idk_27 Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 It's a long story but i'll try to keep it short. its been 5 years so its hard to condense but I'll try. My current, and only honestly serious girldfriend, and I started dating in high school. My first main concern was her volume of drinking. I tried to ignore it but it is against my values. I told her it would lead to some bad consequences. Sure enough, a few months later and she gets really drunk, a guy comes onto her. She tries to get away but he steals a kiss. Not completely her fault but i still blamed her drinking and bad choices for it. I broke it off and we seperated for about a month. When we got back, she said she was done drinking, She was for about 6 months and she was back. plus she experimented with pot. obviously against my values. anyway, as it goes on she has i guess would be called an "emotional affair". She just kept talking to this guy. She KNEW he liked her and she kept it going until he finally told her to call it off, then she bailed and stopped. I had to be told by a girl i didn't even know what was happening. after that, things were great until almost exactly a year later. the drinking spiked and she did the same thing with another guy and it went until he kissed her. she admits she didn't pull away. after that she told him they couldnt see each other anymore. she said she was sorry and begged for forgiveness. then she started talking to him again, claiming he was a good friend. i called BS but kept going for a couple more weeks before calling it off. she dated around and so did i and we got back together about 6 months later. she said she was done drinking, turned from that life and that she wanted me forever. she always claimed she wanted me forever but just got confused and thats what made the last two things happen. it wouldnt happen again. but before we got back together i had sex with a good friend of mine. a girl she had always been a little weary of. i didnt like her or have feelings. it was honestly a man just wanting some, i know i know. but at any point in time while we've been official, i've never once stepped out of line, but she always claims i want other girls, or other girls could make me happier. it always pissed me off but i bore it because i knew she had lingering feelings about that one girl that i havent talked to since then. recently she started claiming all of my little quirks were pissing her off and that if i kept doing it, she would break up with (in a jokey kind of way but still). she says i dont do enough. i just want to stay in the whole time. i admit it, i do. she told me she was having doubts and just wasnt sure but that it was mainly caused from being unsure about her future, as she is about to graduate and has no idea what she wants to do. she even talked to her sisters and friends about if she should take a break from me. its a girl that KNEW i was gonna propose. then a couple weekends ago, we had a fight and she went out of town to visit a girlfriend. while she was there she met a guy she kind of of knew. sure enough she kisses him. she didnt give me details, and i didnt push for them, not wanting to visualize it. i read it in an email. i confronted her and she claimed that she was gonna tell me that night. it seemed to be sincere. but her apology was crap. she actually came back and re-apologized later. it seems ridiculous to me that she had to apologize twice. honestly, while she did it, she didnt feel like she was doing to much wrong. she rationalized. then she said it all clicked and she definitely wants me forever. honestly, all of our differences are starting to click in my head and i think its clicked with her. she is just denying it. that why she does this crap. but she claims she loves me and wants me forever no matter what and that she doesnt want anyone but me. she just has an odd way of showing it. i admit that i may not do enough to make interesting things happen and liven things up, but that no excuse. i know a kiss isnt sex, but still. come on! i know that i should have been much more upfront and less of a pushover the first time. and the second time. now its the third time. come on. all i want to know is if she REALLY loves me or if she is afraid of being alone. if she really loves me, i'll fix it again. if i'm being an idiot and need to get the heck out because she doesnt really want me, i would like to know. i know where the evidence points to but i dont want to talk to my close friends cuz they all know and love her and i dont want to change their view of her. what do you think?
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