chels Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Here's my main question: my bf and I haven't been getting along lately and I pulled the worst ultimatum ever. Out of the blue, in a fit of emotion (and trying to get my way,) I told him I was moving out-of-state. Now he's crying and super upset and says he "didn't know what he had til it's gone," and I have no idea what to do now. Especially since I'm NOT moving! And I never intended to! Is there any possible way to get out of this bad scenario without admitting I made it all up (which will only make him angry and possibly hate me?) What is the best way to handle this?? That pretty much sums it up, but if you want to know the back story, here it is: My bf and I were together for 1.5 years, it started to get pretty rough, and he ended it. It was my fault (I got drunk at one his family's get-togethers, acted like a jacka** and totally embarrassed him and myself,) but I asked for a second chance and he wanted to consider it. He said that before we could try again he wanted to spend a couple weeks apart. So we did, and I didn't contact him, and of course the entire time I was terrified that it was really over and I'd never hear from him. Then he started calling me really late at night, sometimes drunk. It happened a few times over the past week, and every time I was so thrilled to hear from him, I always answered and even let him "sleep over" once. But he was always weird after and I wouldn't hear from him for a few days, until he'd call me at midnight a few days later. So, I told a few friends and their thought was that he was using me for a booty-call, a lay, emotional support when he was lonely, whatever. Basically, they thought I was being used. After hearing this a few times, I started to get pissed off. So I called him, thinking I'd talk to him. He didn't answer or respond in any way, which only re-confirmed my fears. Three hours later, I was really freaking out. That's when I made up the story of moving out of state, because I knew it would make him call me back. And he did, and that's why I'm in this mess now. Someone please help!
sugarmomma Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 tell him that your plans fell through since he will be pissed if you tell him you lied. Wow.!
Kinder-Horror Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 I tried to send you a private message and it wouldn't let me... so my post below is edited for personal info I had in the previous message. sorry. It sounds like you care more about him than he does about you. Which hurts more now, than it will in a year - but the fact is... do you really want someone who will call you when he is drunk, but let your call go to voicemail when he is sober? That isn't fair. I've totally embellished the truth with a bf - especially when I was holding on to something my every last inch I could. We have all been there at some point. Truth: If you TRULY believe that this is going to work with him.... just tell him you wont go... Bam. end of story. He thinks your chose him - which is romantic anyway How old are you? Old enough to go to the bar with some girl friends? Or maybe take a vacation and get away - clear your mind? I think you need some distance to get some perspective on the relationship
Author chels Posted November 4, 2010 Author Posted November 4, 2010 Thank you both for your responses. I finally just told him I wasn't moving, and gave him only a vague explanation that "I was thinking about my options but haven't made the final decision to move yet." He seemed to accept this and wasn't mad or upset. The fact that I got myself in this situation made me realize how emotionally unstable I am at the moment. Obviously if I were in a good place, I wouldn't be getting myself in these embarrassing situations....
Left in a Lurch Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Thank you both for your responses. I finally just told him I wasn't moving, and gave him only a vague explanation that "I was thinking about my options but haven't made the final decision to move yet." He seemed to accept this and wasn't mad or upset. The fact that I got myself in this situation made me realize how emotionally unstable I am at the moment. Obviously if I were in a good place, I wouldn't be getting myself in these embarrassing situations.... So you fixed a lie with another lie? When did honesty become the last resort?
musemaj11 Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 Lol, you might as well say you were dying from cancer and only had a year to live.
LoveLace Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 tell him that your plans fell through since he will be pissed if you tell him you lied. Wow.! That's what I'd do. However, not sure if he will treat her any different just because of that. But I know this, if you have to lie or bribe to get someone's attention, it's not a healthy relationship, and it certainly isn't a healthy foundation to build one on, either.
Recommended Posts