prove it.

 

i say i want her not to see him but i also don't want her to block people who care about her out of her life, so she goes and see's him the next day. should i be firm with her and see what happens?

 

i mean if i've alreaddy lost her what else can i do, i want to move away but can't.

[Rollercoasterr]

No, you're not too attached, she's just smooth with her words.

 

Look, I'm gonna be honest here, I've played around like she is a few times when I was younger. I saw that my friend was doing it and we kind of thought it was a game. Not cool. I told one guy that I had been abused, that I had a guy who was almost stalking me(which was actually true, btw), and a bunch of other really bad stuff that I'm ashamed I even thought of. Well guess what? He drove all the way down here from NJ in the middle of the night, wrecked, and was told by a police officer that knew me and my family that none of that was true. He had to find out a harsh and violent way that I had lied to him.

 

And not even just that, but there was another guy on here a while back who had a girl doing almost the same exact thing as your girl is doing. Do you think that ended well? Nope.

 

This girl is not what she seems. Do not let yourself get too attached to her. Run away.

[coolstorybro]

JUST TO BE CLEAR:

 

She goes to the internet cafe everyday to play a online game with me, this 23 year old goes there too, she says im the only reason she goes, but she went there a few months before she met me, plus she is usually playing with her other friends & sometimes this 23 year old before me.

 

Just from her personality herself though... she stays up until 1am to talk to me when she needs to get up at 7, i mean why would she do so much for me.

[coolstorybro]

No, you're not too attached, she's just smooth with her words.

 

Look, I'm gonna be honest here, I've played around like she is a few times when I was younger. I saw that my friend was doing it and we kind of thought it was a game. Not cool. I told one guy that I had been abused, that I had a guy who was almost stalking me(which was actually true, btw), and a bunch of other really bad stuff that I'm ashamed I even thought of. Well guess what? He drove all the way down here from NJ in the middle of the night, wrecked, and was told by a police officer that knew me and my family that none of that was true. He had to find out a harsh and violent way that I had lied to him.

 

And not even just that, but there was another guy on here a while back who had a girl doing almost the same exact thing as your girl is doing. Do you think that ended well? Nope.

 

This girl is not what she seems. Do not let yourself get too attached to her. Run away.

 

thanks for your advice, you know i wan't to, she told me i am the only person that knows about this stuff reken that's a lie? she tells me she gets sad thoughts when i bring it up.

 

i'm going to be honest, im attatched to this girl, and in her email about 4 months ago is flight details when she moved in with someone she met online, it was actually very close to were i live, she even said to me she would come down to visit me in 2 months ( my birthday ).

 

she's very mindfarking, i could post some things shes done to mindfark me but i think it's sort of irrelivant

[Rollercoasterr]

Why wouldn't she do so much for you?? I mean, really it's not that hard to guess. She's already done this to 4 other guys. If you were the only reason she goes to this cafe, you would be her number 1 priority. Playing with everyone else would wait.

 

When I was 17 everyone my age was staying up until 2-3 in the morning to mess around on the internet. Granted that was back with ICQ was still cool, but we did it. Staying up late doesn't prove affection, it just says that she's young and doesn't need as much sleep as everyone else.

 

It's not as if I strictly played that former guy like he was just a game. I actually cared about him. The game just got too big. I spent my every waking second thinking about him, writing him emails, and I talked to him until at least 5am every night. But in the end it was only just a game.

 

At this point I'm going to assume that every thing she says is a lie. I guarantee that the other 4 guys knew about her "abuse", but were told that they were the only ones who knew.

 

And if she's in the US, she's not legal until she's 18. How did she move out with someone she met online? I call shenanigans on everything this chick says.

Edited October 14, 2010 by Rollercoasterr

[coolstorybro]

Why wouldn't she do so much for you?? I mean, really it's not that hard to guess. She's already done this to 4 other guys. If you were the only reason she goes to this cafe, you would be her number 1 priority. Playing with everyone else would wait.

 

When I was 17 everyone my age was staying up until 2-3 in the morning to mess around on the internet. Granted that was back with ICQ was still cool, but we did it. Staying up late doesn't prove affection, it just says that she's young and doesn't need as much sleep as everyone else.

 

It's not as if I strictly played that former guy like he was just a game. I actually cared about him. The game just got too big. I spent my every waking second thinking about him, writing him emails, and I talked to him until at least 5am every night. But in the end it was only just a game.

 

wow thank you so much for this, i feel like it's easier to let go, but still can't. i want to wait a little while longer, maybe a week?

 

i'm starting to understand that this is a trap, but if she was willing to move to where she met someone else online in with him, for a month, until i think that's the guy who raped her... and she's willing to come see me, and maybe even move in with me... i mean she's done it before, couldn't she do it again? maybe theres a small chance that it's real but she gets so many people flirting with her because no girls play this game and when they hear her on mic i get pretty jelous because they flirt.

