Author Spazz Posted March 26, 2004 Author Posted March 26, 2004 SoleMate said, "At least find someone who you have some feelings for, even if only mild affection or admiration, and be honest with her that you're just looking for something quick and enjoyable." Good advice, that's my best bet. "Don't pick up someone late at night when you're drunk - I don't want your first "morning after" to be of the "OH SH*T WHAT IS THIS IN MY BED??!!??" LOL! That is probably the second worst thing to picking up a prostitute!
priscilla Posted March 26, 2004 Posted March 26, 2004 Don't lie. Any woman who is not a virgin herself will probably be able to tell that you are a virgin. If the woman has any feelings for you, she won't care. She will be more than happy to teach you a few things.
Author Spazz Posted March 28, 2004 Author Posted March 28, 2004 Priscilla said "Any woman who is not a virgin herself will probably be able to tell that you are a virgin." Yeah, there is a certain give away factor to having no experience. "If the woman has any feelings for you, she won't care. She will be more than happy to teach you a few things." Thank you that is a good sentiment but won't she worry about whether she can be properly pleased? Otherwise, why would women ever talk about bad lovers?
priscilla Posted March 28, 2004 Posted March 28, 2004 If you are with a woman around your age, chances are she has been with a few guys and has learned what makes her happy. Even though our equipment is the same, some of the parts get more excited than others. Everyone is different in what turns them on. So what this means is that usually we have to give the guy some instruction subtly anyway. Once you know what turns her on, you should have no problem pleasing her. Women talk about bad lovers because they have maybe learned one way to make love and no one has told them that they need to make some changes, so they think they are great in bed, when they really aren't. Another bad lover is someone who would be selfish in bed, only caring about their own pleasure, but not the woman's. Or, they have been watching too much porn and think that that is the way it is done. Porn is not making love, there is a difference. Finally if you meet someone and she doesn't want to be with you because you are a virgin, then she wasn't worth it anyway.
Bill Posted March 28, 2004 Posted March 28, 2004 Posted by SoleMate 2) Your shyness ("social anxiety disorder") can be treated with antidepressants and perhaps some counselling. So pick up the phone right NOW Shyness is NOT social anxiety disorder. You are in no position to prescribe medications nor diagnose anyone.
Author Spazz Posted April 1, 2004 Author Posted April 1, 2004 Thanks Bill, I sure am not looking for anyone to play pop-psychologist with me. You are right about the differences between shyness and social anxiety disorder. I just wanted women's contemporary views on virginity, just so I know what I am up against, should I meet that right woman in the future:)
sporteguy03 Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 Try Speed dating, its a great way to meet women and guys. Everyone talks to each other its safe and fun and will get you to talk to women.
sporteguy03 Posted April 1, 2004 Posted April 1, 2004 Spazz, I feel the standard walking up to a girl at a bar thing is very itimidating. She might not even be there to meet guys but Speed dating they are. try Hurrydate.com they have plenty of events for people your age. They are professionals like yourself Doctors, teachers etc and they are there to meet guys like you. I found it fun to actually talk to a girl who wanted me to talk to her a lot more easier then approaching a random one besides if you don't like one you can't always meet another.
Author Spazz Posted April 3, 2004 Author Posted April 3, 2004 Hey sporteguy, is Hurrydate.com a pay site your can just anyone log on and hook up free? Can you tell me the accounts ins and outs?
Nostalgic Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 Hey Spazz, not sure if you're still out there but if so...very curious here... Did ya or didn't ya yet?
RecordProducer Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 The sexual activity is instinctive like eating, drinking or going to the bathroom. A baby is born with a sucking instinct and it learns later how to use a fork and knife. You will know what to do when the moment comes. With time you will develop your skills together with your partner. I was my ex-husband's second woman in bed and he was fine in the sack. His first wife was his first and she never found out about that, he never told her. He was also her first and their sex was okay from the very beginning. Just don't make the mistake that many guys with too few partners in the past make - accuse your woman of being a slut, because she's had more partners than you. Don't even ask how many she's had! I can't teach you how to be talkative and self-confident, but I can give you a small piece of advice that might change your life: smile a lot! Women LOVE guys who smile friendly. It can be so seductive. Listen to them carefully when they talk, look in their eyes as much as possible, and many women will like to dig out the nice, mysterious guy in you. Don't be scared, most women are just fragile souls that crave for love and understanding.
Outcast Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 And again an antique post is dragged out of the dust. What's wrong with at least sticking to 2005's posts?
kitkat826 Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 Hehe..I kind of liked it. It bring newbies like me up to speed..plus, nosy people I'm sure DO want an update...
RecordProducer Posted August 25, 2005 Posted August 25, 2005 So what? As long as the conversation and exchange of thoughts go on, it's kewl... Besides, this thread was posted in 2005. I wanted to comment something that some girls wrote here. Inexperience is not bad by itself. I wouldn't care if I am the first or the 101st if the guy is good in bed. I've had men with lotza miles who sucked in the sack and men to whom I was the first or the second and were good. The part that would bother me in theory is that the kind of person who is a virgin in his 30's, probably has a personality structure that I wouldn't be delighted at.
