deuces Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 My ex broke up with me the first week of August. During that whole month, I did everything you aren't suppose to do (calling,asking for reasons,pressuring her,reasoning,crying,you name it). Only thing I didn't do was stalk her since she is 7000 miles away. I recently got enough courage to break all ties and stop calling her but of course, she started calling me 3 days ago just to tell me she misses me, she's thinking of me, she wants to hear my voice, and that she "loves me so much". I managed to dodge her first 3 attempts and on the 4th, I got weak and answered. She didn't tell me anything new except what I mentioned above. I have a gut feeling she is seeing someone else and I soooooooooo badly want to call her and ask her. I know though that if I do call, nothing good will come out of it. She will either lie and deny it (she's very good at that) or if she miraculously admits it, then it will destroy me. Knowing this, I don't know why I still want to call. Please if anyone is reading, please knock it into my head why I shouldn't call her. I am close to doing it! I hate this!
Leandro Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Well if you call you are not going to like the response you get from her. You will only be hurting yourself if you call her. Be a man and don't call!
Ajax Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 I've been weakening on the NC front myself these days. But I haven't broken it yet. Like you I suspect my ex is seeing someone despite the fact that she said that she can't be in a relationship for a while. We all know that song and dance. Be strong and don't break NC. If she is seeing someone then you'll come off as the pitiful ex who came in second. She won't respect you for it, and neither will you. Stay on the high road.
skydiveaddict Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 My ex broke up with me the first week of August. During that whole month, I did everything you aren't suppose to do (calling,asking for reasons,pressuring her,reasoning,crying,you name it). Only thing I didn't do was stalk her since she is 7000 miles away. I recently got enough courage to break all ties and stop calling her but of course, she started calling me 3 days ago just to tell me she misses me, she's thinking of me, she wants to hear my voice, and that she "loves me so much". I managed to dodge her first 3 attempts and on the 4th, I got weak and answered. She didn't tell me anything new except what I mentioned above. I have a gut feeling she is seeing someone else and I soooooooooo badly want to call her and ask her. I know though that if I do call, nothing good will come out of it. She will either lie and deny it (she's very good at that) or if she miraculously admits it, then it will destroy me. Knowing this, I don't know why I still want to call. Please if anyone is reading, please knock it into my head why I shouldn't call her. I am close to doing it! I hate this! First, DON"T cal her. Next, block her #. Then delete her email address. Then delete here from fb (if you have it). Believe me friend, me and many others here have gone through the same thing. You are setting yourself up for HORRIBLE pain if you contact her in any way.
Author deuces Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 Leandro-I'm a girl...lol. I feel like I wish I was a guy (not really), then I wouldn't be such an emotional wreck )
Leandro Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Leandro-I'm a girl...lol. I feel like I wish I was a guy (not really), then I wouldn't be such an emotional wreck ) Oh lol . sorry I didn't know.
Angel1111 Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 WTH???!!! She breaks up with you and then calls and tells you she loves you and misses you??? I'm not going to stop you from calling her. You need to. And don't leave a message - make sure she picks up so that you can directly ask her what the heck she's thinking calling you and telling you that after breaking up with you. Tell her that she had better not ever say those words to you again unless she means them and plans to do something about it. And then hang up on her. Good grief.
thatsonlyme Posted October 13, 2010 Posted October 13, 2010 Leandro-I'm a girl...lol. I feel like I wish I was a guy (not really), then I wouldn't be such an emotional wreck ) Being a guy wouldn't make any difference. Ask me how I know...
Author deuces Posted October 13, 2010 Author Posted October 13, 2010 Thanks for the responses... Unfortunately, I ended up going out last night, getting way more drunk than I had expected, and drunk dialed her. I'm a loser and getting sick of myself. My initial point was to tell her to stop calling me telling me she loves me and misses me because there is no point. She didn't take it too well and said she can't promise anything but will try not to call. She said she doesn't know what she wants but at least she calls me to tell me how she feels, that she really does love me. I didn't take it too well and proceeded to yell a bit, told her to go f%@! herself. Told her to call me when she figures out what she wants and most likely by the time that happens, it won't even matter anymore. Oh well, I took 3 baby steps forward and now took about 25 steps backward! I hate feeling like this. I feel bad because I know that I should not have called while I was drunk nor talked to her in the way that I did so part of me wants to apologize but part of me is like whatever...
Angel1111 Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Oh well, I took 3 baby steps forward and now took about 25 steps backward! I hate feeling like this. I feel bad because I know that I should not have called while I was drunk nor talked to her in the way that I did so part of me wants to apologize but part of me is like whatever... Actually, she should be apologizing to you. You know, whenever a person breaks up with someone, that carries some responsibility with it - and part of that responsibility is to not jerk the other person around. She has no right to be calling you and telling you that stuff. Yea, it's great to know she still cares and is having second thoughts, but she shouldn't act on impulse when she knows how that's going to affect you. That's just pure selfishness.
Audieme Posted October 14, 2010 Posted October 14, 2010 Oh well, I took 3 baby steps forward and now took about 25 steps backward! I hate feeling like this. I feel bad because I know that I should not have called while I was drunk nor talked to her in the way that I did so part of me wants to apologize but part of me is like whatever... Don't beat yourself up! You're emotional, you're human, you're a person with feelings, this is okay...what you did was somewhat expected, I'm sure we've all been there. Start over again, treat this day as the beginning of NC again. Don't dwell on taking "25 steps backwards," you didn't, all you did was trip. Get up, brush yourself off, and continue walking forward, baby steps even. You'll be all right. Next time she calls, take your time in figuring out what you do next. Don't rush and let your emotions get the better of you. Stay relaxed, cool, and calm. This calm behavior will work in your favor, proving to her that you "might be getting over her and moving on," when indeed you're not at this time. Fake it till you make it. Let HER be curious about YOU.
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