NickJH1 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Dear Love Shack Members Girls and Boys!!! Here is my story the short version!!!. Met my girl in June 2009 while she was visiting a UK uni for 3 months and lived with her at Uni In England untill Sep 2009 during that time we fell in love. She moved back to Madrid Spain and we kept the relationship going untill July 2010. She split up with me as she was unhappy with the LDR situation. I didnt have a job and still looking for a career job (temping at the moment). I think she didnt see us having a future. I think we do have a future. When we split up she said to have no contact with her so I waited, it was only 3 weeks after and then she IM me on msn and we had a friendly chat and it was nice. Since then she went to California as part of her UNI work. She is there untill Xmas. we shared a few MSN chats and I emailed her a few times and talked on cam on skype for 10 mins, all friendly and good but thats it. Our Skype call was on Sep 15th 2010 and since then we have had no contact at all. I have been going crazy wanting to email her but know its a good idea not to. When she wants to chat she will get in touch or will she???. I suppose my simple question is this - Keep No contact and wait for her? or send her a brief catch up email? We are in diff Time zones so its difficult to be online together i appreciate this, but emailing can be done. Why hasnt she emailed me i ask myself????? Has she moved on found someone??? these thoughts drive me crazy. Equally she could be thinking why isnt he chasing me after being interested in me initially? Any thoughts???? Nick.
Idalis Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 My guess is its the latter of your suggestions.. why aren't you chasing her?? I mean, you obviously have feelings for her, so why not put them out there instead of playing the waiting game. Isn't it better to have an answer, even if its a solid NO, than to not have any idea whats going on?? I wonder if when she ended things you tried to object at all? Or if you just said okay and thats it. I'm of the thought that if you love someone you fight for them, not stalker, crazy type, but you don't let them go without saying anything. I think its best to know that you gave it your all, then even if you lose at least you know that it wasn't b/c you didnt speak up!
Capital P Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 My guess is its the latter of your suggestions.. why aren't you chasing her?? I mean, you obviously have feelings for her, so why not put them out there instead of playing the waiting game. Isn't it better to have an answer, even if its a solid NO, than to not have any idea whats going on?? I wonder if when she ended things you tried to object at all? Or if you just said okay and thats it. I'm of the thought that if you love someone you fight for them, not stalker, crazy type, but you don't let them go without saying anything. I think its best to know that you gave it your all, then even if you lose at least you know that it wasn't b/c you didnt speak up! Nah, dude dont chase whatever you do. She knows you have feelings and unless she tells you she wants u back, giver her no emotion. I barely chased at all with my ex. We were still together and i made more of an effort and even that made her back off. Then she started texting me, then she starts telling me shes just ****ed someone. Seriously dude, its been a long time and u arent over it. You need a clean break from this. Complete NC, work on urself
Capthxc Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I dont really agree with these people that have the "chase her down" mentality. I know if i tried to do that with my ex she would get annoyed to the point of changing her number and blocking me out of her life completely, even though im getting the silent treatment right now. Let her know how you feel, and then just go NC. That's what ive pretty much done. I sent her an e-mail and plenty of messages that said i still have feelings and would love to reconcile or even be friends, but if im not going to sit here and chase you, i'll let you come back to me on your own accord. It shows maturity and respect. The kind of woman that sits back and plays mind games, such as expecting you to chase her down, isnt the type of woman you would want to be with anyways.
Author NickJH1 Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Dear All, I didnt expect such prompt reply to my post. Firstly thank you Capthxc, Capital P and Idalis for replying. Idalis yes I do have feelings for her but at present It is not the time to tell her. She is several thousand miles away. If she knew How I feel, she could just sit back and forget about me cause she know I will always be there. Capthxc and Capital - I agree with you about not chasing her. I agreed with the breakup when it happened. we had 3 weeks NC then we have briefly chatted here and there, all nice small talk. Last time we spoke was 15th Sep on skype. 2 days ago I sent her an email. Just an email saying hope she is ok. Nothing major a very clear and concise email. A friend asking a friend how they are. I have not had a reply yet although I know its early days even if she is going to reply to it. She might reply to it or wait untill both of us are online perhaps. Who knows. She may well of moved on out there in California. If I dont get a reply in a reasonable time frame then indeed its time for me to forget her and move on myself. Nick.
kaycstamper Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 My personal take is to let it go. If it's meant to be, she will contact you, she knows where you are.
Author NickJH1 Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 Hey Guys, Well after peoples advice from various sources. On the 13th October I sent my Ex an email. It certainly wasnt a chasing email, just an email saying hope she is enjoying California her work and social life. Now she hasnt replied to it as of yet. If she doesnt reply to it like I said in say 2 weeks time then that tells me its time for me to move on. Nick
Author NickJH1 Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 The day I was dreading but also looking forward too. My ex girlfriend still hasnt replied to my email, So I have decided its time to forget about her completely. Its going to be hard, but hardcore NC from my end is paramount. Im still confused as why after having contact she would suddenly stop. She possibly met someone else or simply just doesnt value me and her in a friendship sense. Who knows but importantly its time not to care. Nick.
Author NickJH1 Posted October 27, 2010 Author Posted October 27, 2010 When we first broke up, she got back in contact within 3 weeks. But its been since the 15th of september we last spoke. I dont know now If I will even respond if she gets back in contact. If reconciliation is going to happen it will be long down the road so right now its best for me to Love myself. I have had plenty of time to sort out myself out. The main problem of me not having a job has been resolved. I will be starting it in a week or two., and in the meantime im temporarily working in a warehouse. I have learnt a great deal in the past 2 months. Its a shame she will never see the corner I turned. The corner I was going to turn, she dumping me just spurred me on even more to turn it, to turn it not for her to turn it for me. I would say my Karma is now all good and I strive for awareness. I know what mistakes I made and will not make them again. Sometimes the Angels gift is not to give you what you want. Nick.
Author NickJH1 Posted November 1, 2010 Author Posted November 1, 2010 Hey Guys and Gals, So this friday I had a Car accident on the motorway. I was lucky I got away with few bruises only. This experience has told me one thing. Dont sit around moping or feeling sorry for yourself. Go out and enjoy each day cause it could be your last!!!! Peace Out. Nick
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