TomerT Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Let's assume hypothetical situation: You love your gf, she loves you. But, for some reason your gf asks for a break (not an official break up), saying that she needs her time and space...whatever..you unarguably accept it (cause you respect your gf)... during this time she has new (or old, doesn't matter for the sake of the discussion) bf, of course they have sex, but eventually they break up..she comes back to you and asking for a second chance... "Theoretically" all legitimate, right ? But, why I still feel cheated and as only a back up plan ? Is it normal ? Is this indeed cheating (or asking for a break allows you to have sex with others and then coming back like nothing happen ?) Would you give her second chance ? Any other insights more than welcome...
Capthxc Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Probably not. A break to me is getting some space away from your SO to figure things out, not to causually date some guy that you want to have sex with.
Fouts Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 It's called being used as a security blanket until Mr Right comes along and you finally get dumped for good. Is it fair? You allow it, so absolutely. If you don't want to be a doormat, don't be one.
Author TomerT Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 It's called being used as a security blanket until Mr Right comes along and you finally get dumped for good. Is it fair? You allow it, so absolutely. If you don't want to be a doormat, don't be one. I wish I knew it before..But how can one now ? When she is saying that you are the best thing that happened to her life, that she loves you, miss you every minute and all this stuff...I think no one (human and reasonable) can be "shielded" from this...Am I wrong ? How can I know that I am being used if my gf acts reasonably like every "normal" gf would act ?
Ajax Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 But, why I still feel cheated and as only a back up plan ? Is it normal ? Is this indeed cheating (or asking for a break allows you to have sex with others and then coming back like nothing happen ?) Would you give her second chance ? Any other insights more than welcome... That's exactly how I'd feel. Like second best. Sloppy seconds. I'd never be able to completely trust her or stop imagining her with someone else. And yes, even if it's not technically cheating I'd still feel like I'd been cheated on.
thatsonlyme Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 It's probably very hard for you because you still love her. You know what's the best course of action: moving on, but I can only imagine how hard would it be for you to move on now that she wants you back. You know her better than anybody and maybe she really made an honest mistake. Most likely you are just a plan B though. Ultimately it's your decision and if you decide to take her back you should be ready for another heart break. At least it could give you some time to work on your life while you're with her and prepare your own back up plan. If my ex ever comes back that's exactly what I'm going to do. I hope my ex never comes back though, because I'm pretty damn sure I'd take her back!
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