USMCHokie Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 I've proved this 100% wrong. You haven't proven a single thing. You're merely a single data point.
dispatch3d Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 so any luck? Sorry for rippin into you a bit in one post there.
Author U1987 Posted October 14, 2010 Author Posted October 14, 2010 dispatch3d's manufactured response is hilarious. I would have totally fallen for it. That is precisely what I'm looking for in a first response to my online dating profile. I want someone to help me not take myself too seriously, but delivered in a deft, non-blockheaded way. Ctrl+c OMG! I also love the saxophone Ctrl+v ^That is pure comedy gold. I really do not get it. Could someone please explain the joke?
Author U1987 Posted October 14, 2010 Author Posted October 14, 2010 The letters I respond to go something like "I read your profile, you seem to have put a lot of thought into it. I also like to read stephen king . . . ." and it goes on. He starts a conversation about things I mention enjoying. He might say my pictures are pretty, or he might not. Did you read some of the profiles I posted? I think it's clear that these girls did NOT put a lot of thought into it though. I don't know how I can honestly say that. And they're all really vague.
Boolou Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 I have to say the "prodding" isn't going to get you anywhere.. I'm on a dating site too and I often do not reply right away after reading a message... I usually take the time to think about whether or not I want to reply, and then what to reply with... but when I get a msg from a guy one day and then a "prod" from him the next I immediately think "ooooook he is either desperate, creepy or both". Fair? Maybe not... just tellin ya the reality
OceanGirl Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 You haven't proven a single thing. You're merely a single data point. Hahaha good one.
D-Lish Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 It's all about the pics you post. Put your best pics forward because ultimately that's what sells you. People look at the pics, that's the first test. After that, they go on to browse the profile. If your profile is overly negative, bitter, or weird- people won't respond. Online dating is 100% about your pics.
OceanGirl Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 It's all about the pics you post. Put your best pics forward because ultimately that's what sells you. People look at the pics, that's the first test. After that, they go on to browse the profile. If your profile is overly negative, bitter, or weird- people won't respond. Online dating is 100% about your pics. Agreed. Also, I think most people that do OLD assume that you will look slightly worse in person than your best pic and are willing to make about 20% allowance.
GooseChaser Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Even if they don't post a lot of information in their profiles, you can always talk about what they do mention or ask questions about them that you think of yourself. Good introductory questions to get to know them better. Do they like animals? What are their hobbies? If they are still in school, what are they studying? Do they like sports? Things like that!
alexlakeman Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 This is what women would do to your profile after reading your responses : command "hide" <enter>
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 IRC333 - you need to develop a thicker skin. Rejection is part of the deal for men when it comes to dating; much, much more so than women. For internet dating, times that by at least 10, because the availability of men to women online is much greater. OLD is a bitch, but I swear by it. Why? Because, in spite of barely getting one response in ten emails (PoF is even worse) I never let it get me down. I've had enough small successes to know that there are women out there who find me attractive and want to date me. I've had a lot of let downs, I can promise you, but I keep on going.
Cee Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 I really do not get it. Could someone please explain the joke? Ctrl+c OMG! I also love the saxophone Ctrl+v Ok, I'll explain it. The joke is funny if you read the woman's profile closely (I think it's the second one). Read the paragraph you copied in the post. She said she hated cut and pasted responses from men. So dispatch3d pretended to cut and paste a response. The comment about the saxophone has no relevance to the woman's profile. She never mentioned a saxophone in her profile. That's the genius of dispatch3d's example of a response. He showed that he actually read the woman's profile and riffed on her comment. And if she didn't respond to the joke, either she wasn't attracted to him, iow, didn't like his picture or she was too dim to get the humor. And that's a win/win for him b/c he weeded her out. If she got the clever joke, she'd probably respond pretty quickly & her interest would have been piqued.
hitmewitabrick Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 I know I am going to hear a lot of women pooh pooh this but try this yourself. Go to a free dating site like POF. Open a profile, bare minimum description, no hobbies, be a boring butt head, BUT, use a photo of a male model. I promise within an hour of doing so you will have 6 unsolicited e-mails in your inbox from women and they will not stop. Sorry girls but I have done this several time to prove a point and it works every time. I am not a bad looking guy and when I go out I do fairly well. But online I couldn't get the time of day. And I wrote average looking women at best not the dollies. So I stick to real world because, in my opinion, both men and women who use online dating, for the most part, have inflated and unrealistic views of who they are, what they look like, and whom they should be with. Online dating is a world of unreality.That's why if you go to a dating site chances are you will see the same faces there for years. These poeple never find anyone because they have these unrealistic self images and expectations of who they should be with. Go out and take dance lessons. Cruise Wal Mart (I swear its a great place to meet people). Go to a site like Meetup.com and join some local groups. Talk to people wherever you go. The real world is where its at. Get out there!