Nomad Posted September 17, 2005 Posted September 17, 2005 I am in mid-twenties & have never been able to get laid. It is not by choice. It bothers me a lot, & I've strongly been considering just paying for a hooker & getting it done & over with & out of my system. Since you're even older than I, perhaps you might consider doing the same. Life sucks if you're not good-looking & this stuff is what guys like us have to resort to.
Mary3 Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 You dont have to tell anyone that you are a virgin. Just say to her that you have little experience because you are shy. We are understanding of that and would love to teach you ! lol Remember : Practice Practice !
NYgages Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 Open your yellow pages. Call an escort service, tell them you'd like to see a lady. They'll ask your location and real name. Maybe they'll describe the selection they have, or just tell who they will send. The lady will call you in a few minutes for directions to your place. Have the $ and your drivers license in plain view near the phone. This will get rid of your problem. It's not pretty to some, but it is a solution.
Nomad Posted September 18, 2005 Posted September 18, 2005 I think NY's suggestion is a good idea. Escorts are technically legal (I think) & are probably cleaner, safer & better-looking than streetwalkers. That's the route I'm considering for myself. There's much material online about how to order an escort, what to say, what to do, etc. Some services actually post their "menus" online so you can get a look at the girls.
Mary3 Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Its illegal and its Prostitution , at least in Nevada....Thats why they call it Escort Service but really its sex service but just can't be announced that way... If you want sex you have to go in the counties that allow it. In Nevada's case Clark County is off limits but Nye county is where the Whore Houses are... Having someone come to where you are and visit is legal...But having sex with them for payment....is not legal
Nightlife858 Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Spazz and Nomad I'll give you a suggestion that nobody else has given you. Get some experience so that you BELIEVE in yourself. Start becoming social. Make lots of females friends. Another option that might be up your alley is a dating workshop. Have you ever seen the movie Hitch? They really exist. But go to one that will take you out to nightclubs, bars, restaurants, shopping malls, and other places so that you can practice with the instructors on your confidence. You'll feel very differently about this post when you have the ability to date 5 women any given week. Feel free to take a look at my profile for more info about one known as Fidentia
Gold Pile Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I think NY's suggestion is a good idea. Escorts are technically legal (I think) & are probably cleaner, safer & better-looking than streetwalkers. That's the route I'm considering for myself. There's much material online about how to order an escort, what to say, what to do, etc. Some services actually post their "menus" online so you can get a look at the girls. No matter the legality, it's a doable option. Forget the streetwalkers! Escorts from a good service are high end. Ideally everyone would find a nice partner at 15. The longer a guy goes without sex, the more it effects him. Best to get it done with. After so long, I think you'll find the actual act a letdown. But you'll still get hooked and want more, more, more.
Dean3922 Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 Just remember that when it is meant to happen - it will! Lack of exp. is not such a terrible thing. Learning is actually the most fun. You aren't in any hole. Your actually a lot more desirable than you realize. So true. Your lack of experience is like a clean slate to a women who is willing to help you. There are many women who will love to show you the ropes. You are in a unique position so make the most of it. Knowledge is so much fun to give to someone else if they are willing to learn. I think you know what goes where so it is just a matter of what individual people prefer in making love. Let them show you and be eager to learn. Good Luck
Nomad Posted September 19, 2005 Posted September 19, 2005 I don't have any female friends. I don't know how to just "make lots & lots of them." If I knew that, I probably wouldn't be in this predicament. I hardly have any male friends. If I could get some girls, that would indeed help with my confidence level. But I can't get girls. On the rare occasion I do get up the nerve (or even have the chance) to talk to a girl, she's usually not interested. And also many girls my age have boyfriends. I've also tried Online Personals sites to meet girls; that hasn't worked either. The bottom line is, I don't have the physical attributes to be attractive to girls (I'm short, have a homely face, etc). So I'm tired of waiting: it's not going to "just happen" for me. I'm just going to say f*ck it & pay for it. I would recommend the author of this post does the same. If a guy's 30 & hasn't gotten laid, the hard truth is he's probably a dork and/or not good-looking. I know that's the situation I'm in.
JS17 Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Are you setting your standards too high? What is it you're saying to these women that you meet, online or otherwise? Maybe we can help you. You know, looks aren't everything, personality can make up for a lot. If you start appreciating and enjoying life more, maybe you'll have better luck with women. And while I'm not a virgin, I wouldn't mind if I met a guy who was. I would hate to see a guy I know go to an escort for their first time but that's your choice of course.
Nomad Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Perhaps my standards are too high, but I haven't really hit on too many girls at all, good-looking or otherwise. A girl doesn't need to look like a model (I certainly don't) but I do want her to at least be cute & in reasonably decent shape. I can't & won't date a girl I'm not at all attracted to. I've tried online dating & had almost no success. Some of the girls I've emailed on there haven't been great-looking & I either got an unfavorable response or no response at all from them. Part of my problem is I don't know 1) HOW to hit on girls, i.e. what to say, how to project myself, etc, 2) WHERE to hit on girls (I don't get out to bars that much & when I do I'm often too shy to approach them & don't know what to say, anyway). I feel weird just trying to pickup random girls on the street or in a Starbucks or something.
Recommended Posts