[Rollercoasterr]

All I'm gonna say is that you've got no actual proof that she's actually done this before. No solid proof other than the things she says. She may just be saying she moved in with someone she met online. The fact that she's so young and says that she's done this stuff is the major red flag. How did she intend to pay her part of the rent? If she's only 17 I doubt that her parents or family would be so happy to pay for her to live in a strangers apartment.

 

Start questioning the things she says. Ask her everything. Pretty soon she'll get her stories twisted or get mad that you're asking questions. That's when you'll have your own proof that she's lying. Oh, and personally, I wouldn't be above contacting those other guys to see what she told them in the past. But that's me, and what works for me doesn't work for other people.

 

Give it as much time as you need, but really question things and think on the critical side. Everything she says is designed to make you care for her and feel sorry for her so you'll get attached. If you stop believing her then pretty soon all you've got is a little girl who likes to lie.

[coolstorybro]

All I'm gonna say is that you've got no actual proof that she's actually done this before. No solid proof other than the things she says. She may just be saying she moved in with someone she met online. The fact that she's so young and says that she's done this stuff is the major red flag. How did she intend to pay her part of the rent? If she's only 17 I doubt that her parents or family would be so happy to pay for her to live in a strangers apartment.

 

Start questioning the things she says. Ask her everything. Pretty soon she'll get her stories twisted or get mad that you're asking questions. That's when you'll have your own proof that she's lying. Oh, and personally, I wouldn't be above contacting those other guys to see what she told them in the past. But that's me, and what works for me doesn't work for other people.

 

Give it as much time as you need, but really question things and think on the critical side. Everything she says is designed to make you care for her and feel sorry for her so you'll get attached. If you stop believing her then pretty soon all you've got is a little girl who likes to lie.

 

wow you are amazing at making me feel alot better haha! in her email a few months ago is a message from jetstar fight her flight details etc its legit as ive seen what they look like from when i went to nz and its from the website, but yes i might get in contact with the past ex's and see what she said to them, thank you alot for this !

[aerogurl87]

I read about the first 4 sentences of the original post and one word popped into my head, LIES! This girl is lying, don't buy her crap, and move on. You can and will do so much better.

[coolstorybro]

I read about the first 4 sentences of the original post and one word popped into my head, LIES! This girl is lying, don't buy her crap, and move on. You can and will do so much better.

 

thanks 4 support

Edited October 14, 2010 by coolstorybro

[LisaLee]

I read about the first 4 sentences of the original post and one word popped into my head, LIES! This girl is lying, don't buy her crap, and move on. You can and will do so much better.

 

That is exactly what I thought. This brings up an issue... when I was younger (a teenager, around this girl's age) I knew several young teens who were quick to claim they were raped. They were open, candid, quite unemotional about it, almost... dare I say... like they were bragging? At the least I felt I was being played for sympathy. Has anyone else experienced this?

 

But anyway, that is the first thing I thought when I read this thread. Not to belittle rape or someone who has suffered through it, but from my experience I tend to be dubious with anyone who is frank about being raped... especially with a relative stranger, and most especially if seems like they are trying to win your pity.

[coolstorybro]

it's been 5 days since i wrote this, i have kept at it with her and it seemed like it was going very well, today she sent me nude pictures and said she loved me etc.

 

tonight she rung me up and was very different, she has bipolar and sometimes is depressed. she told me she doesn't want to love me anymore because i am too nice, and told me it's over, this was a few hours ago when she went too sleep.

 

is it completely done for? or was it her bipolar talking. why would she send me nude pictures if 8 hours later she decides she does not love me anymore, can her love for me change that easily?

 

is 'being too nice' a legit reason to break up with me... i mean she mentioned some little things but honestly that's got to be very strange if she stopped loving me because of the tiniest things, i mean i didn't mention her flaws.

[caramelday]

it's been 5 days since i wrote this, i have kept at it with her and it seemed like it was going very well, today she sent me nude pictures and said she loved me etc.

 

tonight she rung me up and was very different, she has bipolar and sometimes is depressed. she told me she doesn't want to love me anymore because i am too nice, and told me it's over, this was a few hours ago when she went too sleep.

 

is it completely done for? or was it her bipolar talking. why would she send me nude pictures if 8 hours later she decides she does not love me anymore, can her love for me change that easily?

 

is 'being too nice' a legit reason to break up with me... i mean she mentioned some little things but honestly that's got to be very strange if she stopped loving me because of the tiniest things, i mean i didn't mention her flaws.

 

 

How are you sure she really has biploar disorder?