Cee Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 I second Meetup.com - The people are almost always friendly & you get to engage in a common interest, whether it's sky diving or knitting. It's a great way to make friends and brush up on social skills. People I know who hate online dating have gotten relationships via meetup.
irc333 Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 I second Meetup.com - The people are almost always friendly & you get to engage in a common interest, whether it's sky diving or knitting. It's a great way to make friends and brush up on social skills. People I know who hate online dating have gotten relationships via meetup. Yeah, 3rd Meetup....however, in the past couple of years, so many of our social friends got together, coupled up, got even married...and now, everyone kind of went their own way, and some of the events dispersed or just kind of stopped having actual meetups.. lol So the Meetups in our area have run their course. I guess it worked too well. But as with anything, it's cyclical I suppose and hopefully, it'll be active again. My only pet peeve is the people who join Meetups, but never attend them or RSVP YES, but never show. I think these people are just looking at the menu, and if they don't like what they see, they don't show. (They look at the RSVP list, see people they aren't physically attracted to, and dont' show) You'd be suprised how many people are on Meetup, but have 0 RSVP's. Rather shallow on their part that they can't even enjoy the actual EVENT that they have to approve of the attendees in order to go, I knew of a Meetup where like 15 People RSVP'ed Yes, and only 1 showed. Kinda crappy.
dispatch3d Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Obviously being a male model is going to help you get girls. There is nothing helpful in the above statement. I can't poof you into a model. Work on what you can improve, say **** it to the things you can't (like becoming a male model). You can, however, get social pictures of yourself where you are doing interesting or cool things. Have a fun and entertaining profile, and come off as someone that everyone would like to hang out with. Work on that aspect. The results will probably be similar if you manage to attain that . Saying oh they are all stupid, or flakes, or don't want to meet guys, or whatever. Well pof is a free site and yeah some people aren't that interested in meeting people from it. This definitely includes me. Get over it. Again, its just another avenue where you could meet someone you really like.
lino Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 I've never done online dating and the more I hear and read about it, the less inviting it sounds! Sounds like a lot of females dating online are massive head cases and it's not surprising to me at all. OP, if what you say about yourself is true, then you shouldn't have problems getting women. Especially if you just want sexual flings with em. I also think that many of the people responding to your OP in such a negatively critical way are massive stiffs. Yeah some of the messages you sent were a bit tacky but nowhere near deserving some of the reactions you got.
SlevinKalebra Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 I agree with USMchokie. And, forgive me if I am repeating what someone else already said, the deck is extremely lopsided when it comes to online dating. Women usually post free, don't take it as serious as men do (and shouldn't), the guys that do get dates there seem to be the five percent that get responses, finally even after they do not use the service any more the companies will send out emails in their name and profile to get frustrated guys to pony up the money. WAKE UP FELLAS ON LINE DATING SCREWS GUYS and not the way guys are hoping
Insanitylater Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 If your profile is overly negative, bitter, or weird- people won't respond. I've proved that wrong as well. I've got more traffic and interaction with a negative profile, compared to a positive one. But if anyone is smart enough on here, they could say " Yea but you're still single so it dont matter regardless "
sanskrit Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 I mean seriously, there are so little specifics in each one. Please, someone show me a good example of a first message. The women you quoted are barely literate. Those types tend to be extreme flakes and misery in other ways. But in case you do write them, you can take anything they say to make one of your three points. "I hate liars too, like in that Twilight movie where the vampire lied to the girl!?! What's up with that??"
sanskrit Posted October 15, 2010 Posted October 15, 2010 To the guys who are having trouble online dating, you can improve. I did. My first time online dating, I got a 10% response rate if that. Second time, 30-50%, last time, I picked the 20 best profiles in a metro area out of 500 or so, mailed the top ten, 7 responded ready to date. Like anything else, it takes practice and a willingness to learn. Oh yes, almost forgot, there -are- magic words. My results improved drastically after I started using this opener to every Email: "Since winning the lottery last month, I have been torn between going ahead and getting expensive penis reduction surgery or focusing on meeting the girl of my dreams on match. For the time being, I have chosen the latter."
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