overcome Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Hey everyone Just wanted to say that I've gone NC for 2 months now. At least I think it's been about 2 months. Not even sure anymore since I stopped counting. Nothing from her and nothing from me. She broke up with me stating that she wasn't feeling it anymore. I remember sitting there wondering how I should respond when it occurred to me that there was nothing I could say that would probably change her mind. I believe that once a girl's interest level drops below a certain threshold, the best thing a guy can do is accept her choice and walk away because she's not going to change her mind. I wasn't an a-hole, douche bag, cheater, uncaring boyfriend. Just the opposite. I've told women the same thing that this girl told me so I knew there was no point in fighting how she felt. Will I ever really know exactly why she lost interest? Nope. Does it matter? Nope. From day one I eliminated phone number, e-mail, IM etc. That way I could not try to communicate with her when I knew I shouldn't. For all I know she did the same. To those who are struggling with NC, I feel for you. It's very hard. Still is for me since I miss my ex like so many of us do. But if you have just started NC or have been doing it for awhile, make sure you have seriously gotten rid of any method for contacting him/her. When you get the urge you won't be able to act on the impulse. Only way I could contact her now would be to drive over to her condo and there ain't no way I'm doing that. Best thing you can do for yourself is to give up hope. Normally I think hope is a good thing but in our scenarios, it only makes things worse and prevents you from moving on. So if you're coping with the loss of a SO, do the best thing for yourself and go NC. Ignorance really is bliss. Good luck NC'ers!
HopeLove Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I read once that once you achieved 2 months of absolutely NC you'll feel much better. Is it true? In 2 wks I'm going to achieve the 2 months as well.
Author overcome Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Hey Hope It does get easier but it all depends on how long you were with the other person, circumstances for the break up (cheating, fighting, mutual) etc. You basically have to find something to fill the void that was left by the other person. Not always an easy task. Right now it's especially hard for me because I'm job hunting so my days are long and drawn out. My thoughts often drift to memories of my ex. I have to force myself to think about something else. I would say I'm at one of the lowest points in my life but I also know that it's only a matter of time before things pick up again. How long were you and your ex together? Why the split?
HopeLove Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 We were together for just less then a year. I know is not much and I was so in love with him. There reason he gave to me was that he couldn't see a future together and therefore was better to split now rather than later. Three months after the breakup he told me that the decision to breakup with me was the hardest he ever made, that he loved me, thought about me every day but still thinks it is for the better to be apart. I wanted to talk to him but he doesn't want because he doesn't want to reopen old wounds. After 4 months I stoped (almost) to hope in a reconciliation and then I started to heal, but is still a hard and long way to go. What about you?
Author overcome Posted October 15, 2010 Author Posted October 15, 2010 Hope, That's rough. When the other person doesn't see it working out, you're left with so many questions and at times, the feeling of rejection can be overpowering. While he said he thought about you often, it doesn't change the situation. It's very likely he may have said that because he truly does care for you and wanted to make this easier for you. I think you have to let this one go and it sounds like you're coming to grips with that. It doesn't matter how long it takes and no one can tell you how long it will take. Everyone is different. But if he doesn't want to try again, there's nothing you can do to change his mind. It has to come from him without any influence from you. My ex didn't see it working either. I don't really know why nor will it help me to move on. It hurts but I refuse to ignore the reality of the situation. There is no going back for me. I can only move forward. But in the past, when relationships have gone sour, I made the mistake of trying to understand and pleaded with my ex's for another chance. Only now do I know it was a futile effort. If you start to look at each day as being one day closer to healing, one day closer to meeting someone special, your perspective will change. And when the day comes that you do meet another person and life is good again, think back to these days and remind yourself that things do get better. It's only a matter of time.
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