We broke up! So why am I still getting suckered into these stupid games????

[bittermelon]

Ok, short condensed version of the story:

 

We broke up when I found another woman in his house in the middle of the night. Not sure if they had sex yet, but they were close to it, since they were in his bed when I found them. I broke up with him. We were no contact for about 2 weeks.

 

Then I ran into him the other day. I guess he saw that I was better because I was a mess after the breakup. He text me soon after and told me he loves me and asked to see me. We did txt back and forth and emailed each other for a bit after that. He'll ask me things like do i miss him and stuff, and I would play along and tell him I don't cause he's a jerk, but deep down I couldn't tell him to go away cause I still missed him.

 

3 nights ago, I got a txt in the middle of the night at 3am saying he loves me. (trust me, this guy has trouble saying this stuff, so this is actually going out of his way). The texts lead to him saying that he was coming over to sleep at my place, which was not possible he knew because I'm staying at my parents. Then around 4, he asked me to come over and said I can stay in the spare room with him. Why the spare room? Because I told him that I would never set foot in his house again after what I found! When I told him this, he said he would not force me because he understands. So now, he thinks that my coming into his spare room would spare me the agony of having to go into his bedroom where everything went down, even though it's next door to the spare room. WTF? Is this the most ridiculous thing ever???!!!

 

I said "no, I don't think I belong there anymore" in ref to his house. That was it, he never responded back, I did call him, no return, I emailed him, nothing.

 

I know it was stupid of me to even talk to him in the first place. I guess I expected him to come up with an alternative way to see me, like just picking me up for a drive so that we can talk. Or even just to see him try harder then inviting me over in the middle of the night like I'm some kind of security blanket for him on lonely nights.

 

What do you guys think? Is he genuinely feeling rejected by my answer that he doesn't want to reach out to me anymore because he feels like he has tried and he's just making me feel worse by forcing me to see him before I'm ready... or was this just a last attempt to get some action? I do know he still loves me but all I want to do is talk. Now that doesn't even seem like an option anymore because he's not responding.

 

Yeah, I realize as I'm writing this that he's playing games because if he really wants me, he'd try a lot harder than this. But I'll post this anyway cause it makes me feel better just knowing that I've poured my feelings out.

 

Thanks, guys

[Cee]

I rarely get angry about stories I hear on LS, but this one really pisses me off.

 

I think you are dead on about this guy playing games in the middle of the night. If he was clearheaded and sincere, he would have asked for a chance to talk at a reasonable hour. Also, I wouldn't believe that he's putting his cheating ways behind him. 3 am texting is booty call behavior. I wouldn't trust anyone who texted me in the middle of the night.

 

This guy is such an *********. What a cheating, immature douchebag.

 

I'm sorry he put you through this nonsense and I hope you heal quickly.

[Trovador]

More than you breaking up with him, he broke up with himself... It seems you are not giving enough thought to what he did... do you think it was just that time?

 

Come on, dear, you're better than that!

 

Don't bother with him anymore, as I said he dumped himself...

[porter218]

He is messing with your head. NC is the only solution to this mess.

 

Or even just to see him try harder then inviting me over in the middle of the night like I'm some kind of security blanket for him on lonely nights.

You are exactly right. He wants you to act as his security blanket:rolleyes:. That is all about him and not about you. He is very self serving and you're best off dropping him like a hot potato. He absolutely makes me sick with his actions and I don't think any healthy friendship can be made from this. Get on with your life honey. Keep posting here instead of contacting him.

[quankanne]

sounds like it's all a head-game to see just how much control he has over you. You're "getting suckered" because you still have valid feelings and are trying to right by those feelings. However, he's gonna show his rear, big time, and it'll be all the more easier for you to just say, "adios, sucker!"

[Jannah]

Because he's a pathetic dweeb?

[bittermelon]

thanks for the advice, everyone! yes, i re-read my posting and I realize how ridiculous all of this sounds. it's so much harder to have a clear head when this is happening to yourself, yet if this happened to anyone else I would've told them to dump the loser right away too.

 

I don't know what I would do without this forum! thanks, LS!